- Neighborhood Inaugural Ball at the Washington Convention Center.
- Obama Home States (Illinois and Hawaii) Inaugural Ball at the Washington Convention Center.
- Biden Home States (Pennsylvania and Delaware) Inaugural Ball at the Washington Convention Center.
- Midwest Inaugural Ball at the Washington Convention Center.
- Mid-Atlantic Inaugural Ball at the Washington Convention Center.
- Western Inaugural Ball at the Washington Convention Center.
- Commander in Chief’s Ball at the National Building Museum.
- Southern Inaugural Ball at the National Guard Armory.
- Eastern Inaugural Ball at Union Station.
- Youth Inaugural Ball at the Washington Hilton.
Again, those are the official Inaugural Balls. Behold! A list of the really silly sounding unofficial Inaugural Balls:
- Congressional Black Caucus Inaugural Ball at the Capitol Hilton.
- Creative Coalition Inaugural Ball at the Harman Center for the Arts.
- Recording Industry Association of America’s ball for Feeding America.
- BET’s Inaugural Ball at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel.
- Africa on the Potomac inaugural celebration at Crystal Gateway Marriott in Arlington, Va.
- American Music Inaugural Ball at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel.
- Inaugural Purple Ball at the Fairmont Hotel.
- Human Rights Campaign’s Equality Ball at the Renaissance Mayflower Hotel.
- Inaugural Peace Ball at the Smithsonian National Postal Museum.
- Impact Film Fund ball.
Um, what the hell are those? Africa on the Potomac?? Um, no it isn't! At first, I thought that the Inaugural Purple Ball was being hosted by Prince. But, as it turns out, it seems to be help out the UNCF (UNCF stands for "United African-American College Fund". Why there hasn't been a name change over there, I couldn't fathom a guess.) and to honor veterans and troops. Tickets ran from $5,000, $2,000, $1,000 and $500 and all of those are sold out. (It's nice to know that in the middle of this great economic crisis that there's still plenty of cash flowing around out there somewhere, isn't it?)
The Impact Film Fund ball was a bit trickier to pin down on what it's cause was (other than celebrating the arrival of the new Messiah), but I can tell you that Kanye West is 99.9% certain to perform at it! How's that for exciting, eh?!
The Inaugural Peace Ball being held at the Smithsonian National Postal Museum sounds like a little get together that's sure to bring down the house, doesn't it? Yeah, not quite. A ball at a postal museum. I think I'd probably rather have a root canal.
The Creative Coalition Inaugural Ball is sponsored by Pepsi and seems to cater to the famous for acting crowd. Some ticket packages for that event went for $100,000. That got you 50 VIP admissions to the Inaugural Ball and 20 admissions to the pre-Ball VIP dinner. So, wait. Fifty of you get to go to the ball, but only twenty of you get to eat? For one hundred thousand dollars? Now that's some change! For a hundred grand, I could not only feed all fifty of my guests, but continue to do so every day for the next ten years! I don't know how I'd feel if I received an invite that said "Ball ONLY" on it. I probably wouldn't feel too badly about it...until I learned that it was $100,000 and then I'd be pissed that I wasn't getting fed for some reason.
But that is clearly a rip off because if you buy the next package down (The Gold Package) from that one (The Platinum Package) you get 16 VIP admissions to the Inaugural Ball and only 4 admissions to the pre-Ball chow line. And that will still end up running you $50,000. So you're paying half the price of the Platinum Package, but you're getting far less than half of what they got. This isn't a McDonald's Value Meal we're talking about, so I'm thinking that things should be pretty much proportionate across the board. But they're not. (See? That's not change! The one's with more money get more! Re-dis-trib-ute! Re-dis-trib-ute!) With the Platinum deal, 40% of the folks get to eat, but in the Gold deal, only 25% get to eat. That's not the socialist economy I remember hearing promised to us!
How are the four of you that are getting fed going to explain that to the other twelve who aren't? "Uh, well, we didn't realize that not everyone would be able to go. But I brought you this roll! It's warm, 'cause it's been in my pocket for the last half hour! Where are you going? Don't leave! It's a PRESIDENTIAL roll!!"
Basically, all of the unofficial balls are put on by the entertainment industry and a bunch of other Hollywood tools. The official balls are put on by the political industry and a bunch of other Washington, DC tools. Either way, it sounds like a self-important tool fest. Barry will be sworn in at noon, EST. Afterwards, he will give a speech that you will hear endlessly repeated and or quoted until he is up for re-election in 2012. People will weep. Dogs will bark. I don't know when the Presidential bedtime is, but Barry will have from, let's say 1pm onward to attend ten Inaugural Balls. Doesn't that sound like how you'd want to spend your first day on the job? Who's watching the country while he's off boogie-ing with Michelle? (Don't tell me it's that Biden guy. I haven't seen him in months. Is he still alive?)
Good lucky, Barry. I don't know if I'm going to recognize the change right away, but if that's how your life is going to be, you will! Good luck with that.Sphere: Related Content