Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Paris Hilton's Never Changing Boyfriend

So, Paris Hilton is off to Dubai to film the third season (my God) of her show My New BFF. BFF being her Best Friend Forever. I don't think that's really anything that anyone who "wins" the show can hope to actually attain, as this is (somehow) Season Three and never heard of the BFFs from Seasons One or Two. And really, how many BFFs is one supposed to have? I thought the point of a "best friend" was just that - they were "the best". If you have more than one, they can't ALL be the best, can they? Maybe her show should be alled My Latest PGFF (Pretty Good Friend Forever). Or The MFFN (The Mediocre Friend For Now). Probably the most appropriate name for her show would be "Who Are You Again?"
But perhaps her filming her newest season in Dubai will help her get her mind off of her latest failed romance, that which was once with a Doug Reinhardt.

I have no idea why they broke up. I can't imagine what the basis of the relationship was in the first place in order for there to be something to break up FROM. But if I had to speculate wildly (or even if I didn't have to), I'd guess it had something to do with the pose that he was always striking whenever they were photographed in public together.
Not only is his facial expression the same in every single photo out there of these two, his general stance is about the same also.

He's always standing in some sort of pose, as if he is just waiting for paparazzi to jump out of the bushes and start snapping pictures of the oh-so-fascinating man who never flinches when walking next to Paris Hilton.

I'm also fairly convinced that his arms are allergic to the sides of his body, as they're never touching it.

It's like he has confused every sidewalk in the world for some sort of catwalk where he models whatever it is that she dressed him in that day.

I think in the picture below he's hoping that people think he's Ben Affleck.

I think it's weird. He's the same in EVERY picture!

Which makes me wonder at all as to why they broke up. It seems that he is quite possibly just as vacuous as she is.
Seems like a perfect match. She can blather on about herself and he can feign interest (or not) and keep thinking about himself.

Maybe her next show could be her search for her next boyfriend. She seems to go through them about as often as the seasons fly by on her best friend show. And the winner not only gets to be her boyfriend until the next season starts, he also gets control of the sex tape that they'll make as one of the final tasks in the weird scheme of how the program is set up. It'd be just like her real life, except everyone else in the world would get to watch. Oh. Wait a minute. Everyone else in the world who wanted to watch BEFORE got to do that also. OK, so it's not a new concept! It's Paris Hilton, for cryin' out loud! Can't we just trick her into thinking something is new? I'm pretty sure we can.

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1 comment:

La Belle Canadienne said...

Looks like she has a pole sticking out of her scrawny lil legs in that purple dress...WTF? Who told her 2 wear that godawful ugly satiny thing. Almost as bad as Aretha's bow hat thinga-majig.

Who gives 2 shits about an American heiress and her crappy reality show in Dubai the fake wannabe Las Vegas of the Middle East. I never heard of her show period until now. What...will she have male belly dancers come and audition 2 be her BFF? And why would any1 with half a brain even want 2 know her much less meet her is beyond me. Since a large chunk of the male population in Dubai is gay, perhaps she should pick a nice gay Dubai-ian? Is that their all called...oh no wait..they r Emiratis that drive Masseratis.

However, I digress. I'm sure some publicity hungry Emirati Sheikh will someone make his way into her crappy lil show.

Girlfriend is so f'in annoying and yet you wrote about her and her Ken doll boytoy. And I commented on her. Sad that we all continue to feed into the sucky phenomenon that is Paris the Pukey Hilton.