Saturday, January 12, 2013

High Times At Skittles Headquarters

I don't follow the Twitter that much (but of course, you should absolutely follow me on there), but occasionally I'll check in and see what's going on.  I follow Skittles for some reason.  Yes, Skittles.  The delightfully chewy, fruity candy which asserts itself to taste like a rainbow even though I'm pretty sure that's not possible.  But I digress.  I don't know if Skittles are a go-to stoner food (for those of you not familiar with the term "stoner" it refers to a marijuana enthusiast), but I'm fairly certain the the folks who tweet for Skittles are constantly high.  Exhibit A: 

 Uh, yeah.  OK.  Where might this marshmallow homeworld BE exactly?  Actually, never mind.  I'm sure that the answer to that would make about as much sense as that does.  That is to say, none.  What else do we have?  Oh, right.  Exhibit B: 

I'm going to go with doubtful on that one.  I highly doubt that the heavily stoned Skittles eater is going to be able to do anything to an alligator other than stare and utter "Duuuuuuuddddddeee...."  What else?

 Evil aliens.  Right.  See now, if someone had said this to you, your first reaction would be "What are you smoking?"  That's still the correction reaction even though it's a tweet.  Then there's this: 

While a bearsharktopus does sound like a pretty cool evil villain (in a 1970s Japanese D movie sort of way), it's the sign of someone whose mind is slightly altered.  Just a bit.  You know.  From smoking all the pot.  It's the only way to explain this: 
OK, that's pretty funny!  Good one.  See, it's sort of a play on words.  When they say that ostriches can't fly, they don't mean on planes.  They mean literally.  That's why it's funny.  Also, never try to dissect humor.  It's about as funny as what I just did there.   And finally...

 Moustaches for the sky?  Gay moustaches, maybe.  Or maybe just high moustaches.  Probably high.  Definitely high. 

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