Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Perhaps A More Timely Messenger Next Time?

All right, I'm done. I have had enough of this enamorment that the White House seems to have with celebrities. I've also had enough of President Barry acting like a rock star as he climbs higher and higher up atop his homemade pedestal so that all of his loyal subjects may worship him appropriately. Or inappropriately. Whatever it is, I'm freaking sick of it. Oh, and I'm sick of G-D Ashton Kutcher, too.

Look, I'll give Ashton this much: He does seem to have somewhat of a following with those in the 25 and younger crowd. I think. And while being able to reach a specific audience of people is commendable and definitely desirable, is there a reason why President Barry feels that it should be Ashton Kutcher? Because while I like the idea of an individual being able to engage the masses, I'd prefer it if I actually had just the slightest notion that the person in that position actually knew what in the hell they were talking about and could present such viewpoints in a clear fashion.

Actually, in the case of Ashton Kutcher, I'd like it if he could present his viewpoint at all. I have NO idea if he knows his ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to some of the country's more pressing issues. But yet he just continues to amass a bunch of sheeplike followers who will, in turn, continue to spread whatever message it is that he wants them to in a similar sanctimonious manner. Sure, that sounds like a great idea. Just blindly follow someone because they're "famous" and you won't go wrong! Good message to send. Yeah, that should help.

Tonight as I was perusing the Internet (that's right, for porn) I saw this headline over there at Politico.com: "New White House Messenger? Ashton Kutcher" Now, because of the question mark after 'Messenger', I initially thought that it was going to be about Ashton lobbying for himself for something, anything to do with President Barry and his staff of obedient minions. Turns out that the question mark should have been after "Kutcher" as that's how you end up saying the whole sentence after you've read that the White House tapped Ashton Kutcher to (wait for it) "...help get the word out about National HIV Testing Day." ::: blink ::: ::: blink ::: What now?

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. They wanted him to help get the word out....by using Twitter.

Wait. Twitter? Twitter?

Oh, my GOD!! We are freaking doomed!! WHAT?!?!!?

Correct. According to those Politico folks, on Sunday, June 28, Ashton tweeted: "I've been asked by the white house to twet this" and then he a link to a White House blog post which had a video mentioning the 14th commemoration of National HIV Testing Day. The Politico guys seemed to have the same thought that I had which was WTF? Seemingly aware of how much Ashton digs his own act, they checked to see if the White House had really stooped to a level that is unprecedented, if my recent memory of how Presidential administrations "get the word out". Turns out, sadly, they did.

Their answer was given by a one Reid Cherlin who is the White House assistant press secretary. He said, "As technology impacts how and where people are communicating online, we are constantly looking for new ways to engage with the public. Our efforts to promote National HIV Testing Day included participation from popular users of Twitter, as well as broad social media engagement by agencies across the government.” It's over. We're putting messages to be delivered via mass communication methods in the hands of Kelso.

Might I make the suggestion that if you're interested in ways to "engage with the public" you might want to try using someone other than a celebretard to do so. You're not so much "engaging" the public as you are trying to render them starstruck.

But wait! There's more! How effective is this strategy going to be? Hard to say. But I'll tell you this much: I think his "message" might have held a little more weight with those who are over 25 (and even with those who think that Ashton is a moron, and there's no age limit for that!) if he hadn't whored himself out as the White House messenger boy. Did he HAVE to mention that our Presidential Administration is so pathetic that they're calling him up and asking him to Twitter? A bunch of Twitiots are running the show. Great!

But you know what else? You know what I would have appreciated even more than that? I would have really, REALLY liked it if he had sent the tweet BEFORE National HIV Testing Day was OVER! Wait. What now?

Correct. National HIV Testing Day was June 27, 2009. According to Politico, he sent the tweet on Sunday which was the 28th. So.....I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of all of this. You're sending Ashton Kutcher as the messenger, but he's a day late. Is he playing the part of the village idiot as well? Seems to me it was more about show than about any sort of real investment in the promotion. Oooh!! But it was a 'celebrity' who brought the message twenty four hours late, so it's OK! He's famous! He was in the movie "Dude, Where's My Car?" I'm so glad that the White House has his cell number! Otherwise, how else would we the public have known that we totally MISSED National HIV Testing Day?!

If I never see or hear about Ashton Kutcher on my Internets ever again, it will be too soon. And if I ever see or hear about Ashton Kutcher "tweeting for Obama", I'm movin' to Canada, America's Hat.

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