Monday, January 14, 2013

Just Educate Them

Let's talk just a little more about these beauty pageants like the Miss America or whatever it was the other night.  The questions that these women get asked are absolutely perplexing.  Not because they're difficult questions to answer, but because I can't imagine why in the world anyone would give a fat rat's ass about what Miss [Insert State Name Here] would have to say about any of them.  These are women who walk around in bikinis and high heels on purpose.  If you saw someone in your regular life wearing high heels whilst in a bikini, don't tell me you wouldn't think to yourself, "What the heck is wrong with that person?"  You certainly wouldn't go up to them and start asking them "deep" questions. 

But that's what they do at the Miss America pageant. And the answers that are given are almost always pandering to what they think that the most popular answer is at the time.  Let's illustrate that by looking at the almost inexplicable response that Miss New York gave to the question (asked by Sam Champion, a weatherman who is apparently also qualified for pageantry work as well as telling us that we might need to put on a jacket) "In the wake of the Newtown tragedy, there has been a lot of talk about gun control.  One solution being proposed is an armed guard in every school. Do you think that would make our schools safer?”  Here is how Miss New York thinks we should save the children:  "I actually don’t. I don’t think the proper way to fight violence is with violence.  I think the proper way is to educate people about guns and the ways we can use them properly. You can lock them up, we can have gun safety classes. A longer waiting period before they are sold. The answer is not to fight violence with violence.” 

Naturally, that answer won her a round of polite applause.  Then again, from what I can tell, a contestant would practically have to fart her answer in Morse code to not get applause.  But I digress.  The point here is that we've all been missing the obvious!  Here we are debating the merits of video game violence and media coverage (Well, actually, I'm the only one who wants to talk about how these things are covered in the media because I think that the sensationalistic coverage of these mass shootings only encourages more mentally disturbed individuals to act in like manners, but still.) and guns and gun control and we missed the one action that will save us all!  We need to educate people about guns!  Of course!  If someone had just told that nutjob that going into an elementary school classroom and shooting 20 small children was wrong, then this entire problem could have been avoided!  Eureka!  We've found the densest person in the country! 

Educate people on how we can use guns properly.  That might be one of the stupider things that I have ever heard.  (I realize that I've tried to stay away from the word 'stupid' for as long as I've been writing this blog, but in this instance, it's the only word that I can come up with that accurately describes her statement.  'Moronic' just doesn't quite cut it.)  I'm sure that the parents and the relatives and the friends of everyone who was killed over there in Newtown will be relieved to know that if we just educate people on the proper ways to use guns (ie, don't kill people with them because that's not proper) then these things will never happen again.  Sure.  That's the solution.  Tell people not to do it.  Educate them on the proper use of guns.  OK then.  Miss California and her thinking that euthanasia is a vaccine is making her look like Einstein compared to Miss New York over here. 

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