Friday, November 16, 2012

That's Not Food

Here we go again.  Once again, a restaurant is making a name for itself (or at least, whoring itself out temporarily while its name gets in the news for a couple of days) by coming up with an outrageous food offering.  I've talked about this sort of stunt before and how absolutely asinine it is because usually the item that is being offered has very little to do with food.  Like the hot fudge sundae that is topped with gold shavings.  OK, while I realize that gold is expensive and having that on your hot fudge sundae would increase the price, that shouldn't count as an expensive food because (now stick with me here) gold isn't a freaking food!  And along those same lines, now we have a restaurant called Le Castagne that is serving up a $26,000 truffle dinner. 

According to the Huffington Post, this is a $26,000 truffle dinner for four that does not include tip. What does one get for $26,000? Well, for starters, you get a bunch of unpronounceable food items that I had to look up to figure out what they were. You also get a ridiculous amount of food that you would never have all together if you were eating a normal dinner like a normal person.  It includes a fillet of dover sole stuffed with scallop, beef tartare with marinated pioppini mushrooms, shaved parmesan cheese, quail egg, and white truffle ricotta mousse, shrimp mousse and black truffle beurre blanc, an entire rack of veal with roasted baby potatoes, turnips, bacon, parmesan and shaved white truffle (of course) and a roasted quail with, among other things, something called guanciale (Sound fancy?  It's bacon.  OK, it's bacon made from a pig's cheek instead of a pig's belly.  But the bottom line is that it's still bacon.)  So veal, beef, fish and quail.  Yeah, those are three things that you always see on your plate at the same time.  Are you just supposed to take one bite from each and then wait for the next thing to show up?  What if you really like it?  Can you tell them "I'm really digging this veal.  Hows about you take this raw beef thing with the quail egg plopped in it and bring me more of this veal?" 


You also get some creamy polenta, wild mushrooms, pancetta and shaved white truffles, a puree of pumpkin soup, faro almonds, pumpkin oil and white truffles, a milanese style egg (Lord only knows what that consists of), truffle bread crumb, spinach, roasted cherry tomatoes, truffle vinaigrette and humboldt fog goat cheese and, of course, some tagliatelle con tartufi bianchi pasta with parmesan cheese sauce and white shaved truffle.  (That's fancy pants talk for "spaghetti with mushrooms".)  Dessert is chocolate lava cake with truffle ricotta gelato and honey.  (That does not sound good.)  But wait!  There's more! 

Now, this is supposed to be a meal for four people.  That doesn't change the fact that $26,000 is still ridiculous.  If you were feeding a thousand people for that much money, it might be worth it.  But four people?  Not a chance.  But here's where it goes from plain old expensive to just downright ridiculous.  The meal comes with a watch.  That's right.  A timepiece!  And not just any old timepiece.  No, it's a 47mm Panerai Luminor Submersible 1950 Amagnetic 3 Days Automatic Titanio watch that goes for around $11,000.  And that's all fine and good, but it shouldn't count toward what constitutes an expensive dinner! 



And the dinner is for four people, but there's only one watch included.  How does that work?  I'd be pretty peeved if I had to sit through  a meal like this and someone else got the watch.  What if we were all going Dutch?  Then what?  Why aren't there four watches involved?  That would kick the price up by another $33,000 and make it seem even more outrageous and wild!  Why do you get a watch with your dinner?  Why would you want a watch with your dinner?  Isn't that just a little strange?  Of course it is.  But what's even stranger is that these little expensive meal promotions keep happening and everyone acts like the price of the meal is just for food.  It's not!  A watch isn't food!  Stop putting non-food things with dinner!  It doesn't make any sense!

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