Thursday, January 3, 2013

Nothing Good Ever Happens Past 10pm

Here's a new one.  Well, the stupidity isn't new, but the methodology by which it was expressed is fairly novel at this point.  What we have here is a teenager who wasn't real thrilled with her parents' rule that she be off of the Internet by 10pm every night.  So, you know, she did what you would expect.  She drugged her parents by putting prescription sleeping medication in their milkshakes to render them unconscious and allow her unlimited freedom to view cat videos (I'm assuming), unencumbered from silly rules and regulations. 

So she can't get on the Internet after 10pm at night (as if the Internet knows time or something) and the best that she can come up with is to drug her parents' milkshakes?  First of all, what kind of a family is this where the teenage daughter is making milkshakes for the parental units?  Is this what she always does?  Are they a milkshake family?  If I ever made milkshakes for my parents when I was a teenager, I'd have to guess that they would automatically assume that I drugged them or poisoned them or something.  (Hey, the teen years were rough, what can I say?!)

How dumb is this girl?  I mean, I know she's dumb enough to drug her parents to get online after 10pm (Livin' on the edge!), but I'd still like it to be measured somehow.  Was rendering them unconscious the best that she could come up with?  She never thought to just wait until they went to sleep under their own power and get on the Internet then?  What about having a spare Ehternet cord in case they take that away from her?  (Don't ask why I came up with that.)  What about (now bear with me here) just accepting their rule and realizing that whatever is on the Internet after 10pm will be there during the times that her parents open the Internet?!  What could have possibly been so enthralling that she resorted to pharmaceutical assault?  I can't imagine. 

I guess that when the parents woke up in the morning, they figured that something had gone wrong and apparently they were drug tested and something showed up.  The girl and her friend were "...arrested for conspiracy and willfully mingling a pharmaceutical into food".  She had a friend who went along with this?  So there are two complete morons in this story?  Not only did one of them think it was a good idea, the other one thought that it was also a good idea?  See, this is the thing that always amazes me about inherently bad ideas that people end up going through with.  There is almost always more than one person who thinks it's not a bad idea and they proceed as planned.  All it would take is for one person to say, "I don't know.  I don't think that it's a good idea to knock your parents out with drugs in their milkshakes.  Why don't you just wait until they fall asleep and get on the Internet and look at cats then?  Here, you can borrow my spare Ethernet cord."  But noooo.  That never happens and we end up with stories like this.  This isn't going to end well for anyone involved. 

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