Tuesday, October 6, 2009

That's a BIG Lap

I know I just harped on the folks who were inexplicably stunned by Chicago's failure to win their bid to be host city for the 2016 Summer Olympics (because when you think "summer", don't you think "Chicago"? What? No? OK then. Back to you.). But I want to explain just a couple of things about what may have gone wrong. I'd also like to point out why those folks who seem to be gloating and, yes, even happy that Chicago didn't get the Olympics are seeming that way. Oh, don't get me wrong. They're gloating all right. But it's not because they want America to fail, so if you're one of those pinheads who thinks that, just pipe down and start readin'.

So Michelle Obama goes to Copenhagen for chewing tobacco to make a pitch for the Olympics. Now, I kind of foresaw disaster when I heard Valerie Jarrett, a senior adviser to President Barry, say regarding Michelle Obama's pitch to the IOC There won’t be a dry eye in the room." And while that may be true (it is allergy season in some parts of the world), perhaps the question should have been raised as to whether or not there would have been an empty wallet. Oh, come on! It's not like the IOC has stopped taking bribes! They're just more careful about it now, that's all! And I totally knew it would be ineffective when Valerie Jarrett added, "I’m sure that it will touch the hearts of each of the IOC members.”

First of all, you shouldn't touch anyone without asking them first. Second, the Olympics before they happen aren't really a touchy feely sort of event, you know what I mean? Oh, sure, after someone has done something great, then we're all weepy-eyed and sentimental for five minutes or so. Then we talk about how amazing it is that they were able to win that gold medal even after having a life where they grew up having to walk to school every day. And it was uphill. Both ways. But that feeling goes away right around the time the photo of them smoking pot out of a bong appears on the News of the World website. Sometimes sooner. My point is that it's not about touching hearts. It's about getting people fired up!

And Michelle gave a fine speech, but not if she were trying to win the Olympics. It was a fabulous speech if she were trying to pitch her idea for a Lifetime Movie of the Week, though. Listen, it seems to me that the Obama administration has grossly overestimated the stupidity of the world. Don't get me wrong. It's almost impossible to overestimate the softheadedness of those in America. Rarely does that happen. But the rest of the world isn't constantly searching for a cause to rally behind. And that was the problem here.

She talked about growing up on the south side of Chicago, which really isn't as crime ridden as folks are led and swayed to believe. It's actually rather varied and diverse. Oh, there's crime all right. Do I think that Michelle Obama grew up in the crime ridden lands of south Chicago? No, I don't. Do I know if she did or not? No. I don't. Pure speculation is all I'm doing here. (At least I'm honest.)

She talked about how the Olympics inspired her. Behold! The face of the inspired!

Wow. Could you imagine how she would have looked if she were uninspired? (Probably like the IOC judges, I'd imagine.) Let's see if we can imagine it. Behold!

All she really did was talk about herself. And she did it in that way where it was as if she was waiting for the "oohs" and the "aahs" and the ridiculous intermittent spurts of applause that are always bursting from her audiences at the end of every sentence. Was she sincere about everything? I don't know, but I kind of doubt it and here's why: She made an odd statement about her memories of sitting on her father's lap and watching the Olympics. Specifically, she recalled memories about certain athletes that she remembered watching compete while she was sitting on her father's lap. She recalled watching Nadia (Comaneci)....

...Olga (Korbut)...

...Carl Lewis...

Wait. What?

Carl Lewis? But....but...he was....he was in the Olympics in....when? 1984? WHAT?!?! Computer, when was Michelle Obama born? 1964?? Um, sooooo....uh, she was...twenty? Sitting on her Dad's lap? Watching the Olympics? For reals? I doubt it. Oh, please. Do you not believe that she said that? I didn't. Behold!

Yeah, OK then. Wow. You know, she also talked about her Dad who died of MS in 1999 and how proud he would have been to have the Olympics in his town of Chicago. I don't know about you, but I don't like it when people play the Dead Parent Card (that's right, the ol' DPC) for something that had never happened when they were alive. It really bugs me. I'm OK with the reminiscing about how much the deceased would have enjoyed a current activity that they enjoyed when they were predeceased. But bringing up how much the deceased would have liked something that they never engaged in whence they were kickin' it? Knock it off. I don't like being played for a sap and I'd imagine that the IOC doesn't either. (Then again, I think a lot of President Barry's getting elected was based on playing the voters for saps, so I understand that they're just going with what worked in the recent past for them, but they seemed to have forgotten that it wasn't an international election that got him elected Grand Poobah of the United States.)

(Side note: By the way, before I go on with the rest of this, here's a pic of Nadia Comaneci these days. Just because. What country was she from? Romania? Do they all look like this over there in Romania? If they do, we need to find out what they eat and grow it here. Now!)

When you hear that some folks are "happy" that "America failed", please kick those people in the shins. Hard. (You might have to run really fast after you do that, so make sure you're in fairly decent shape before you go around crushing people's tibias.) These people aren't "happy" that "America failed". Some are "happy" because Chicago is already in debt and the Olympics would likely bring more debt. But the ones that seem "happy" that "America failed" are not cheering on the doom of America. It's more like when Nelson on The Simpsons says "Ha-HA!" in that irritating high-pitched, Eddie-Haskel-on-female-hormones voice that he has. When someone swaggers in and thinks that they can just charm the pants off of someone else for no other reason than they are who they think they are? That person is annoying and people don't like that person. People might kiss that person's ass to their face, but that doesn't change the level of annoyance that other people have at that jackass's self-righteousness. The Obama administration has been rolling in their own self-righteousness since they won the election. That whole "Because I won, that's why" act that they've had since last November is getting old. And NOT getting the Olympics is a definitive statement that "You can't have everything that you want for the sole reason that you're you". The administration can ignore all of the other "failures" that they've had so far by just not talking about them or by spinning them to look like they're in their favor. It's really hard to spin not getting the Olympics in a way that people still think that they got something out of the deal.

President Barry and his wife had no business going over to Copenhagen and trying to smile their way into winning an Olympic bid. None. If he's going to do it for Chicago, I would certainly hope that he plans on doing it for any other city in the US if they bid for the Olympics when he's in office. After all, he's not even from Chicago. He's from Kenya. (Oh, I kid! I KID!!! He IS a US citizen! I swear! I kid!! I KID!!)

According to Michelle Malkin, this little ego trip that President Barry and Michelle Obama took over there to Copenhagen didn't come cheap. According to her website, "A 2006 congressional study pegged the cost of flying Air Force One at $56,518 an hour. The Pentagon recently said it cost $100,219 an hour to fly the huge, reconfigured Boeing 747 without Obama aboard. The Pentagon estimate included more costs for support needs, such as maintenance." My only question about those figures is the part about flying the plane without President Barry aboard it. Um, why would that be? That's the only reason for the plane right? To fly his ass around? If he's not on it, why is it in the air? Oh, right. Photo ops in front of the Statue of Liberty. I forgot.

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1 comment:

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