Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Yeah, But Can She Sing?

Breaking news about Eliot Spitzer's whore (aka ESW), Ashley Dupre.

According to the witty, witty folks over there at the New York Post, ESW has been "taking steps to get a real music career under way." (As opposed to all of the "fake music careers" that she's had underway before being outed as ESW?) Maybe they just meant music careers without managers. You know, like singing in the shower.

And I, for one, could not be more thrilled and I'll tell you why! This guy was the governor and he just happened to be a fairly popular governor. He was likely to be someone who was going to run for President of the US in the near future. He was a successful and well-liked politician whose career was on the upswing. Things were going his way. But then we started hearing about how his "encounters" with $2000k+ hookers had been discovered as a result of a Federal investigation into the finances of the escort agency (ie, Orifice Space for Rent) that he frequented. And he ended up having to resign as Governor of New York because he was getting a little whore-y with Ashley Dupre. So naturally, as I'm following all of this in the news, the first, the very first thing I thought to myself was, "Wow. I wonder if she can sing?"

WHO CARES?!!? ::::sigh:::: It's just one more sign we're doomed. Doomed, I say.
But if this is
the case, that the secret wants and desires of the American public to have an ex-hooker cut an album are actually true, then it's underway alright! An "insider" has inside-dly told the New York Post that she has "...signed a manager to help guide her career." Her career? As something other than a hooker? Apparently so. It would seem that the hiree in this case would be a one Chris Lighty.

Chris Lighty , aka, ESW's Manager, is the guy behind something called Violator Management. Catchy. But just because you've never heard of it, as I hadn't, that doesn't mean that you haven't heard of some of his clients. And when you hear some of the names of people that he has represented and then you think of him representing ESW, you'll quickly see that it's just a perfect match, really. Here we go:

  • We have Chris Light, the ESW Manager and Grand Poobah of Violator Management:

  • Next we have some of his clients. There's Busta Rhymes:

  • And 50 Cent:

  • And Missy Elliott:

  • And now, to add to that impressive list of clientele, Eliot Spitzer's whore:

Um, wait. One of these things is not like the others.

Good luck with that.

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