And really, can you blame the politicians? First of all, no one ever lost an election by underestimating the intelligence of the American people. And second, this is a country who elected a man named Tricky Dick. Twice.
- His name isn't Joe. That's right. It's Samuel. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher. And he goes by "Joe". The horror! How is that a big deal to anyone? Do those folks not understand the concept of the middle name in and of itself? The middle name is specifically for naming your children in a way that either a) Allows you to name them after a person who you like, but who's name you don't, and never have to call them by that name, or b) Allows you to name them with a name you do like (at least better than the first name) so that you can call them by that and not the name you don't like. It's an out, is what it is. Gotta name your boy after Uncle Sherman? Miles Sherman Jones it is! Gotta name your daughter after Auntie Mergatroid? That's when your baby girl becomes M. Hannah Jones. Sherman and Mergatroid live happily ever after and so do your children.
- He's not a plumber. That's right. He does plumbing, but he's not a plumber. He's a plumber's apprentice. (Oh, good Lord. Potato, potatoh. Whatever.) Apparently that's a sticking point if you're the New York Times. Look, the point is, he has a job. Actually, no, that's not the point. The point is that he asked a valid question. It doesn't matter if he's a naked fire juggler (OK, it matters a little bit, because I'd really like to see someone doing that and asking a candidate a question! But I digress.), the question was perfectly valid. And Barry, as Barry is known to do ("known" to those of us who pay attention to what he says whilst others are swooning at being in the very presence of said Messiah.) he just skirted around the issue and made it sound like a good thing. And I'm sure it is good. If you're not the one getting stuck with higher taxes.
- He wasn't really about to buy a plumbing business. Not tomorrow anyway. It's something he's been thinking about and I for one am shocked, just shocked, that someone would put an ounce of thought into their plan to see how taxes would figure in when they want to purchase, start up and open their own business. Shocking, I tell you! I guess he should just not ask questions like that and then, after he's all opened up (through the borrowing of capital) and realizes he can't afford the run the business with it's higher taxes, just declares bankruptcy or whatever and closes down and calls it a loss. What a novel idea. Look, if he wanted to do something like that he would have gotten into a sub-prime mortgage and bought a mansion in the foothills.
- He owes taxes. The New York Times article tells us that, "According to public records, Mr. Wurzelbacher has been subject to two liens, each over $1,100. One, with a hospital, has been settled, but a tax lien with the State of Ohio is still outstanding." I do not know the significance of "each over $1,100." Who cares? But here's what I really don't get: Why hasn't McCain jumped on this? Why hasn't he said that Joe the Plumber and people like Joe (even those without their occupation after their name) are concerned about what Barry's plan is going to do to their taxes because they can't even pay the ones they have now (apparently). Why have I not heard that? What? Because he owes taxes he can't ask if his taxes are going to be higher under a particular candidates plan? Spare me. It might make his question even more valid.
But do you hear anyone other than myself complaining about this coverage? Well, other than myself and Joe the Plumber? No, of course not. And that's because no one ever won an election by underestimating the intelligence of the American voter, that is correct. Excellent points to seize on and where is McCain? I don't know, maybe trying to decide which Early Bird Special to have? McCain is losing and he's losing by more and more every second. If he doesn't stop watching surfing cat videos on YouTube or whatever he's spending his time doing and start blathering about things that make a difference to regular people, he's going to continue to lose all the way up until he's lost the election. When he's out there talking to the throngs of senior citizens who gave up their shuffleboard games for the day to listen to him speak, he needs to talk to them and answer their questions as if he's talking to Joe the Plumber and answering his question.
Explain socialism. Explain how spreading the wealth is not always good. Go all Ross Perot if you have to and break out some charts! (Hey, that might sound kind of nutty, but that little jug-eared lunatic garnered 19% of the vote in 1992. Charts are good. Talk to us like we're five...only don't bend down. We're right here!) Use Joe the Plumber to your advantage. Pull up those saggy pants and hide that crack so people can start focusing on what the real question was and what the real issue is rather than the distraction (ie, the crack). Because while the distractions are fun at first, after it's over, you kind of feel like you need a shower. Just like after seeing the crack.