Friday, June 12, 2009

The Latest Hair-Raising Photos of Phil Spector

You remember Phil Spector, right? No? You know, the music producer guy who was found guilty of murdering a one Lana Clarkson? Not yet? Come on, the guy who developed the 'Wall of Sound' technique? Still no? He's the dude who had his hair all funky when he went to court. Yes! Him! Good! Now you're with me. Please continue.

Phil Spector had some odd behavior throughout the trial. Mostly with the wigs. Now, I suppose I could have assumed that they were all wigs. But I think of a wig as something that one dons in order to improve their look. I can't really say that the wigs of Phil Specter's choosing were of the image-improving variety, so maybe I thought that they were his own hair. No, I couldn't have thought that. I'm not a complete moron. But I don't understand why someone would choose wigs that looks as his did. Need an example? Behold! His odd wig choice!

Come on, seriously! Who would choose that. Look at it! It's HUGE! I have plenty of questions for someone who makes their hair look like that on purpose, but I have many more questions for someone who pays to have that hair placed on their head! Again, on purpose! It's inexplicable. He could store stuff in that hair! Oh, wait. I think he just did. Behold!

As far as his other looks, they are noticeably bizarre-o as well. We have The Manilow:
The Marcia Clark:

The Marcia Clark 2: The Blonde Years

The Peter Noone:

The Worried Moe:
The Andy Dick:

Now, I'll give him that it's quite the variety, but none of it is anything that I'd be paying for, that's for sure. However, now that he's in jail (likely soon heading off to prison) he won't have to worry about his wigs anymore. That's because they don't allow wigs in jail/prison unless it's "due to a medical condition." What in the hell kind of "medical condition" would one need to have that would require the use of a wig? It couldn't be just baldness because you don't need a wig for that. Baldness isn't a "medical condition", is it? It can't be! Does that mean that all of those guys who shave their domes are inflicting a "medical condition" upon themselves? I don't think it does.

But the only thing better than hearing that some guy who deserves to go to jail is actually going to jail is hearing that he won't be getting to keep his wig(s) with him in his little 6'x9' cell or whatever he's in. And the only news that's better than that?? That's right! Learning that their are pictures of a de-wigged Phil Spector floating all around the Internet. Behold! Phil Spector un-wigged!

Nice! Well, at least that clears up why he was wearing the wig. What is it with guys who start going bald on the top and instantly start growing their hair longer? Do they think that's going to distract us? Like our eyes will be diverted to the long, flowing locks of hair cascading down their neck and we won't be blinded by the glare of the sun bouncing off of their shiny cue ball there? Hey! Guys who do that! It doesn't work. We still know you're bald!

In a way, I'm almost surprised that they wouldn't let him keep his wigs. After all, he's in the California penal system now. It's a system that pretty much bows down to every idiotic request that the prisoners can make. Just wait. Within a year I'll bet that ol' Phil develops some sort of "medical condition" that requires a wig to be placed atop his shiny noggin there. It's bound to happen. But if it doesn't we can look forward to periodic photographic updates of his bald, bald head and his sorry ass "I've been caught" face for years to come. Seems fair.

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grannyann said...

I hope he hates not having a wig and I hope the other inmates tease and laugh at him. He deserves it.

Mare said...

He would definitely deserve AT LEAST that!

~ M

Anonymous said...

there is a medical condition its called alopecia assholes

Anonymous said...

How about a comparison of Marcia Clark's early look with Michael Jackson (pretty close).