Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Minutiae That Is Obama

Good God. Barry isn't even President yet and I'm already SO over hearing about the minutiae of his everyday life. Not only that, could someone please explain to my why the press is acting like Hawaii is some sort of foreign country or far away land that those of us here in the contiguous 48 states have never been to nor heard of? It's bad enough the media thinks that the public in general has an IQ equal to that of a box of hair, but when they start dumbing down the already dumbed down? That's when I start to get a little cranky.

Currently, Barry and the fam are vacationing on Oahu. In case you're new here (and by "here" I mean "this planet"), Oahu is one of the Hawaiian islands. Hawaii (again, in case you're new) is one of the 50 United States of America. Yes! Even though it is all that way across the Pacific Ocean, it really IS one of the United States! Isn't that fas-cinating? The media would seem to think that it is.

Here is one of the photos that seem to be typical of the coverage of Barry in Hawaii. And here is one of the idiotic captions that also seem to be typical. It reads: "US President-elect Barack Obama, in black shirt, waves to a crowd of onlookers after playing golf at Mid Pacific Country Club in Kailua, Hawaii on December 24, 2008." Well, who in the hell else would Barack be in that photo? Any of the folks I've circled there? Probably not. I'm surprised they didn't caption the photo below with: "US President-elect Barack Obama, in White Sox cap, is seen on Wednesday. That's right. Wednesday."

In addition to stating the obvious in photo captions, the media seems to be bent on letting us know way too many details about what Barry is wearing. Well, they don't go as far as 'boxers or briefs', but I can see what the man is wearing. I don't need to read what the man is wearing. But the media seems to think I do need to read about it. " Obama was wearing a casual cream-colored shirt tucked into olive shorts, and sandals." Oh, well, thank God it was tucked in! For cryin' out loud. Frankly, looking at him, reading about him, it doesn't matter which one it is because I don't care what he's wearing. As long as everything that's supposed to be covered up is, I'm good with that. He could give the State of the Union Address wearing a towel and flip-flops for all I care. But if he did, all of the newscasts would be reporting that "President Barack Obama wore a Martha Stewart, olive green, extra fluffy bath sheet around his waist and navy blue flip-flops by Ocean Pacific to address the nation last night. The water he used to take his shower was composed of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. Back to you.")

One thing I have learned from the 24/7 Barry coverage is that when this man is finally sworn in as President, they have got to find that man a caddy. Look at this! Carrying six clubs in one hand? Does the man not have a golf bag? Where are the Secret Service guys? Shouldn't they be doing something about that? (I know their job is to protect him, but what if he trips and falls? He could impale himself and five bystanders with all of those clubs there. The Secret Service should be protecting him from himself!

Whilst in Hawaii, there was a power outage that effected the whole island of Oahu. Nearly all 293,000 residents were without power for about 11 hours, from 7 pm Friday to about 6 am on Saturday. Now, we've all lived through power outages, have we not? You'd think that a power outage was breaking news the way it was covered! "Transition officials would not say if generators had been installed, but an aide said no generators were used and the Obamas spent the evening in the dark." Huh. Funny. That's usually how most of my nights are the dark! When I sleep, it's dark as well! Quick! Stop the presses! It's dark when the Obamas sleep!

But really, the 'shave ice' coverage has got to go. First of all, look, I know it's Hawaii and I know it's hot there. (It's also rather humid.) But these people need to cut back on their "shave ice" consumption a bit. Every other photo I see is of Barry et al eating "shave ice". And maybe this wouldn't bug me so much if every media outlet felt the need to explain what a "shave ice" is with every damn photo of it. In case you've missed it, shave ice is "a local treat made from finely shaved ice and fruit syrup." Yeah, otherwise known over here on the mainland as a freaking Sno-Cone! (Say, instead of telling me what "shave ice" is, how about someone tell me what happened to the "d" at the end of "shaved"! Where did it go and why? When did "shaved ice" become "shave ice"? I did not get that memo.)

Seriously. Here's Barry with some shaved ice from the Koko Marina Shopping Center:

Here's Barry placing his shave ice order at Kokonuts Shave Ice and Snacks.

Here's Barry eating shave ice in August, 2008:

Here, you can see the shave ice actually being spooned into Barry's mouth!

Here's Barry with some green shave ice:

Do you see what I mean? It's ridiculous. (And it's also called a Sno-Cone!!)

This is only going to get worse if someone doesn't put the brakes on it now. When he's actually the President (instead of just doing a really good job of pretending he's the President) we're going to have to hear about every second of every day of every member of his family for the next four, possibly eight, years! From the time that he gets up in the morning (after spending the night sleeping in the dark) to what he has for breakfast, to what he feeds the dog. Oh! The dog! I forgot about the damn dog! There's going to be a dog in the White House and the media just loves a furry domesticated creature. Any kind of domesticated creature, just as long as it's furry as just as long as they can take pictures of the creature being cute with the other creatures; the children.

Maybe instead of all of the useless reporting, perhaps the media could use some of their investigative skills and find out what happened to that "d". Now that would be news I could use!

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