Friday, September 12, 2008

Asshat of the Year (So Far)

There are some people who just belong in jail. I know there's a system and all of that and some people can be placed on probation or parole, but some just shouldn't. Ever. No, they should just stay inside their teeny, tiny cell alone until the end of time. And last I checked, that could be a while (which is a good thing in this case).

Meet my nominee for Asshat of the Year ,Walter Freeman.


Walter is 72 and lives in Poughkeepsie. He is apparently going for the "Kenny Rogers on Crack" look. The folks over there at the Poughkeepsie Journal also felt the need to tell us that he lived on Lent Street. Well, he used to live on Lent Street. Walter lives in jail now. Walter will live in jail for a while. That is not a bad thing.

See, Walter is a sex offender and was placed on probation on July 15 after "...he admitted he had failed to notify police he had changed his address, as required by state law for most sex offenders." Well, that's not good. Not surprising, either.

Then, Walter "...acknowledged last month he had violated the terms of his probation by approaching two children in a bank in Poughkeepsie and offering to buy them ice cream." Back in 2006, Walter was "convicted of molesting an 11-year-old girl he didn't know." As if his relationship with the girl has any relevance on anything. Why must media throw in ridiculous information about nothing and leave out the things that are really important? Like why he only got probation (if that's the case, but I don't see how it would be anything else if he was already out and about and wandering around looking for small children to grope.) None of those things are good either. And again, not overly surprising.

So we haven't been surprised yet. We have Walter, the 72-year old, child molesting pervert who had been placed on probation and then violated the terms of his probation. No shockers there. The alarming part is the length of time in between the placing and the violating. And really, "length of time" is a little misleading because there wasn't much of a "length" at all. In fact, there wasn't even an hour. There was forty minutes. Wait. What?

Correct. Forty minutes after being placed on probation, Walter was trolling the bank (of all places) looking for children so he could buy them ice cream. Yo, Walt! Did you think it was a race? Were you in some sort of hurry? Good Lord, man. Forty minutes? What in the hell is wrong with you?

The judge in this case, a one Judge Gerald V. Hayes, told Walter during the court hearing, “You may have set the record for how quickly you violated probation." May have set the record? Who else was in the running and how quickly did they go out and do something so ridiculously stupid, not to mention vile and disgusting? Actually, never mind. I don't think I want to know. Besides, all that's really important at this point is that the judge sentenced Walter to a year and a half in jail.

I'm going to assume that it was only a year and a half because it was a probation violation and "technically" not an "offense" (though it was offensive). And in this case, some jail is better than no jail at all. But let's be realistic here. The guy is 72. He has clearly learned absolutely nothing during those 72 years. He will never change. That is indicative based upon the fact that he hasn't so far and there doesn't seem to be a lot of time left for Walter to make a move. It is people like Walter that cause me to advocate some sort of exile island.

It really wouldn't be such a bad deal. It's just some island in the middle of the ocean far, far, far away from civilized individuals (who do not feel the need to molest small children EVER). It doesn't have to be huge. The one below would be fine. (Oh, and feel free to cram as many of them on it as you possibly could. No need to waste any more space that these sort of people are taking up.)


Unbelievable that this dude couldn't even go one hour. Yeah, there's definitely no hope for someone who is 72 and doing that. Off to the island they go! Are there sharks in those waters? If not, there should be.

Stumble Upon Toolbar Sphere: Related Content

No comments: