Really? Al Qaeda?

So, here's an annoying, not to mention rather depressing, poll that was taken by New York Magazine. They surveyed 100 participants of the Occupy Wall Street movement in New York. And I don't think that a sampling of only 100 people is necessarily completely indicative of all the people that are protesting, but just that it's indicative of those 100 people is rather disturbing. Let's see what the magazine learned.

Let's start off with what would seem to be a very simple question to answer. Male or female? OK, 66% answered "Male". 30% answered "Female". And 4% answered "Other". Other?! WTF? There can't be "Other" in a gender question! Jesus. No wonder these protests have gone on for so long (and in venues where I really don't think that a lot of things are going to change). If they can't even figure out their gender, how are they going to figure out what they're doing.

Next, these dimwits (even the super clueless 4%) were posed with the open-ended question: "The country with the best government in the world is …" Now, they didn't provide the percentages of how many people answered what I'm going to assume are the top three answers. But here is what they came up with:

"Canada. It’s most like the U.S. but more the way I want.”
“Denmark.”
“I don’t accept the premises of this question."

Oh, God. Hey, for all of you that really like Canada, do you know what you can do about that? Go to Canada, that is correct. It's right there. Just head north. You'll eventually bump into it. And please hurry. The sooner that you go, the better.

This is probably the most telling response. When asked "Did you vote in the 2010 midterm elections?" 39% said yes, 55% said no and 5% said no, but only because they weren't 18 yet. So over half of the people that are out there pooping in the streets didn't even bother to vote last time. And yet for some reason, the feel disempowered. Huh. Go figure. What happened to not complaining if you weren't a part of the process? That's not in effect any more? Hmm. It doesn't appear to be. And that is unfortunate.

When posed with the query "Explain how you would fix Wall Street", the (I'm guessing) top three responses were: “A maximum-wage law", “President Elizabeth Warren" and “Burn it down.” Really? Elizabeth Warren? I find it amazing that all someone has to do is just have one thought or premise that resonates with a particular movement and the next thing you know, that movement is acting as if that person is qualified to run the country. And even if she did run for President, with 55% of these morons not voting, exactly how were they hoping that her winning an election would take place?

But here's my favorite. They asked these folks to rank themselves on this "Scale of Liberalism" that the magazine came up with. The results will shock you. Here we go...

Not liberal at all: 6%
Liberal but fairly mainstream (i.e., Barack Obama): 3%
Strongly liberal (i.e., Paul Krugman): 12%
Fed up with Democrats, believe country needs overhaul (i.e., Ralph Nader): 41%
Convinced the U.S. government is no better than, say, Al Qaeda (i.e., Noam Chomsky): 34%

Wait. What? Thirty four percent of those folks are convinced that the US government is no better than Al Qaeda?! Al Qaeda?! Good Lord. Those people have really come off the rails And does that mean that they're liberal or not liberal? I'm not sure where Al Qaeda is on that scale. They're rather extreme. I do know that. Who thinks these questions up, anyway? I only ask that because I want them to go to a real polling organization and have them do their thing with whack-a-do questions involving Al Qaeda and then I want to see those results. I realize that it could be even more frightening than this, but I have to know. And then I have the feeling that I need to move Australia. (I was going to pick Canada, but I'm afraid all of the morons here who love it there so much might show up.)

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Meanwhile, In Canada

Today I learned just how populous moose are in Canada. Behold!

What are the odds?! That's a lot of moose. It is moose, right? The plural of moose is moose? Isn't it? I'm pretty sure it's not mooses. Moosii? Nooo....right? Hmmm...

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The Supreme Court of America's Hat

Sorry for the delay in posting and for the temporary disappearance of yesterday's post. All I know is that Blogger was supposed to be down for some routine maintenance or something like that and it ended up being in "read only" mode for about 24 hours. They never really say what's wrong or how it was fixed, so your guess is as good as mine. So now I'm kind of scrambling to get today's post done AND get tomorrow's done. So, forgive me if this seems a little lame (even though I was oddly fascinated by this), but here is a picture of the Supreme Court of Canada. Apparently, they dress like they live at the North Pole. I guess it's fine. I just didn't expect to see a Supreme Court full of Santa and Mrs. Claus is all. Behold!

