Thursday, June 11, 2009

Toffee Coffee, Willy Nilly, Bad Ad

You know how when you watch, say, a TV commercial 10, 15, 20 years after it was made (God bless those YouTube guys), it just looks ridiculous and you wonder what we were ever thinking at the time. Because you know that at the time, that was just the coolest thing ever. But years later, what our parents always knew was confirmed. We were idiots.

But I'm thinking that Wendy's has decided that 10, 15, even 20 years is too long to wait. They have, apparently, decided to make a commercial that would immediately be an embarrassment to those who were 'starring' in it. They've decided to make a commercial that would immediately make the viewers think, "What the hell are they doing? Stop winking at me."

Apparently Wendy's has a new Frosty out. Now I've never been a HUGE fan of the Frosty, until I learned how to dunk French fries into said chocolate Frosty. Scrum-diddily-umptous is what that is. But then Wendy's decided to do the most obvious thing with the plain ol' chocolate Frosty and that would be to add things to it! I'm not talking like new furniture or anything like that, I'm talking things like crushed Oreos and the like thereof. Yum. Yum. And once again, yum.

But the new Frosty is something called a Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty. All right. Sounds good. I can get behind that. What I can't get behind is the commercial for it. Wanna Get Frosty? Um, no. Not like that I don't. Behold!

Oh, what the hell was that? My time machine works! We've entered the future! We've instantly realized that is the most ridiculous thing we've ever seen as a medium in order to (and stay with me here) convince someone to buy a product! That's right. It's encouraging us to do something!! It's not trying to create an aversion to something! No! It wants our support!

To semi-quote, if not directly borrow from, my favorite penguin, Opus, "It was bad. Bad acting. Bad directing. Bad dialogue. It was bad." Hmm. And to directly quote my favorite penguin, Opus, "OK, maybe it wasn't that bad, but Lord, it wasn't good."

I find the beginning where the chap who appears to be Indian (the country, not the Native American) suddenly starts speaking with a Hispanic accent. It's kind of like Cheech Marin meets Miami Vice. Either that or Cheech Marin auditions for the part of Mr. Rourke on Fantasy Island. Of course, he doesn't start speaking with his Hispanic accent until after he's changed from Office Worker Guy into Coffee Break Guy. In the world of Wendy's it is apparently very important that one be dressed in all white and don a newsies cap before indulging in the caffeinated beverage break du jour.

Then there's the dude that must be one of the offspring from Screech from Saved by the Bell. Let's just hope that dude turns out a little bit better in life than ol' Screech (aka Dustin Diamond) did.

There's some fairly insignificant dude that's filling the role of the Usher wanna be. I'm not sure why anyone would want to be Usher, but then again, I'm also not sure why anyone would want to be a blogger, so go figure.

I'm sort of leaning towards the main guy trying to be all Ashton Kutcher-y, but what the guy didn't take into consideration is that Ashton Kutcher, who never appeared in a Frosty music video commercial, has Demi Moore as his wife. Commercial dude might never get laid again once this becomes more mainstream. But he's definitely either Ashton Kutcher or Pete Wentz. Flip a coin. Either way will come out a winner.

The whole commercial is like a throwback to the 80s videos with 90s music and yet it was made in 2009 and wants us to buy a Frosty. So odd. The thing about 80s videos is that we didn't care what they looked like. They were new and they were music-y. That's why Journey's "Separate Ways" is filmed in a construction yard and we found it perfectly acceptable and in no way ridiculous for a guy to be playing his guitar atop a forklift. Totally normal. I'm not so sure that we care so much what things look like now, but I would like to think that we're a bit more evolved that we don't really want things that earn themselves the "What the hell were they thinking?" label right off the bat. Are we that pressed for time that we can't wait a decade or so to poke fun of those trying to get their break in show biz by doing a cheesy commercial?

If we are that pressed for time, I think I'd better try one of those Frosty's before my schedule becomes even more full. I'm not sure if I like the commercial, but I'm fairly certain that frozen treat is a winner. I'll let you know.

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