Things like a manufactured fireplace log which bears the label: "Caution - Risk of Fire” OK, it's a fireplace log. I don't want a "risk" of a fire, I want a guaranteed fire! That's why I bought the log! Or a smoke detector label reading: “Do not use the 'Silence' feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire." It won't? Not even if it's a loud fire? Which brand of smoke detector will extinguish a fire via it's 'Silence' feature? Oh, none of them? That's right...because it's stupid. I got it.
My guess is that the majority of these labels are the result of some genius out there (most likely from Flori-duh) actually using the product for the very reason that it now has to warn against. Things like the label on hair dryers that reads: "Never use hair dryer while sleeping." See, now I disagree with that. I would love to see someone use their hair dryer while they are sleeping! Actually, I think it's more that I'd like to see what kind of person would think that would work and in what situation where they'd actually try to do it. THAT would be entertaining, you have to admit. Or what about the labels on irons that read: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn” They put that there just in case you're the hurried, wrinkled type who never seems to find enough time to iron his clothes before putting them on. Good Lord.....
The Whitecaps are no strangers to having "interesting" menu items. In the past, they've sold deep-fried Twinkies and deep-fried Pepsi ("cola-flavored batter dunked in hot oil and drizzled with Pepsi syrup.). A one Scott Lane, the president of the Whitecaps, said that they will "deep-fry just about anything" and that he's currently experimenting with Spam sandwiches. Joy!
And here's where the part that makes me insane comes in. According to the AP, some soft headed dietician at the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine named Susan Levin, sent a letter to the team asking that it be labeled "a "dietary disaster" that increases the risk of cancer and heart disease." Really?!!? I hadn't considered that aspect. Oh, please pipe down!
Apparently, aside from getting bragging rights for the rest of your life if you do manage to eat the entire burger, you also get a T-shirt. On the front is the burger and on the back is the Nutritional Data box. It's not pretty, but it's just another reason why it doesn't need a warning label! The burger contains:
- 4889 calories
- 299.5 grams of fat, 460% of the daily value (DV) (119.2 grams of saturated fat, 597% DV)
- 744.6 grams of cholesterol, 248% DV
- 10887.9 mg of sodium (Holy crap! I mean, 454% DV)
- 354.9 grams of carbohydrates, 118% DV
- 198.7 grams of protein, 105% DV
Fortunately for society in general "Whitecaps spokesman Mickey Graham says the burger is a gimmick that's being promoted as a very unhealthy menu item." There is currently no plan to label the burger. ::::sigh::::: My hero!