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Olympics Bingo

Time for the Olympics in Vancouver! I guess we're supposed to be excited whenever the Olympics roll around, but it's unclear as to why that is. Granted, I find the Winter Olympics more entertaining that I do the Summer Olympics because there's more danger involved. I find that observing sports involving danger is much more satisfying than observing sports which have very little chance for injury of any sort. What's the worst thing that's going to happen at the Summer Olympics? Someone gets some over-chlorinated pool water in their goggles? Ooohhh!

While the Winter Olympics themselves come with plenty of thrills and excitement, the opening ceremony does not. That's why I've concocted Opening Ceremony Bingo! Every time one of the items on the card below occurs during the opening ceremony, you can mark that spot off. Five in a row wins whatever it is that you want yourself to win. (I take a very DIY approach to these sorts of things.) If you'd like to play it as a drinking game instead and just take a drink every time one of those events occurs, that's fine too. It's a very versatile activity!

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Things To Be Learned During The Day

I've learned several things today. All of which I could have done without learning for quite some time. At the very least, could I not have learned them during a time when I shouldn't have been sleeping?

One, I've learned to not believe everything on the Internet. Except for porn. Porn's real. Porn really happens that way. The next time I order a pizza, I fully expect wild sex to erupt and the pizza to be forgotten until it's over. Porn's real. (Isn't it?) Everything else? Who the hell knows?

Two, I've learned that if you're going to order something from Canada, America's Hat, and it says that it is "simple" to install, it isn't. Actually, if you order anything from anywhere that claims to be "simple" to install, it isn't. You'll be lucky if you get any sleep. Ever again.

Three, when the company says that they don't have written instructions on how to install their product, but that there is a fine video on YouTube that, again, is not of their product per se, but does show you what to do in order to install their product, that should be a sign that things may not go as well as you'd like.

Four, if your purchase without instructions (but with a URL to go to and watch a video on YouTube) arrives six days later when you paid for Express Overnight Delivery, that is, again, just a sign of things to come.

Five, if your purchase involves taking your friend's beloved Blackberry apart so that you can put a spiffy new case on it, take care not to strip those teeny tiny little screws that are in there. They're important. And if you do strip them, try to not do it when you have it put together incorrectly so that you are then left to figure out how to remove said stripped screws.

Six, when you figure out that you need some pliers and it's 11 o'clock at night and you have your friend's Blackberry in about 27 different pieces, try and not have that happen if she doesn't own any pliers and you're at her place. Because that's when you realize that you have to drive the 20-ish miles through the treacherous canyon back to your place to get the pliers, fix the Blackberry, put it back together (now with spiffy new case!) and then drive the 20-ish miles back to your friend's place to drop it off and then drive the 20-ish miles back home again in time to write something witty for your blog.

Seven, if as your leaving your friend's house with the multi-pieced Blackberry in hand on your quest to find pliers, and she happens to tell you that she has total confidence in you that you can take care of it and all will be good by morning (and that she wouldn't have that confidence in anyone else but you), don't screw it up. (That is why I prefer that people have extremely low expectations of me. I want people to think that I can't do squat. That way they're always pleasantly surprised when anything I do, no matter how insignificant it is, actually occurs. Having these expectations of "I know you can do it" is just a nerve wracking experience. I don't know how any of you achievers (not "over", just "achievers") do it.

Eight, when you get back home after all of the above, realize why you did it and then bask in the fact that you have a friend that's totally worth doing all of that for. Because for that ordeal, they're one heckuva friend and you'd better be thankful that you have someone like that around.

