Monday, February 6, 2012

Super Kinky Bowl 2012


The Super Bowl was yesterday. I had a good time. I went to a friend's house and watched it amongst about 10 people. Good times. Good food. And little did we know that if we had only looked on Craigslist (and were partial to weirdos) that we could have had our food and drinks paid for (up to $1500 worth!) by some very odd and (seemingly) very lonely soul out there.

Seriously. Here is an ad that was posted on Craigslist on January 31, 2012. At least the guy was thinking ahead. I'll give him that. Don't get me wrong. He's likely a weirdo pervert who I wouldn't want within 50 miles of my home, let alone in my living room. But I like it when people don't wait until the last minute for things. I'll provide you with the text of this guy's very strange proposition, but just so you know I'm not making this up, behold!

And now, the text...

If you're planning on having a Super Bowl party this Sunday, I'm looking for a group of open minded people to let me watch them watch the game.

I'd prefer a party of mostly straight, young couples, but a lot of singles would be fine too, especially if there are guys there who get really into the game and paint their faces.

In return for letting me watch you, I will be more than happy to front the bill for all of your food and drinks, up to $1500. All I ask in return is to have a good view of the entire party and a private area to excuse myself to from time to time.

I'm pretty laid back and definitely won't bother you at all. In fact, if there's a way for me to sit out of view and still see everyone, that would be great. The last people who had me over for their Oscar party barely even knew I was there because I sat in a reading nook behind all the action. I could see and hear them but they couldn't really see or hear me. That kind of set-up would be ideal, if you have it. If not, we can improvise. Worse comes to worse I might just hang out in the bathroom for a little bit right before halftime and at the end of the game.

If interested, please email me before Saturday, and if possible include a picture of your party space and pictures of as many people who are attending the party as you can get your hands on.

OK, then. There are so many disturbing things about this that it's really hard to know where to start. I feel like I need a shower after reading that. This guy takes the whole "I wanna watch" thing to a completely different level. The whole part about him needing a "private area" is completely revolting. I might have "private areas" in my home, but they're not for that and they're certainly not for him and that! Good Lord, sir. Do people really paint their faces when they're watching the game at home? That seems...unnecessary. (Then again, I'm not sure that it's all that "necessary" when you're actually in attendance at the game either. I've never really understood the face painters. Or the chest painters. I don't get them either. But if you're painting your face to watch a game in your own living room, you might want to check yourself. Not like that!)

I can only shudder to think of what this guy looks like and what kind of a guy that he is. We already know that he's kind of guy that's willing to fork out up to $1500 for his kink. I don't know what that means exactly, but I don't think that it's good. I've heard of some strange requests before, but this is definitely one of the strangest. Now, if I could just sit back and hope that things don't get any weirder in this lifetime, I'd be happy. I'm dying to know if anyone took him up on his offer. Should I email him and ask? Hmmm. Do I really want to know? I kind of do. Actually, if someone did take him up on his offer, I'd really like to talk to them. I have several questions for people who are willing to let a complete stranger use their households private areas in exchange for a couple of bags of Funyuns and some dip.

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