Thursday, October 2, 2008

Vice Presidential Debates And Parlor Games

Oooh, oooh, oooh! Just in time! Plenty of time before the debate tonight to get in on this one. Finally! Someone has come up with a way to, at the very least, help people to try to focus on what is being said during the debate. Let's face it, most politicians? Windbags. Old, boring, pasty white windbags. And what do windbags do best? That's right, they blow wind. Cliche filled wind, usually. "Would that it were." "The war in Iraq." "Weapons of mass destruction." "Is it over yet?" OK, that last one was mine, but you know what I mean.

The folks (or folk, really. I know nothing about them and the site only popped up a few days ago from what I can tell, and that's not very much either.) over at Palin Bingo have come up with a grand idea to keep people interested in the debate without having to get face-planted drunk via some collegiate drinking game format. The guys over at Times of the Internet say that "Palin Bingo is the latest craze to the sweep the Internet. Trundle on over to the new Palin Bingo website in order to learn the rules to play yourself." And so I did just that. It was exciting. I'd never trundled before.


The concept and the rules are simple (as the term "bingo" would imply already). Each player receives their own Palin Bingo card. Instead of the usual bingo numbers, the Palin Bingo card is filled with terms that it is assumed she is likely to utter at some point during the debate. Whenever the Governor of Alaska (that would be Sarah Palin for those of you who are new to consciousness) says one of those words or phrases, you mark off that box. Get five in a row going up or down, across or diagonal, and you win!


They even included a center space that you get to check off automatically. But instead of calling it the 'FREE' space like in traditional bingo (because really, nothing having to do with any politician is ever 'free'), they call it the 'Air Space'. I don't know if that's supposed to be a play on the term 'Air Head', but it is clever. And there's a lovely picture of Sarah Palin right there in the Air Space. You know, just in case you forget who you're supposed to be listening to. Or to give you something pleasant to look at when Joe Biden is speaking.

And if you'd like to see more words or phrases added to these cards, they even provide you with a blank Palin Bingo card so that you can make your own! So I did. Because I started thinking about it and if you've seen Tina Fey do Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, you know that the similarity in their appearance is remarkable. And if you've seen Tina Fey do Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, you know that the similarity in their speaking ability is almost zero. What if they try and substitute Sarah Palin with Tina Fey? (You know, sort of a last ditch effort for something. I don't know what exactly. I hadn't thought my hair brained conspiracy theory out that far. But it would be funny! I did think of that!) You're still going to want to play bingo, aren't you? Of course you are. So I came up with a bingo card just in case Tina Fey gets slipped into the mix some how. (And if Sarah Palin utters any of the items on my card, it's going to be a hellaciously amusing four years in the White House if her and McCain get elected.)


Those guys thought of everything. How come I'm not thinking of things like this? Oh. Right. Too busy wiping up drool. Got it.


Anything that can keep people watching something that has the potential to be informative in regard to their decision at the polls in November is a good thing. If it still doesn't do it for you, then by all means, add some alcohol to the mix. Because really, being drunk around election time? Not so bad. Being drunk when it's not election time? Still not so bad.


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