And now I'm just going to hope like crazy that the damn thing still works when she flips it on in the morning. And if it does, hall-e-freaking-lu-yah. But not just because she'll be happy, but because it's kinda nice to be the hero. And after that? Write yourself a strongly worded email to those Canucks in America's Hat and tell them what you think of their easy to install, five days late, without instructions product.

Yeah, that should just about do it.

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Screw American Porn!

Up there in Canada, America's Hat, those crazy Canucks are getting ready to show their national solidarity like no others by coming together (and taking it off) to launch a new porn channel which, according to the extremely mediocre reporting from Yahoo! News, "promises to serve up at least 50 percent domestic content" (because for some reason, having your porn stars be from your nation of origin is extremely important to Canadian, I guess. Me? I just want my porn to be porn. No plot, no clothes, lots of fun.).

The channel, dubbed Northern Peaks (pun has to be intended, don't you think?), will be the first adult video channel in Canada that offers "significant Canadian adult content." What does that mean exactly? Hockey porn? Porn actors with those furry hats with ear flaps? Porn people wearing just the maple leaf? How does Canadian adult content differ from, say, American adult content? Inquiring (and horny) minds want to know! (And that's unfortunate because Yahoo! News doesn't do a very good job in that arena. You know, the arena of reporting.)

According to one Shaun Donnelly, who is the president of Real Productions,"I think as Canadians there is a bit of a tiredness in seeing all American stuff." You do? "There is always that thrill for something that is local and you get the sense that these are people you can meet at the supermarket." Wait. What? That's right. Someone you could bump into (hopefully not literally, my God. It's hard enough to find ripe produce without having to worry about a porn star thumping the melons next to you.) whilst fully clothed and pushing a cart full of food. That's not exactly one of my porn fantasies. (Usually there are no supermarkets involved.) But according to the website, it could happen. The website states, "What makes us unique? Simply, our ability to find lovely women who have never appeared in an adult video in their lives and tape them in fully explicit action with amateur male performers!" I see.

I'm going to have to question this "ability" that they have to "find" lovely women who are willing to "hump" an amateur "male" performer and have it all captured on camera to be rebroadcast at a later time with minimal commercial interruptions. As far as I can tell, there's really not a lot of women dying to break into such a field, thank God. So, I'm guessing that by "ability" they mean "we have the Internet" and by "find" they mean "post on Craigslist". "Hump" is "hump" and "male" is "male" (on a good day), so I don't need to go into those.

Look, I don't know about you, (and again, I'm not a guy, so I could be way off base here) but I don't think that I want to meet those individuals who were participating in the porn that I watched. And that goes for at the supermarket or a mediocre market or any other public or private venue. And how would I get the sense that they're the kind of folks that I could meet at the store? What in the hell kind of groceries are they running up there in America's Hat? If I get the sense that I'm grocery shopping with a bunch of porn stars, I'm going to start shopping somewhere else. (Then again, I don't know how I'd get that sense, unless they were fornicating in the frozen food aisle or fornicating like crazed weasels on those little conveyor belts at the check out.)

But this is what I don't get. So, Northern Peaks is going to be America's Hat's first adult video channel. But the non-elaborating Yahoo! News article also states that, "Northern Peaks will be restricted to certain types of programming including long-form documentaries, dramatic series, feature films, game shows, mini-series, sitcoms, made-for-TV movies, general entertainment and human interest." So, wait. What?

None of those "certain types of programming" that "Northern Peaks will be restricted to" are porn. Does the porn have to be in those formats? A porn game show? (Alex Trebek IS Canadian. And he does look a little porn star-ish with that moustache and all. Why that head shot over there is him without a shirt on is beyond me. He does look rather smooth, though. Throw a little oil and glitter on that seal-llike physique and you've got yourself a Canadian porn star/game show host. Good God, that sounds horrible, doesn't it? All shiny and glittery, asking questions, giving answers. It's just wrong on so many levels.) Porn sitcoms? (Well, they are kinda funny if you're listening to the dialogue. But, then again, if you're listening to the dialogue, you're doing it wrong.) Porn long form documentaries? (OK, that one I can see.) And as far as "general entertainment" and "human interest" goes, it is porn and it does qualify for both of those categories in and of itself.

