Sunday, September 23, 2012

Born This Weight

So, Lady Gaga has a huge ass these days.  She said that she's gained around 25 pounds.  That seems about right.  And every single one of those pounds has gone straight to her ass.  Here's a comparison for you.  Here she was with a non-ass: 
Looks pretty good.  (Yes, I know the side boob is distracting.  But it was surprisingly difficult to find pictures of Lady Gaga NOT in some sort of weird getup and/or meat suit that showed her lower half.  This was the best I could do. Try and focus, though.  Think of the boob as a bonus! )  And here is the new and enlarged Lady Gaga with an ass the size of Kansas.  Behold! 
Holy cow.  It's like that's the only part of her body that store excess cells!  It's enormous!  And, as you can imagine, the entire world AND the Internet has noticed and has been commenting.  How did Gaga respond to all of this new-found criticism (that isn't likely to sell her more albums like the publicity which masquerades as criticism does)?  She took to the Twitter, of course, and churned out some faux Marilyn Monroe quote.  (Since when did Marilyn Monroe become Confucius?)  First, she went with this tweet: 
And then followed it up with this crap (that Marilyn Monroe did not say, by the way): 
(Before, I go on, I would like to point out that quotes like these, for some reason, seem to really appeal to people who are like hundreds of pounds overweight and use it to justify their current state of obesity.  I don't know why that is, but that's just what happens.  It's annoying.  And again, Marilyn Monroe did not say this.)  See, this is the problem that can occur when you make your living being mostly naked all of the time.  People know what you look like.  They know exactly what you look like.  And they're going to comment when your ass suddenly becomes worthy of its own zip code.  And really, if you're going to make your living by being scantily clothed and by having your act mainly consist of "Look how hot I am", then it's perfectly all right (in my never to be humble opinion) for people to comment on that just the same way that they commented on you before.  The only difference is that you liked the comments before.  Now that you don't like them, they're suddenly not OK.

Here's a thought:  Try putting on some clothes and not flaunting your body every chance you get.  That way, when you do (inevitably) put on a little weight, people won't be so quick to jump all over you.  (And really, looking like she does currently, having anyone jump on her at all isn't likely to happen any time soon.)  They might not even notice.  (OK, granted, in this case that's hard to imagine.  But it could happen in other instances.  Perhaps.)  But to get your shorts all in a wad because people are still focusing on your body (just the way that you wanted them to when you were hot) when you're a little larger is incredibly hypocritical.  And clueless. 

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