Wednesday, January 2, 2008

It's Never Good If Mark Geragos Is There

Dude gets killed by a freaking tiger at the SF Zoo on Christmas Day. His two buddies get mauled. The tiger gets shot dead (eventually). Enter Mark Geragos, lawyer for those who will get a lot of publicity and never for a good reason.

Geragos, you may recall, was the attorney for Scott Peterson (scumbucket husband who killed his wife, Laci), Michael Jackson (scumbucket alleged child molester), Winona Ryder (aw, I like Winona. She gets a pass.), Gary Condit (scumbucket politician who was having an affair with then soon to disappear only to be found dead intern Chandra Levy), and the list goes on.

Whenever I hear this guy's name, I just cringe. He is just a slippery, slippery guy. There's always a very far-fetched reason for everything that his clients are accused of. And I've noticed it's never a very emphatic far-fetched reason. It's always a "On a scale of 1 to 10, the reason is about a 6" sort of attitude toward everything.

Of course, he's representing the two brothers who survived the "attack". (Attack is in quotes because it hasn't been determined yet if the tiger had been taunted by these three. See, now if the tiger was unprovoked, then it's an attack. If the tiger was provoked, then it's just being a tiger. HUGE difference.) And, of course, the two brothers have lawyered up and they have also stopped cooperating with law enforcement. The first one, not a huge shock. The second one....Huh?

They're not talking. They've lawyered up. They've teamed up with Mark Geragos. Something is just not quite right with that whole scenario. I'll hold off on passing any more judgement until more investigating into this ordeal is completed. But I'm telling you right now, if Geragos is there, something is amiss.

Has Geragos actually successfully defended anyone? Oh, wait, he got Susan McDougal of Whitewater fame acquitted. Other than that, his success record at defending famous individuals isn't great. Oh, wait, he also got probation for Victor Willis, the former lead singer of the Village People (he was the cop)as opposed to state prison. Hmmmmm....I'd hire someone else.

Side note: This is quite possibly one of the most interesting trivia nuggets of all time: Who was Victor Willis once married to (and for a long time, like 8 years or something like that)? Give up. Phylicia Rashad. Yes, that is correct. The actress who played Claire Huxtable on The Cosby Show. HER and Victor Willis. Husband and wife. See? Is that not the best trivia nugget you've ever heard? Of course it is.

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