No word on when this is actually going to be on the air. I suppose after they have utilized their ability to find everyday porn stars and made a few flicks with some real, live, girl-next-door type, screwing Canadians or something. But I still can't see how it's going to be all that different from the good, old-fashioned American porn that we've all grown to know and love. Sure, they have those funny accents, but no one is going to notice that unless there's an announcer giving voice-over commentary. "In! Ooot! In! Ooot! In! Ooot!"

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Trouble In America's Hat

Idiots. That's a broad enough term that I can use to include a wide variety of individuals, some of whom may only be on the fringe of idiocy, but by calling them an idiot, it eliminates those on the fringe and any resulting confusion.

Idiots make idiotic statements. It's what they do. It's sort of implied by their name "idiot". Kind of like if one is an 'Inuit" they will likely make Inuitic statements (although having never heard one, I'm not totally sure if it's true, but you get the point). Idiots, again as their name implies, are not real bright and thus their material does have it's limitations. If you're looking for new and original statements from idiots, you're only going to find it when you first start looking for idiotic statements. That's because they tend to repeat themselves. Perhaps not with the exact same words every time (because they're...? Idiots, that's correct.), but with the same general meaning.

The best place to find idiotic statements is "man on the street" interviews (idiots really like the street for some reason. They're always out there when someone is interviewing.). Another really good place to find idiotic statements is after a crime has been committed and the press is looking for commentary about the perpetrator. Let's go up to Canada, America's Hat for an example, shall we?

Up north in lovely Canada, America's Hat, there was an incident on a bus recently. I use the term 'incident' because it sounds so much less gruesome than what it actually was, which was an unprovoked and ruthless beheading of one passenger by his fellow seat mate. OK, that information alone is enough to make everyone never ride a bus again. Or if they do, they certainly are going to be staying awake during that long drive across the open plains of Nebraska, that's for sure. No dozing off for bus riding patrons from here on out, I can almost guarantee that one.

So this guy, for some reason, decides that he needs to kill his seat mate and proceeds to do so. Oh, did I forget the part about the cannibalism? Yeah, I thought so. I wasn't quite sure how to squeeze that in and have it be all, you know, nonchalant and stuff as to not alarm all eight of you out there reading this. After he killed the guy AND cut off his head, he was seen picking bits of flesh from the recently de-nogginized and eating it. If that is not a clear cut example as to why airlines and buses should not be cutting back on the snacks they hand out, I don't know what is. (Are you listening Delta? United? American? Would a few packs of peanuts kill you? Well, NO packs of peanuts apparently MIGHT, so you might want to re-think that cost cutting measure right there.)

The guy gets arrested. I don't think he was very hard to catch. I mean, they were on a bus. Where's he going to go? The bathroom? Underneath the seat? So then the media has to find people that knew The Lopper and ask them what they thought of him. His boss (who will later be branded an idiot by me) said, "We never would have expected this out of him." Really? Um, I'm sorry sir, do you have employees who you WOULD expect to decapitate their seat mate on a bus travelling across the beautiful country of Canada, America's Hat? Good Lord, what are THOSE employees like?

Then the guy goes on to say, "He was prompt and well dressed." Now, if that is what the boss is describing as why he wouldn't think that his employee would be a head chopper, then you would have to assume that the opposite would be true for those who ARE head choppers, right? So, if we take his examples of "on time" and "well dressed" and we go to the opposite, we get "late" and "wrinkled clothes". Ah, I see. So, most of the people that I know are inclined to lop off someone's head on a bus, most likely their seatmate, and then eat bits of their flesh whilst waiting to be arrested by the Mounties and their Saint Bernards. Got it. I need new friends.

