Monday, September 29, 2008

Will The Real Sarah Palin Please Stand Up?

Once again, Tina Fey took on the role of Sarah Palin for a Saturday Night Live sketch. And once again, it was awesome. Tina Fey has Sarah Palin's moves and mannerisms and speech patterns down perfectly. (Really, the only one better than Tina Fey last night was Amy Poehler as Katie Couric. She had the total Katie look and must have worked for quite some time to get the "doe in the headlights" disbelieving, eye blinking down pat. I was convinced that she really thought that Tina Fey was Sarah Palin and that Sarah Palin was crazy. Eh, actually, after hearing the real Katie Couric interview the real Sarah Palin last week, I think we all feel that way, so it probably wasn't that hard to master.)

Fey has said that she wants to "be done playing this woman by Nov. 5". Since the election is on the 4th, I'll let you figure out which candidate Tina Fey supports. (I'll give you a hint. He's not a Muslim.) But if she does decide to stop playing Sarah Palin, there are others who could take over.

Meet Maine TV anchor Cindy Michael. (She's the one on the right.)

Now she, like Tina Fey, bears a striking resemblance to Sarah Palin. So much so that, according to, ever since Grandpa John McCain announced that Palin would be his VP candidate, Michael "has been getting 'hate mail and nasty phone calls' from viewers recently who accuse her of copying the look of Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin." Huh? Did she look like that before anyone other than the residents of Wasilla, the crystal meth capital of Alaska, knew who Sarah Palin was? I'm guessing that she did. Had the people who were taking time out of their busy schedule (from yelling at kids to get off of their lawn) and taking time to write hate mail about Michael's appearance ever seen her newscast before? You'd think that they'd remember something like that. It makes me think that Maine should really be bigger, because obviously people are running out of things to do in such a confined area.

But what I found equally odd was Michael's response to these crazed defenders of Far West Fashion. "It's really just a huge coincidence," Michaels says about the similarity. Well of course it's a coincidence. What in the hell else would it be? A conspiracy? What is that supposed to mean?!

And if it was a conspiracy, it would be a far reaching one, as there are a bunch of other people who resemble Sarah Palin. This must be a popular look these days. Kind of like when half of the country cut their hair to look like Rachel when 'Friends' was on TV. The only difference is that when everyone was sporting the Rachel-do, I noticed. I have yet to notice a massive crowd of Sarah Palin look-alikes. Not even one. I keep thinking that I will (especially at the grocery store because she has sort of a grocery checker look. She'd be the speedy one working the 15 Items or Less line.), but I never do. I must be the only one though, because look at all of the people who are out there who look like Sarah Palin (or who Sarah Palin looks like. Chicken. Egg. You decide.).

One person whom I've never heard of who looks like Sarah Palin is Lisa Loeb, the clandestine folk singer. But there are others who you've actually heard of who would be better at the job than this chick.

There's always Julia Louis-Dreyfus from the Seinfeld days of yore and the "New Adventures of Old Christine" days of now. Julia's been sporting the sexy beehive for years and still looks excellent while doing so. Julia used to be a member of the Saturday Night Live cast as well, so she'd be a fabulous choice to take over in case Tina Fey jumps ship. And she's hot. (That's very important! You'll understand how and why later. When you're older.)

Then there's Gina Gershon of the very steamy and very lesbian-y film Bound. She did a video for the folks over there at Funny or Die where you played Sarah Palin. So she already has experience. AND she's good at kissing other women. (Oh, you know you want that to play a part in this Presidential race some how. Admit it. I have.) She would be another excellent choice.

Some think that Diane Keaton in the film "On Thin Ice" resembles Palin. Others think that those who think Diane Keaton in "On Thin Ice" resembles Palin, are on crack. She doesn't. She does look a step or two away from the part of 'naughty librarian'. But Sarah Palin? Only if the other four I've mentioned get hit by a bus.

But if all five of them were hit by a bus, the last resort would be for Saturday Night Live to just spend five or six minutes showing this cornfield in Ohio where a farmer had a likeness of Sarah Palin carved/stomped into the crops. It's a little scary, but it really does look like her. That has to be a marketable talent for the guy who does that sort of thing. I don't imagine he's going to get rich off of it though. There are definitely a very limited number of cornfields available for one to mash in the likenesses of political candidates. I mean, it's nice and all, but we do need corn.

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