Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Poor Person Picks

I don't know how relevant Time's Person of the Year award/moniker ever really was, but I can tell you how relevant it is now.  That answer would be 'not at all'.  I don't know what in the world has happened over there at Time for them to come up with some of the nominees that they have, but I know that their current list makes me want to boycott anything to do with Time, including watches and clocks. 

Let's review some of the past winners.  There was the likes of Charles Lindbergh, Mahatma Gandhi, Franklin Roosevelt (twice!), Adolf Hitler, Winston Churchill (twice!), Josef Stalin (twice!) and Dwight D. Eisenhower (twice!).  There was John F. Kennedy, the Apollo 8 astronauts, Martin Luther King, Jr., Richard Nixon (twice!), Wallis Simpson and Walter Chrysler.  There was Nikita Khrushchev, John Foster Dulles, Chiang Kai-shek, Soong May-ling and Ronald Reagan.   I could go on (they've been doing this since 1927), but I think that you get the point.  Now let's look at some of the nominees for Person of the Year for 2012. 

I'm going to start with the good because it's a short list.  President Barry is on the list.  That's reasonable and expected.  That's it.  (I told you it was short.)  Now, onto the bad! 

For Person of the Year, Person of the freaking Year, the nominees are...

Jay-Z  (Good Lord.  Nothing against Jay-Z, but there is no way that guy gets to be Person of the Year.  Sure, he's a big name in music.  He moved the Nets to Brooklyn.  He pro-created with Beyonce.  But those things don't matter in the grand scheme of things (unless you're Beyonce). 

 PSY  (Again, I say, good Lord.  This is the South Korean dude who is responsible for Gangham Style.  I realize that it's the most viewed video on YouTube ever.  But I think that says more about the people who are watching the video as opposed to the person in the video.  People are dumb.  They'll watch anything.  That doesn't mean you get to be Person of the Year because your target audience is idiots.) 

Pussy Riot.  (This is the Russian girl band who was jailed for playing their loud and irreverent music in a church.  That's a no-no in Russia.  But really, have you heard their music?  It's abhorrent.  It makes me want to kill myself and not in a good way.  Should they be in jail?  No.  Should they be Person of the Year because of this?  Hell no.) 

Michael Bloomberg  (OK, so some softhead wants the government to control everything that you do because you might not be able to do it correctly and he gets nominated for Person of the Year?  If he wins, we're doomed.  To think that someone who advocated (and managed to enact) a law that restricts the size of soda that a person is able to consume could be voted what is essentially the most influential person of the year is frightening.) 

Gabrielle Douglas  (Oh, come on!  This is a joke, right?  She's a gymnast, right?  How on earth does that qualify someone to be Person of the Year?  Did Khrushchev need a balance beam or uneven bars to qualify?  I don't think that he did!  She's a lovely young lady and I really like her.  But she is not a Person of the Year commodity.) 

And the one that sent me over the edge, Sandra Fluke  (The woman who thinks that people shouldn't have a little personal responsibility and pay for their own freaking birth control? Person of the Year??  You have got to be kidding me!!  She hasn't done anything except for bitch!  Let's not forget that her name is pronounced "Fluck".  As in Fluke you.) 

This is where we're at.  We've gone from people who are presidents and astronauts (and, in some cases, homicidal dictators) to jumpy gymnasts, socialist activists and South Korean pop stars!  We're doomed, I tell you.  Completely and utterly doomed. 

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