What in the hell does someone's punctuality have to do with whether or not they are prone to murder and mayhem? I'm thinking NOTHING. It's like when they find and arrest a serial killer somewhere and they interview the neighbors. The neighbors of a serial killer ALWAYS, hands down, ALWAYS say the SAME thing. "We never had any problems with him. He was really quiet and kept to himself." BAM! Sign of a killer. And the serial killers never bother their neighbors, have you noticed that? If you want to keep yourself safe from getting killed by a lunatic some day, move in next door to a serial killer. They're too busy picking people off the streets to bother with you. Safest place you can be when a crazy man is on the loose is right next door.

So in that example, here are your choices: "Quiet", "keeps to himself", "never gives you any problems" BUT "is a serial killer". OR you can have the opposite, which is "Loud", "always coming over to borrow eggs and sugar", "a genuine pain in the ass" BUT "is NOT a serial killer". I'm moving in next to Dahmer. It's really a no brainer. They never kill the neighbors, so you're safe.

Now, the article that describes this horrific event (that was likely not on ANYONE'S "List of Things To Do and See". Almost no one's.) gives information that is pretty much along the same lines as the information that the idiots gave us. Information that, while informative, really shouldn't be prefaced with the sorts of things that preface information about psychotic maniacs doing the ol' slice n' dice on their seatmate. Here's what I mean. See if you catch it.

"Passengers said they just reboarded the bus following a break when the suspect, for no apparent reason, stabbed the man sitting next to him dozens of times as passengers fled in horror."

How'd you do? Did you find the part "for no apparent reason" to be completely idiotic and unnecessary. Tell me, fine folks who wrote that line, what, exactly, WOULD be the reason?! What kind of a REASON would you need to decapitate someone after stabbing them to death while they slept on a freaking BUS?! There ARE apparent REASONS for something like that? REALLY?! Is that why I should be shocked, just shocked, that "for no apparent reason" this guy lopped off another guy's noggin and ate him? Oh, my God! For no apparent reason he did that? Just completely out of the blue. Yeah, that's what makes it so strange. It was for no apparent reason.

I'm guessing you see my point.

He then severed the man's head and holds it up to the window of the bus (so the horrified passengers on the outside of the bus can be absolutely certain they will never set foot in that bus, nor any other bus or motor vehicle ever again). The man then started cutting pieces off of the body and eating them. Yeah, that should do it. OH. MY. GOD.

Tell me something, how do you process something like this in your brain? I mean, face it, you're never getting over this one. Nope. You'll never have a complete and restful night's sleep for as long as you live. That's never going away. But let's assume that the fight or flight instinct response kicks in when you see ol' Stabby McHacks-A-Lot going to town on his unfortunate traveling companion there and you run like the wind. You're outside the bus and you're trying to to vomit when you look up and see him holding a severed human head up to the window. You'd be too confused to know what to do because, really, how has your brain trained for that moment your entire life? That's right. It hasn't. So while you're looking at the prize in the window, your brain is working at top speed trying to find a reaction. Smoke is likely coming out of your ears. But nothing. It comes up with nothing. And it never will. The brain is an amazing tool and it can do amazing things. It can't do this. No way. Never.

And just a little bit more unnecessary commentary from Canadian news outlets. This from a reporter, either TV or Internet (hard to tell) as he wraps up his report on this story. "Canada is a rather peaceful country. I'm not saying that there's no crime or violence. But this sort of thing is very, very uncommon. And the horrific nature of it just caught everyone by complete surprise. And of course, it has horrified people across the country. This is a major story." Do you really think the TWO uses of the word "very" were necessary considering they were prefacing the word "uncommon"? I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that beheading and cannibalism on a freaking Greyhound bus is "uncommon". In fact, it may be on of the least common things ever. I swear....

