Monday, December 31, 2012

This Is A Bad Idea

Well, it has happened.  Kim Kardashian has finally managed to get herself knocked up by her current boyfriend, Kanya West.  There is simultaneously nothing to say about this and plenty to say about this.  Let's see if I can hit it somewhere in the middle (which is apparently what Kanye was able to do successfully). 

Let's start with the obvious.  Her ass.  It's already huge.  How much bigger is it going to get?  I wouldn't think that something that large could get any bigger.  But think about space.  Space is pretty large.  And it keeps getting bigger and bigger.  I guess we could expect her ass to do the same.  Good Lord, where is she going to find maternity clothes to go over that?  (Is an Omar the Tentmaker joke outdated at this point?  What would be the modern day equivalent of that?) 

Next, let's talk about this chick's intelligence.  She doesn't seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed.  Not to mention that Kanye seems to have an anger management problem.  (He's going to freak out on his first Father's Day to see all of those other guys wearing #1 Dad T-shirts!  "Hey!  I'M the #1 Dad!")  But she just seems vapid.  And it's like she's in love with being in love.  Which brings me to my next point.  Her husband. 

That's right.  If you'll recall, Kimmie had a lovely gazillion dollar wedding not that long ago where she married the athletically talented dullard Kris Humphries.  That union lasted all of 72 days and from what I can tell, Kim was the only one who was surprised that it ended.  I was only surprised that they managed to hang in there for 72 days.  (I was betting on 7.2 days.)  But for some reason, even though they gave it up months ago and were only married for technically 72 days, they're not divorced yet!  Yes, they're still married!  And while I prefer that people who have children do so when they're married, I guess I should have clarified that I prefer them to be married to each other. 

And of course, Kim and Kanye aren't married.  Granted, it would be a little hard to do with her husband still in the picture and all.  But who needs marriage when you can just pop out children with absolutely no commitment to each other at all?!  Yeah, that's a great idea.  I'm sure that they'll be together forever and ever and that things will be just fine and the kid won't grow up weird at all. Yeah, that'll happen. 

Well, it'll keep the reality show business that they seem to be mining for gold going a little bit longer.  Because you know that the birth of that kid is going to be like a 2 hour primetime special in HD.  Ugh.  Well, here's to hoping that she's not still married to someone else when the kid pops out.  (Seriously, that's the best I can come up with in this situation.)

Stumble Upon Toolbar Sphere: Related Content

No comments: