Friday, March 27, 2009

Birdnapped!

Gordo, the skateboarding parrot is missing. Correct, missing. Oh, wait. The other part? The parrot and the skateboard? Yeah, I thought that was a little odd, too. Here's the scoop on that:

According to the Whittier Daily News, a one 47-year old Fred Mireles of Baldwin Park reported that his parrot, Gordo, had been stolen out of his cage which was on the porch of Mireles' house at 10:30am on Wednesday. Gordo, a green Malaysian parrot from Guatemala, had been known around town as the parrot who could ride a skateboard. Yes, a skateboard. He learned how to ride the skateboard a couple of years ago while MIreles was recovering from being hit by a car. (Why yes, this is as straightforward and as weird as it sounds. It's hard to sugarcoat something so cut and dried.)

"I almost died about two years back and he helped me." See, according to Mireles, two years ago he was hit by a car and "... part of his rehabilitation was exercise. That's when Mireles made Gordo the mini-skateboard." Of course it was. If part of your rehabilitiation was exercise, the first thing that you'd be inclined to do is to make a little skateboard for your Guatamalan parrot. Makes perfect sense to me. It's the natural chain of events, really.

"It pressed me to walk. (Gordo) was my physical therapist." Does insurance cover that? A skateboarding parrot that moonlights as a physical therapist for a recovering mini-skateboard builder? It probably requires a separate form for sure.


All of the avian rehabbing seems to have gone well as "Mireles would drive in his car with Gordo on his shoulder, take Gordo out mountain biking....The two would take daily walks together." Wait a minute. Mountain biking? How come he isn't Gordo the mountain biking parrot? How does he steer with his wings? He's a bird; they don't have opposable thumbs which would make it extremely difficult to grip anything! I think I'd rather hear about the mountain biking than the skateboard. A skateboard you just stand there. Give him a push and Wwhhheeeee! Down the hill he goes. You can get any animal that you can get to sit still long enough to do that! Yep, I'm definitely no longer impressed by the skateboard, but I am thoroughly intrigued by the mountain biking part. Sadly, that isn't what the article was about, so we're all left hanging. But I digress.

Mireles is clearly upset about the ripping off of his Gordo. He tried to explain it to those of us without a skateboarding parrot by saying, "I'm 47 years old and I don't have a child. (He) was like my kid. I'm devastated." Hey, wait a minute. Remember that lady that had the chimp who ripped off the other woman's face? That woman treated that monkey like a child also. Bubble baths. Hair combing. Champagne before bed. (Yep. A grown woman snuggling up in bed to a buzzed monkey after a couple of glasses of champagne each night. NOT normal.) I certainly hope that Mireles and Gordo weren't sharing champagne before bed each night. (I want to say that I hope that Gordo wasn't combing Mireles' hair, but again, he's a parrot and I'd kind of like to see how that's done. Just for curiosity sake. I'm certainly not advocating any sort of human-bird inter-species relations, that's for sure.)

Truthfully though, it's not looking good for either Mireles or Gordo in regard to Gordo being returned. But Mireles says that there's a better chance of the perpetrator getting caught "...because Gordo is so well-known in the area." On top of that, the birdnapper might have a problem on his hands because ",,,Gordo isn't used to strangers." As Mireles explained, "They are up against a can of worms because once (Gordo) realizes he doesn't belong there, he's going to start biting."

Well, there's nothing worse than being up against....a....can of worms? Right. Because they're all wiggly and dirty and stuff....right? Let's just hope Gordo doesn't mind worms and bites the crap out of the birdnapper so that he can return home and hop on his little skateboard and be tugged around the neighborhood once again. Godspeed, little skateboarding parrot. Godspeed.

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1 comment:

grannyann said...

That's a sad story.