Mocking Words: First Fakeroversy Of 2013

Hey, it's only January 9th and we're already well into our first fakeroversy of 2013! I'd like to think that it's some sort of record, but we're such a silly people that I'm pretty sure it isn't. None the less, this one is still fairly amusing. Apparently, we're supposed to feign shock and outrage when a sports commentator compliments a woman's appearance during a football broadcast. We're also supposed to keep up that facade when the woman in question is extremely stunning. Oh, and did I mention that she won Miss Alabama? Yeah, she's a beauty pageant winner. But God forbid if you comment about her looks! This is so ridiculous. Let me catch you up to speed.

During the BCS National Championship Game (that's college football for you non-sports folks out there), the camera panned to a one Katherine Webb. Ms. Webb is the girlfriend of the Alabama quarterback, a one AJ McCarron. (No word on what he looks like.) Ms. Webb is quite attractive. Pretty close to breathtaking. And as previously mentioned, she was Miss Alabama, so I'm sure that she's used to being noted for her good looks. So Brent Musberger is doing the announcing on the game and the camera pans to her. Here is what he said about the lovely (and I do mean lovely) Miss Webb:

"Now, when you're a quarterback at Alabama, you see that lovely lady there? She does go to Auburn. I will admit that. But she's also Miss Alabama and that's AJ McCarron's girlfriend. OK? And right there on the right is Dee Dee Bonner. That's AJ's mother. Wow. You quarterbacks. You get all the good looking women. That's a beautiful woman. So if you're a youngster in Alabama, start getting the football out and throw it around the backyard with Pop!"

That's it. That's what he said. He didn't say it in a lecherous way. He didn't say it in an old man creepy sort of way. (Musberger is 73 if that makes any difference to you. And it shouldn't.) It was very complimentary. It's certainly not anything that I'm sure she isn't used to. She was in a beauty pageant for cryin' out loud! She walked around on a stage in front of hundreds (It can't be more than hundreds, right? Are there still hundreds of people watching beauty pageants? Why are those still a thing?) people wearing nothing but a bikini and heels! And no one is supposed to ever mention that she's good looking?! Look at the woman! LOOK AT HER!

Shortly after the non-controversial remarks were uttered, ESPN felt the need to (wait for it) apologize. That's right. Apologize. I'm still not sure what they were apologizing for, but here's what they said: “We always try to capture interesting storylines and the relationship between an Auburn grad who is Miss Alabama and the current Alabama quarterback certainly met that test. However, we apologize that the commentary in this instance went too far and Brent understands that.”

Does Brent really understand that? Because I don't know how he possibly could because it doesn't make any sense! But who am I? I'm certainly not a beauty queen sitting in the stands at the BCS Championship getting complimented by Brent Musberger. No, I'm not. So maybe we should hear from the incredibly beautiful woman herself. Whilst on the Today show, here is what she had to say to that little weasel Matt Lauer when he asked her about it. She said: "I think the media has been really unfair to (Musberger). If he would’ve said something along the line that we were hot or sexy or made any derogatory statements like that, I think that would’ve been a little bit different, but the fact that he said that we were beautiful and gorgeous, I don’t see why any woman wouldn’t be flattered by that." She went on to say "I don’t think (an apology) was needed, honestly. Of course, I appreciate it, but at the same time, I don’t think that I needed an apology.’’"

Oh, God. So she's good looking AND reasonable! Holy canoli. AJ, you are a lucky man! But back to the fakeroversy. So, the person who is allegedly the "victim" can come out and say that there wasn't anything wrong with what happened and people still want to make a big deal out of it?! We are a weird, weird culture over here. We are a society that really praises the attractive. They are definitely held in a higher esteem than others. It's just how it is. But God forbid if anyone actually come out and say something about someone's looks in an arena that isn't about good looks! If that happens, suddenly we're this virginal, prudish society that believes everyone should lead the lives of monks and nuns! Which one is it?! Get over yourself, ESPN. Get over yourself everyone who thinks that this is a big deal. She's hot. Just stare at her for a while and let her be hot. Works for me.