Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's Now News, But It's All They've Got

I am aware that there is turmoil swirling about the planet at the moment, but you might want to (I can't believe I'm saying this) turn to Twitter or something equally as unthinkable if you're looking for news updates on just about anything. And when I say "news updates" I mean just that. Updates on the news. Hence the term! It was bad enough that CNN was leading with the story about how some people were caught off guard by the transition from analog TV signals to digital TV signals. And the story was not about what you'd expect it to be about and that would be that anyone who did NOT know that change over was occurring (even though it's been shouted to the general public for SEVEN years) is such a complete moron they really shouldn't even attempt to get themselves upright each day. That's what that story should have been about. But no, CNN went with the "they're unable to watch TV" with the general tone being that of general grief and sorrow. You know, the 'something horrible has just happened' voice/tone which gets used most often when something horrible has not happened. But the media is taking it to a whole new level now.

"Now" being the time in which President Barry is our President. First of all, am I the only one that has noticed that as soon as it was clear that he had won the election, suddenly he is our "first black President". The half of him that is white? Gone! Vanished! Disappeared faster than John McCain! (Too bad it didn't pattern itself after Sarah Palin, otherwise President Barry's whiteness would still be in the news...for some inexplicable reason.) He's half white! And yes, that's still how I refer to him. Our first half white President. It doesn't go over well, but I find it hil-arious every time I get to throw it into an appropriate conversation.

Phil Bronstein, the ex-Mr. Sharon Stone and Executive VP and Editor-

at-Large (whatever the heck that is) of the San Francisco Chronicle, wrote a piece titled "Love or Lust, Obama and the Fawning Press Need to Get a Room" which basically states that the press is acting more like President Barry's fan club than the neutral reporters that they are supposed to be. This is coming from a guy who is the VP of the SF Chronicle. The Chronicle doesn't report with what I would consider to be a conservative point of view. No, they're skewed just "a bit liberal", but in the same way that San Francisco is "a bit gay", which is to say very. So if the media guys on the left are noticing (and complaining!) that the press is just a little bit too chummy with President Barry, it really must be over the top (and San Francisco folks in general have a pretty high tolerance in a lot of cases for what qualifies as 'over the top'.).

You can read his article over yonder there at The Huffington Post. Whilst I was perusing it, I ran across the clip below from what Bronstein called "Living Large With the Top Dog" (and he wasn't referring to Bo). In the clip, President Barry is having a little sit down with Brian Williams from NBC. Let's just think about all of the things in an exclusive interview that a reporter/interviewer or Brian Williams could ask the President of the United States. The economy. Unemployment. Foreclosures. Oil prices. The environment. North Korea. Hurricane Katrina. (I just threw that one in there to get ya all good and steamy! I'm so sick of hearing about Katrina. It was four years ago! Pipe down and move on!!) And I didn't see the whole thing, so maybe he did cover some of those topics, but that's not shown in the clip.

The clip has Brian Williams asking the President of the United States the following:

"I couldn't help but notice your trip this week coincides with Conan O'Brien's first week on the air. Is it because of that or...were there considerations, perhaps, that you almost cancelled to stay and watch his first week of hosting 'The Tonight Show'?"

Three. Two. One. You may now bash your head against the nearest solid surface. But don't pass out ! There's more! President Barry had to respond!

"Well, I think that, uh (pause), um (pause), Conan will do an outstanding job. Look, this is something that we've discussed several times in the Oval Office. How to manage this transition between uh, Leno and, uh, and Conan. And, uh, I think he's up to the task. But, uh, um, I just want him to know that there's not going to be any bailout coming out from Washington (pause) if he screws it up."

Are you effing

kidding me? Look, I'm all for laid back. I want the President of the United States to be relaxed. But doing a bit that plugs the new host of The Tonight Show? Don't we have actors for that sort of thing? Borat? Carrot Top? Why would you agree to that if you are Brian Williams? You're supposed to be a reporter/journalist. Would you rather work for Entertainment Tonight or The Insider? Maybe next time Pat O'Brien ends up in rehab you can snag a guest hosting gig until he sobers up. What is wrong with you, sir?

Could it get worse? It DID. President Barry did an interview yesterday with John Harwood of CNBC. What was the headline the AP ran with? That's right. "Obama Kills Fly During Interview." Oh, for cryin' out loud. WHAT?!

He's the President of the United States!! What is wrong with people?! He killed a fly?? Are you actually telling me that he killed a fly?? Why are you telling me that?? Is that what the AP actually considers "news"? They must! They have it filed under "National News" and "Political News". What? Not "Entomology News"? Not "Pesky Pest News"? Not "Fly-o-cide"?? Come on! Cover all of the bases! Make yourselves look like complete jackasses!

"President Barack Obama, nettled by a fly during a TV interview at the White House, took matters into his own hands Tuesday." Oh, God. Make it stop.

"Said Obama to the persistent fly: "Get out of here."
But it didn't."
Seriously. Is this an opening for a children's book?

"So Obama waited for the fly to settle, put his hand up and then smacked the fly dead in one try.Without missing a beat, the president said to CNBC correspondent John Harwood: "Now, where were we?"

Hold on! Not so fast! We need more explanation as to exactly how it was that he swatted that fly. After all, I don't think hardly anyone in America has ever had to swat their own fly like that. OH, we've tried! Believe me! But we're not President Barry "The Messiah" Obama.

"Well, maybe one more second to gloat. Said Obama: "That was pretty impressive, wasn't it? I got the sucker." No wonder the press thinks he's so freaking great. HE thinks he's pretty great himself. It was a FLY! What? Do you want a cookie?!

"The camera crew was still rolling in the East Room. Obama didn't mind. He pointed to the vanquished insect on the ground and said, "You want to film that?"

CNBC did. That fly is history."
And so are we. Goodbye, sweet America. Goodbye.

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1 comment:

Bandit said...

Obama would have caught the fly with a pair of chopsticks if he had any with him