Going Once, Going Twice, Weird!

Michael Jackson is doing 10 shows in London in July and according to him, "This is it. This. Is it. This is it." He's seeming to imply that he's leaving open the possibility to doing more shows at a future date, don't you think? Regardless, it would appear that the man-child is strapped for cash and needs to generate some income. That was the implied reason that I derived from an auction of his personal belongings said to be taking place April 21-25, 2009 in Los Angeles.. After all, he has three children (yes, I, too, shudder at the thought) whom he needs to raise. Blanket and the other two, um, I always forget their names.....oh, Pillowcase and Dust Ruffle, that's right! He has to make sure that they're taken care of! So what better way that to make some quick cash than selling off some of the weird ass stuff that you, as one The King of Pop, have accumulated over the years. (Lifesize mannequin of Macaulay Culkin strangely absent.)

Here are just a few of the many, many items that, for a price, can be yours. Behold!

Here we have some bronzed figures of Michael dressed as a Peter Pan like character. Odd that he would have these. Odder yet is the positions that the characters are in. It's like some sort of medieval torture chamber dipped in bronze.

He seems to have taken that "King of Pop" nickname a bit too seriously, as here are his bejewelled crown and furry and tasseled royal cape. I picture him wearing them around the house, just to lounge in, possibly on Sundays. You know, while doing the dishes with Be-Dazzled rubber gloves as to avoid sequined dishpan hands.

I also picture him wearing them whilst sitting in his red velvet and gold throne and staring into the eyes of the portrait of Prince Michael. Huh.

That he owns the actual scissorhands from the movie Edward Scissorhands does not surprise me. It shouldn't be a shocker to anyone that the man tends to relate to those who find themselves isolated and embroiled deep within their own inner turmoil. That he's giving them up is a bit more of a surprise than that he owns them.

This is the hood of his golf cart, presumably the one that he could have rode around his Neverland ranch, perhaps when he went out to pick up the morning newspaper from the driveway (in the hopes that some store would be advertising where there would be boys pants half off.)

Here we have props and masks from the Moonwalker movie or video or something else that no one other than him saw. Again, the reflections into the tortured soul of a one Michael Jackson.

Now, I played Cops and Robbers too when I was a kid, but not so much as an adult and definitely not as an adult with my own made-to-look-like-a-CHP-motorcycle Harley Davidson. Seriously, can anyone picture MJ actually riding that? Anyone? I didn't think so.

Here is an odd pairing of items Awards from the Michael Jackson album "Bad" and a wood curio with a Peter Pan theme on the front of it. This whole Peter Pan thing is really starting to creep me out right about now. Did no one that was close to him ever sit him down and just say, "Mike! Snap out of it!" Apparently not. That's unfortunate.

Michael apparently felt it was important that he leave his mark everywhere or that he made such an impression upon everyone that he encountered that they couldn't help but take on some of his trademark traits. Does he see himself in all of these figures, I wonder, or does he see all of these figures in himself? And it's such an unlikely grouping of characters. Two American Presidents, one genius, one fictional (and very lonely) space alien and a portrait of a mystery woman. And all with sunglasses and Be-Dazzled glove. Odd. Very, very odd.

Ever wonder if you have too much money? Here's a good way to tell: If you start having gold and silver heads made that are supposed to resemble your own head, that's a good indicator right there! Seriously, what the hell?? Behold!

Below is his Rolls Royce limo that made me think I had stumbled onto a little corner of normalcy in his life when I saw it. It seems normal. On the outside.

But on the inside? Um, well....Behold!

What the hell is that? Did he buy this limo used from Liberace? Why is it like that? How could you relax in there with all of that....that.....that going on around you? I, for one, could not.

So there you have it. Secure your place in line now. Many, many more items await your desire! (ugh.)

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