Thursday, October 30, 2008

What's The Heck Is Wrong With Florida?

I used to think of Florida as a relatively happy place. Lots of beaches, the Magic Kingdom, the occasional hurricane that would reap a path of destruction which left only heart warming stories of the will of the people to come together as one and rebuild their lives...bigger...stronger....faster. Oh, wait, that's the 6 Million Dollar Man who did that. Never mind. But the beaches and the Magic Kingdom are happy things. But I don't think of it that way anymore. Now I think of Florida as a breeding ground and commune for the idiotic, the moronic and the dim- to slow-witted individual in general. If you hear a news story where you cannot believe that the people that the story is about would actually do/say/think whatever it was that was newsworthy, 9 times out of 10 it originates in Florida.

Let's begin with the overall intelligence of those residing in Florida who actually believe that they have the mental capacity to vote in an election. Remember, these are people just like you and me and the rest of the country's registered voters who are determining who our next President will be. The folks over there at The New Republic bring us the results of a poll which asked people who have already voted if they went with Barry or Grandpa John McCain. The results:

  • John McCain - 49%

  • Barry - 45%

  • Don't Know- 6%

Wait. SIX PERCENT of people who have already voted DON'T KNOW who they voted for?! WTF, Florida? WTF?

Meanwhile, over there at the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, we learn that the Florida voting rolls have some interesting individuals who are registered to vote. People like Mattie Lee Blitch who has been dead for 23 years. People like Brent Ackerman who is registered three times in two counties. And a two fer, Joseph Muro, a convicted felon who just signed up to vote. Naturally, he did so from a state mental institution for the criminally insane.

When the Sun-Sentinel looked into this matter, they found 65,000 ineligible voters and duplicate voters that were on the rolls. That includes "at least 600 dead people, 32,000 voters registered more than once and more than 33,000 convicted felons ." Some of those felons reside at the Florida Civil Commitment Center "a psychiatric lockup for pedophiles and rapists". In other news, there is a psychiatric lockup for pedophiles and rapists in Florida. (And it's not the faculty room at the Florida high schools.)

Nice job there, Florida. Dead voters, repeated voters, felonious voters, and idiotic voters who don't know who they already voted for. Yep, definitely a haven for the dense and challenged.

But then we have a story appearing in First Coast News about a one Robert Crews who, instead of showing up in court to be sentenced on a Federal gun charge, decided he would leave a fake suicide note in his truck (to throw police off of his trail), go to a home at 3am, stab his wife in the neck and then return to his home, but not before running his vehicle into several others along the way. The guy was already on parole and had a GPS ankle bracelet (designed to "restrict activities", it says. It sure didn't "restrict" a lot of this guys "activities", from what I can tell.), but it's OK that he was out because his curfew was lifted two nights of the week so that he could go fishing! Fishing, as you may or may not be aware, is key in lowering the recidivism rates of those on parole. And if you believe that then, as you may or may not be aware, you'll also remember that I am the Queen of all of England!

And here is Mr. Crews mug shot. It really answers any questions one might have, but it also provides you with a pictorial of what I'm envisioning a typical Florida resident to look like. I can't imagine the voters who already voted and didn't know who they voted for looking much different. Behold! A moronic Floridian!


When I first saw this photo, I thought that he looked kind of familiar. Not like someone I knew personally, but someone I was familiar with. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I got up to get myself a cookie. Then it hit me.

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