Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A Leg Up

Yesterday we discussed whether or not JLo showed her nipple at the Oscars. (We did not discuss whether or not any sort of freak out over the alleged aforementioned areola would be warranted. That's because it wouldn't.) Today, I'd like to go over what in the hell was up with Angelina Jolie and her right leg. Behold!
And if that wasn't weird enough for you, it was like that all night. I couldn't quite figure it out. Is it some sort of prosthetic that she's really proud of? Or is it some sort of prosthetic that they put on crooked? Why's it sticking out like that? Are we supposed to be sucked in by the magic of television and just not notice that there isn't an able bodied human being on the planet that would ever naturally stand like that? Because I can't do that. And it's not like I'm the only one who noticed the leg. The leg now has it's own Twitter account, for crying out loud!

That Twitter account has over 25,000 followers. Those people know that it isn't really her leg that's doing the tweeting...right? What cracked me up the most about all of this was how out of her way Angelina Jolie went to make sure that her leg got a little airtime. She's in all of these ridiculous positions which I find simply hilarious.

I can't tell if her heel is all of the way off of the ground or if that is solely the work of a contortionist. Regardless, what is she trying to accomplish? Here's her leg! Is that her best leg? Is it a special leg? Is the leg some sort of a hero? Or is the leg just trying to escape? Look at this one:

Is she peeing? That kind of looks like the stance a female might take in the wild when needing to empty her bladder. It's a look rarely seen at red carpet events, though. Speaking of looks, can we talk about Angelina's? If the camera adds ten pounds, then she must weigh all of 60 pounds. She's damn near gaunt. Angie, sweetheart, have a sandwich. It's on me!
No, really. Did she run out of time and could only manage to shave one leg? So she's keeping that one hidden and trying to detract from its existence by constantly displaying the shaven one? I don't get it. It looks so unnatural and so uncomfortable. And there doesn't seem to be any reason for it! Doesn't she know that it looks weird? (Not that it would matter. This is the chick that used to wear a vile of her husband's blood around her neck. I'm not so certain that she gives a fat rat's ass about what's weird and what isn't.) I mean really weird. Not as weird as this, but still pretty weird.

Maybe that's really what was going on under there. It certainly looks problematic. I can certainly see why she'd want to cover up at least half of that!

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