Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Irony of Education

So today (Tuesday, right?) at noon EST, President Barry is all set to give a little speech that will be broadcast over C-SPAN and beamed directly to schools to show to their students as President Barry's speech is directed at the them, the students, on what the White House seems to think is the typical first day of school for most kids around the country. He clearly has not heard of the lengthened school year that is quite popular these days. Most of the kids that I know have been back to school for at least a week. Fortunately, his goal of speaking to the nation's students isn't to convey how in touch he is with the inner workings of every day life amongst the minions.

He is going to be talking to them for reasons that aren't totally clear, but they seem reasonable. There was something about being responsible for themselves and what they learn in school. Something about how important education is. Something about setting goals. Oh, and how succeeding is hard sometimes, but you just have to stick with it. Stuff like that. So you can see why parents are all in an uproar. Wait. What now?

Correct. An uproar. It would seem that there is a certain segment of the general population of the United States that is crazier than Paula Abdul. A bunch of parents, but fortunately not the majority, are flipping out because they think that President Barry is out to indoctrinate our schoolchildren. And before I go any further, can I ask once again that all of the references to Hitler cease and desist? President Barry isn't Hitler! He's not! He's not a secret Muslim! He wasn't born in Kenya! And he's not Hitler! What is wrong with you people!?

To find out what is wrong with people, let's go to Nixa, Missouri. The Christian Science Monitor describes Nixa as being "a socially conservative “Evangelical Epicenter.” " Hoo-boy! This oughta be good! One of the "concerns" that was expressed was that "...Obama would be portrayed as someone of great character who might say something that contradicts the words of a parent. Now you have a very conflicted child who’s trying to find out who’s right." Um, he's speaking to them about the benefits of getting an education. He's speaking to them to give them encouragement and support on what he believes is the first day of school. He's trying to convey to them that if you want to get a good job, you're going to need to have a good education. What in the hell would that "contradict"?! All of the parents out there who are telling their children every morning, "I know. I know. School is stupid. But it's the law, children. Just go and show up and get it over with. In a few years, you may graduate. Or you may not. Either way, you won't be required by law to show up every day any more and you can get about your life of either hard physical labor or welfare to get by. Now hurry up and don't forget to sag those pants!" I don't think that's happening!

Next, we're off to see what the softheads in Montgomery, Alabama are worried about. From WSFA News we hear things like "There's a lot of issues that he's in favor of that I'm not, and I don't want that shoved down my kid's throat." Ma'am, what exactly do you think he's going to be talking to the kids about? Health care reform? The stimulus package? TARP funds? Why Nancy Pelosi's face is stretched so tight? I don't think he's going to be talking about any of those things and I am utterly perplexed as to why you would think that he would! What is wrong with you?!

And it was the conclusions that President Barry was out to brainwash every student in America (on the first day of school no less!) that led the White House to release the entire text of his speech on Monday so that it could be viewed by people who were concerned that there would be swastika armbands handed out afterwards alongside some juice and cookies. After folks had a chance to read it, here's what a one Priscilla Vinson of Montgomery had to say about it: "I can see exactly what he's saying. That's a little strong, but it's necessary." WHAT?!?!

A little strong?! It's a "little strong" to be straight up talking to kids and telling them that your life was no picnic and that you screwed up more than once, but the knowledge that an education was important helped get you back on track?! Do you have anything else to add to that? "I don't see it as a political ploy. I see it as a great investment with our children, because the children are the future." I should have been more specific. Do you have anything else to add that is not a Whitney Houston song lyric?

If this sort of fake outrage was coming just from softheaded people in the private sector, that would be one thing. But when you have state Senators blowing this sort of hot air out of their blowhole that's when you realize that they're everywhere. (It's also when you call the contractor and instruct him to build the walls around your walled-off compound just a little higher. No telling when complete insanity will break loose.) Senators like Steve Russell from Oklahoma only further the fakerage (fake + outrage = fakerage) by spewing things like "As far as I am concerned, this is not civics education - it gives the appearance of creating a cult of personality. This is something you'd expect to see in North Korea or Saddam Hussein's Iraq." Um, people of Oklahoma? You elected this guy...why? Seeing the President give a speech to school kids is probably about the last thing I'd expect to see in North Korea. Is that one of the telltale signs that the President is up to something sinister? If he gives an encouraging speech to students on the first day of school? You're right, Senator! How could I have missed that?!

Here's what I just do not understand: If you hear that the President of the United States wants to give a little talk to the students in the country, why do you automatically assume that it is going to be political? Why does it have to be sinister and evil? That was absolutely the LAST thing that popped into my head when I heard about this. According to the San Jose Mercury News, blogger Michelle Malkin "...anticipates the speech will create a K-12 army of "political guinea pigs" being used by "out-of-control activists" in "pro-illegal immigration protests, gay marriage ceremonies." ::: blink ::: ::: blink ::: For reals??

You can read the text of his speech here. Or, instead you can go make some posters claiming that President Barry is a secret Muslim Hitler and go picket in traffic. Given those two choices, it would seem a fair number of people wouldn't have any problem make a decision between the two rather quickly (and they won't be choosing all of the reading, either).

And in the ultimate irony, a lot of parents are going to keep their kids at home on Tuesday so that they won't have to hear President Barry tell them about how important it is to go to school. Sure, that seems perfectly reasonable.

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