Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Got Milk?

Planking.  Owling.  Coning.  You remember all of those brilliant Internet crazes, right?  Well there's another idiotic one to add to the already idiotic list.  Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome, milking to the mix!  Hi, milking! 

If you think that anything other than actual milking (as in cows) that is called milking sounds stupid (a word which I do not use lightly) then you would be correct.  See, when I first heard about it, I thought that it would be people pretending to milk things.  I actually kind of really wish that that's what it was.  But it isn't.  No, instead it's simply people pouring milk over their head.  Wait.  What now? 

Correct.  It's just what I said.  And people love it.  According to The Daily Mail, the video has amassed over 30,000 views in a week. And with stories like this one only bringing more attention to the matter, it's bound to have more shortly.   Not only will it have more views, it will have more people participating in the public wasting of milk and the soiling of clothing.  All for...I'm not sure. 

Somehow, it would seem that we have regressed back to the days of the 1920s when people did things like eat goldfish. But that was during the Depression when people either needed food or entertainment!  We have many, many other forms of entertainment available these days.  Have these blokes never seen the Internet (and the many, many varieties of porn available)?  That aside, I can just hear it now.  Many moons in the future when these fine lads are heard asking, "Dad, why don't I have a job?"  "Well, son...it isn't helping things that all of your prospective employers first impression of you when they go the ol' Google is you pouring milk over your head." 

Should I be happy that they're not doing drugs at least?  I suppose I should, but I'm really not.  Seriously, if they're this enthralled by pouring milk all over themselves, can you imagine what's going to happen if they're ever offered heroin?  I mean, they really seem to enjoy pouring milk over their head.  And I've heard heroin feels pretty good.  I'm guessing (having neither done either one) that heroin feels better than the milk pouring.  They'll be homeless on the street within an hour of that.  OK, I'm probably exaggerating just a bit, but only about the heroin.  See for yourself a video of them and all of their milky glory below. 

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