And finally from our good friends but somewhat sloppy journalists over yonder at the AP, I share with you the real repercussions of something as "uncommon" as this brutal attack by a well dressed and punctual lunatic. "Greyhound has scrapped a billboard ad campaign that extolled the relaxing upside of bus travel which had the unfortunate punch line stating: “There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage’”. Until now. Good choice to pull that ad. Which employee was in charge of that decision? Was he well dressed? Punctual? Because if he wasn't, we might not be able to promote him. anytime soon.

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Oh, Canada

In what may be, in all seriousness, the worst possible photo to accompany a news story, I bring you this little gem I dug up over at EON (eontarionow.com), which is put together by our fine neighbors up in Canada, America's Hat.

The headline:

Prostate Cancer Drug and Prevent Bone Loss

So far, so good. Next? Well, next is the entire article. This is it:

"Drug manufacture Amgen is reporting that their drug denosumab can prevent bone loss in men with prostate cancer.
In a clinical trial involving 1,400 prostate cancer patients, the drug was able to reduce the risk of osteoporosis, WebMD reports.
Men receiving denosumab also experienced less than half the incidence of new vertebral fractures than those receiving the placebo, Amgen said.
The study involved patients with non-metastatic prostate cancer, the company said.
“We believe that denosumab has further demonstrated activity in cancer patients. However, we await this agent’s pivotal FREEDOM study (in women with post-menopausal osteoporosis) later this year to answer questions regarding the agent’s utility in that important setting,” Robert W. Baird & Co analyst Christopher Raymond said in a research note.
“We’re excited by the evidence of clinical activity — which is reduction of vertebral fractures,” said Roger Dansey, director of Amgen’s denosumab oncology program."

Yes, I realize that was boring, but it does sound like good news (so be glad it was short). And here, I swear to you and I kid you not, here is the photo that accompanied that useful little news item above:

Oh, Canada!

It doesn't help matters to know that EON's tagline/motto/whatever is "Keeping Ontario Connected." Well, I'd say so, but my GOD, people!! I don't want to be connected like THAT to Canada or anything else, thanks! I thought the article said something about "bone loss"? Well, you're certainly not going to find any "bone" in THERE!

WHO in the hell thought that was a good idea?! WHO??

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Stating the Painfully Obvious

Sometimes, this is just too damn easy.

Up there in Canada (America's Hat), according to Statistic Canada's Canadian Community Health Survey (I swear that's what it's called), "Adults who watch more than 21 hours of TV a week were 80 per cent more likely to be obese than people who watched five hours or less television. Men who spent a lot of their leisure time in front of a computer screen were 20 per cent more likely to be obese and women were 30 per cent more likely than people who didn't send much time in front of a computer."

In other news, the sun....still hot! And water? Still wet. Back to you.

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WKRP - Who Knew? Referenced Poultry!

OK, not only is this story a bit odd, the commentary on it is just freaking strange. And it's coming to us from our neighbor's up north in Canada (America's Hat), Canoe.ca. Now, from what I can tell, the folks at canoe.ca are really into retelling a story that is masquerading as news in such ridiculous detail that you will actually be able to picture yourself at the horrific scene. (OK, not all scenes are horrific, and this one isn't even really all that close, but you get the point. Detailed. They're very detailed.) They also seem to think that certain knowledge is just common among everyday people with TVs who watched them in the 1970s. Wait. What?

Apparently, over up yonder in Canada (America's Hat), a busload full of students was involved in an accident with an animal. It would seem that the bus, loaded with 7th and 8th graders (school grade levels = irrelevant) from St. Mark's School (school = irrelevant) was driving east (direction = irrelevant) on Regional Road 55 (road = irrelevant) at around 11 a.m. (time = irrelevant) and a bird flew out of a wooded area (bird = really relevant, but why is it just a bird?! We have every other freaking detail that we so do NOT need, but the bird is just a bird?).

