Thursday, January 29, 2009

What Did She Say?

Again, congratulations to President Barry. And I'm not about to imply that he isn't President because of the debacle that was the administering of the oath. That's not it. There are just a couple of things I wanted to bring up in regards to the oath however. Well, the oath process more than the oath itself. The oath itself was fine. The process of administering the oath was a disaster.

Pretty much, Barry managed to raise his right hand correctly and have his other hand on the Bible. After that, it's all downhill. You wouldn't think that would be possible. The Presidential oath is only 37 words. I'd think it'd more than that. It definitely gives the incoming President way too much leeway and way too much credit for what he is or is not capable of doing. Here it is:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

See what I mean? It needs something in there like, 'Thou shalt not be a dumbass." ('Thou shalt nots' always makes things sound like you really need to do them.) "The best of my ability"? What kind of a promise is that? This is a person that was elected by the American people who are, by and large, idiots. It is not out of the realm of possibility that a complete moron was elected. (It's not like no one can argue that its never happened before!) What's the best of a moron's ability? Not good enough for me! That's what it is! But I digress.

When Chief Justice John Roberts is reciting what he thinks is the Oath of Office and gets it wrong, Barry stops and gives him a chance to correct himself. (I liked the subtle head nod that he gave him. No need to embarrass the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court before Barry is officially his boss or anything. Just a nod of the ol' noggin and Roberts caught on.) Roberts begins with, "I, Barack Hussein Obama" and then he pauses. Just briefly, but he pauses. And that seems to signal to Barry that it's his turn to repeat what Roberts just said. So just as Barry speaks, Roberts continues with "Do solemnly swear." I halfway expected Nelson from The Simpsons to jump out and yell, "Ha-HA!"

He attempts to continue by saying, "That I will execute the office to President of the United States faithfully" What the hell was that? "The office to President"? That's not the oath. That's not anything. That's just John Roberts making stuff up is what that is. Tell me, who in their right mind goes up to inaugurate a President (who could be Jesus, if you listen to his throngs of followers. Man, I'd love to have throngs of followers. Heck, I'd settle for just a throng.) for the very first time and doesn't have the shpiel written on a little notecard or a cocktail napkin or something? No one except for John Roberts, apparently! Is he going to apologize to President Barry for muffing it up? Probably only if he gets President Barry to say he's sorry for being the only "No" vote when Roberts was being confirmed for the Supreme Court. And I don't see that happenin', so I guess not!

But then, after Barry (he's not President at this point) waits for him to correct himself, then Barry goes and says it the way that Roberts phrased it the first time. That is also known as "the wrong way"! What was up with all of that? Quite possibly the worst Oath of Office ceremony ever. (And just so that administration didn't start off with a major conspiracy theory about whether or not he was actually President after that farce, Barry took the oath of office again on the following day. Probably a good idea, what with a bunch of slipshod bloggers out there whipping up who knows what kind of a frenzy over that one!)

And here's a question: Why is Barry so far away from John Roberts? Why are they not closer together? And why does the photo below make it appear as is Malia Obama is President of the United States, as she appears to be standing directly behind the podium?! I don't have a problem with it, I just find it funny. Does Malia have any ideas about the economy? Perhaps if her Dad tanks it, we can hear from her in the future.

But there's another part of Inauguration Day 2009 that hasn't been talked about much and that's really a shame because it's far more amusing that the oath blunders themselves.

First off, I just want to state that I really like Dianne Feinstein. She's an excellent Senator and does a fine job. I like the woman. That being said, when she introduced Chief Justice Roberts...? Um....I'm pretty sure she didn't say "...will administer the Oath of Office." Yeah, I'm fairly certain that she said "....will administer the Oaf of Office." I swear. I have listened to the clip at least twenty times and I have watched the video of her speaking to see if her mouth does the "f" sound or the "th" sound and it looks like the "f" sound. (Actually, that would be rather appropriate because when I first heard it live, I, too, used the "f" sound as I thought, "WTF? Did she say 'oaf' ?!"

The Oaf of Office? What the hell is up with that?! Barry isn't the Oaf of Office! The Oaf of Office is going back to Crawford, Texas as soon as this ceremony is over! He's the Oaf! Oaf?! Oaf??!! It's Oath!! Oath!! (I am naturally reminded of the scene in The Muppet Movie where Kermit is telling Miss Piggy about something that is a myth. "Myth! Myth!" he shouts. That's when a waitress pops out of nowhere. "Yes?" Hilarious.)

But all witty banter aside, how did she say 'oaf'? She speaks very clearly, makes more sense than most of the Senators, hasn't had a stroke, isn't crazy, isn't a reality show cast member, didn't seem drunk. I don't get it. Dianne Feinstein knows that it's "oath", doesn't she? She knows it's not "oaf", right? You be the judge. The video is below. (The video is from YouTube. It's not my editing, captioning, anything. It's just here.) The entire clip is 4 minutes and 16 seconds long, but Dianne Feinstein starts talking at about 10 seconds and she's already said "oaf of office" by the 23 second mark and John Roberts attempt to swear Barry into office is immediately after that. You can watch the rest if you'd like, but the key points are straight from the beginning and last about a minute. (I like efficiency, what can I say?)

It sounded like 'oaf'. It looked like 'oaf'. WTF, I think she said 'oaf'! Geez. Well, I'm glad that Barry was finally able to take the oath or oaf or whatever it was and is now our President. Can I just ask that the country be run a little smoother than the swearing in part? I don't need someone getting all confused and instead of saying "stimulus" they say "Depression". We don't need that sort of oaf in charge of getting things back on track around here.

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