Friday, January 25, 2008

I Mighta Called Mary-Kate Too

Surprisingly, I'm actually going to defend the masseuse who found Heath Ledger and decided that the most appropriate first action to take would be to call Mary-Kate Olsen.

Finding someone dead (let alone, naked and dead) is not a pleasant thing. I'm sure it's a very odd experience. But there's a difference between finding someone dead whom you would expect to be dead (or wouldn't be surprised that they're dead) and finding someone dead whom you would not expect to find dead. Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, Dick Cheney; none of those would be a huge shocker. Heath Ledger? Mmmm....kinda.

Think of it like this: Masseuse goes in, there's her client. Naked. Lying there. Could just be sleeping soundly. (Remember, you're not expecting him to be dead. Sleeping is the first thing that would come to mind.) Sleeping that soundly is a little strange. Maybe something is wrong. But what if it's not? How close can she get before it gets weird? Tries to remember the protocol for situations when it's appropriate to approach and possibly poke a naked client to determine responsivity. Draws a blank. What to do? What to do? Sees dude's cell. Looks for something or someone. A-ha! Mary-Kate! That Olsen twin. I'll call her.

I mean, at that point, you're really searching for anything that is familiar and normal to grasp onto. And I realize that "familiar and normal" doesn't exactly describe Mary-Kate Olsen to a tee, but you'll take what you can get at times like those.

Look, in her defense (again, surprising that it's coming from me) she did call 911 after getting off the phone with MK. Had she called MK back and not called 911, well, I'd be all over that. But let's cut her a break. That just can't be good. For anyone. Especially Heath. Sorry, dude.

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