The bird smashed through a window in the middle of the bus and ended up inside of the bus (did you really expect that the bird would go all the way through the bus? Me neither. Location of bird after crashing through window = obvious). Finally we get to the good stuff when the folks at canoe.ca tell us that the bird was, in fact, a wild turkey (the bird, not the liquor. Although this story has me wishing that is WAS the liquor right about now.). So now we have a busload of kids and an uninvited turkey aboard an eastbound bus before lunchtime. Then what?

Glad you asked! The driver of the bus, sensing something was amiss (perhaps it was all of the crashing glass or the BIRD waddling through the aisle. When they left on this trip, there was no bird there.), pulled the bus off to the side of the road (which road? Correct. Regional Road 55!) and opened the door. And here is your anti climatic ending: "The bird got off the bus." Again, no duh.

The rest of the article is longer than the article had been up to that point. It rambles on about how "wild turkeys look similar to farm turkeys but are smaller." And that information could only be useful if I knew what a farm turkey looked like in the first freaking place! I have knowledge of the appearance of one kind of turkey, that of the Thanksgiving variety when it is crispy brown and in the middle of the table surrounded by family, loved ones, and a heckuva lot of yams. Other than that, I'm going to need a field guide or something to differentiate between the various species of turkey.

The article then goes on to say that it took about an hour before things were straightened out. They felt the need to summon a couple of police vehicles and a couple of ambulances as well. And then things start to get a little weird. What you are about to read has not been altered one iota. It is straight from the canoe.ca article and is being reproduced here, verbatim, in hopes of an explanation from someone. Ready? Here we go:

"Thanks to the 1970s sitcom “WKRP in Cincinnati,” everyone knows farm turkeys can’t fly. But wild turkeys are capable of flying about 90 hm/h and cover more than a kilometre at a time while airborne. They can weigh as much as 10.8 kilograms (23 pounds). Males can stand about four feet tall, while females are a foot smaller, according to several websites about wild turkeys." Wait. We do? What?

And so I ask all seven of you who are reading this, WTF?

What in the hell did WKRP in Cincinnati have to do with farm turkeys?! And why does "everyone" but me know this?! Or DOES everyone know this? Apparently, up in Canada (America's Hat) they think that we do or at least that we should!!

I remember Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap. I remember bimbo Jennifer, annoying Herb and the boss guy, Mister somebody (Dithers? Carruthers? How come all bosses have names that end in "-ers" on these shows?). I can't remember his name, but he went on to become the Maytag Repairman guy. (Mid life career change, I guess.) I remember Bailey, Les Nessman and the dude with the gold chain and the pretty, pretty feathered hair, a la Farrah Fawcett (see example below). But I do not remember a wild turkey premise on that show! It WAS about a radio station, wasn't it? The radio station wasn't on a farm was it?

Turns out that no, it wasn't on a farm. Now considering that "everyone knows" line from the canoe.ca folks, I'm thinking that it shouldn't be all that hard to track this thing down online. It was harder than you'd think. But I finally found it and I have to tell you, I wasn't overly amused. Nor did I catch the part about the farm turkeys not being able to fly. For some reason, in the episode that is referred to in a God-like manner by those journalistic Canucks, a helicopter doing a promotional fly over throws a bunch of turkeys out over a shopping center and, according to Les Nessman, they all "are plummeting to earth like sacks of wet cement. Oh, the humanity!" Maybe they thought they were throwing out wild turkeys but ended up with a bunch of farm turkeys instead? I don't know. But I do know this much: I know that those up there in Canada (America's Hat) give way more credit to the significance of American sitcoms from the 1970's than the Americans do. They also know way more about American sitcoms (from any decade, really) than any American would know about Canadian sitcoms ever. And I don't know if that is a good thing or a not good thing. But I think that it's nice that two countries can not only share a border, but also share a love for crappy TV with annoying laugh tracks in the background.

And for anyone who is interested, yes, here is a clip of the episode where the flightless nature of the farm turkey was introduced to Canada and the rest of the world nearly some 30+ years ago.

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