Friday, October 30, 2009

America's Funniest Governor


Arnold Schwarzenegger seems to enjoy being Governor of California, but mainly because it gives him a platform from which to tell jokes. Look, he had all of these lofty ideas when he took office, but wasn't able to accomplish the majority of them. While I'm sure that was frustrating for him, I'm afraid that it was frustrating for the wrong reasons. I fear that the main problem he had with not being able to achieve what he wanted to wasn't so much the lack of achievement as much as it was the decline in his popularity.

If there is one thing that the Governator likes, it is to be liked. And the only thing that he likes more than that is to get a laugh out of folks. Whether it be a calculated joke, an off the wall comment or even a prank, Arnold likes to make people yuk it up.

The Governator is aware that there is only so much that he can do. He is also aware that the Legislature for the state of California is absolutely pathetic. According to the latest Field Poll, the California Legislature had a 13% approval rating. 13%. My question to that thirteen percent is: What are your standards, exactly? How can you approve of anything those ass clowns are doing up there in Sacramento? Are you staffers of the Legislature? Blood relatives? How can you approve of their job performance?

Seriously? Maybe they don't know about some of the abhorrent behavior exhibited by some of these elected morons. Let's take a one Tom Ammiano who, at the San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee Gala, began shouting "No, no, no, no!!!!! You lie!!!" and "Kiss my gay ass!!!!" among other colorful phrases when the Governator got up to speak. That according to a one Beth Spotswood over yonder at SF Appeal. (Beth's piece, by the way, is awesome. Hilarious, yet surprisingly informative. I would highly recommend giving it a read.) Seriously, dude? "Kiss my gay ass"? You're comfortable, not only shouting that (in San Francisco, none the less. Talk about livin' on the wild side.), but shouting it at the Governor? Apparently, general respect for each other as human beings has completely bypassed Mr. Ammiano (and his gay ass).

Back to our funny, funny Governor. When the Governator vetoes a bill, he tends to include a little explanation as to why he did so. Arnold is so fed up with the Legislature at this point, it's a wonder he hasn't just sent every veto back with a bullet hole right through the middle of the failed legislation. But see, a bullet hole just wouldn't be funny. Well, not funny enough for Arnold. And it's too blatant. Subtle humor is some of the funniest humor.

When vetoing AB1176 which was sponsored by the aforementioned, looking-for-a-date-for-his-ass Mr. Ammiano, The Governator sent along this veto.


Seems innocuous enough, doesn't it? Not so fast. It seems as though Arnold, in a way that can only be described as sophomoric, yet brilliant (not to mention overdue and oh-so deserved), managed to include another little message which one could assume was directed toward Mr. Ammiano. That sentiment? Behold!

According to The Huffington Post, when this was brought to the attention of Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear his response was, "My goodness. What a coincidence." What a coincidence indeed! And what a most excellent response. "I suppose when you do so many vetoes, something like this is bound to happen." (Translation: "I suppose when you tell the Governor to kiss your gay ass, having him tell you to eff off is bound to happen. You're lucky you didn't get punched inside out, sir.")

Stay in school, kids! You can't have this kind of fun without a vast and solid vocabulary to work with!

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