Merry Christmas 2008

I'm sure I could come up with something ludicrous to put here today. But I think I'll pass. It's Christmas. It just wouldn't seem....right. You know, kinda like one of those inflatable, lit up, manger scenes in someone's front yard? You know that the people mean well, but it just doesn't translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great.


I don't know if this is going to translate into the "feeling of Christmas" all that great either. So to make sure that nothing gets lost in translation, I'm keepin' it short. (But just in case it does get lost in translation, I'm really shootin' for the whole "feeling of Christmas" thing here. Just so you know.)

I'm grateful for this day because it's kinda where it all started or where it all starts. Without the events of this day, I wouldn't have a chance to be forgiven for all of the times and all of the things that I screw up. And there's a lot of 'em. Trust me. And it's not just me that has that opportunity. It's everyone. Including all of the morons that I mock incessantly. They too can (surprisingly) be forgiven for all of their evil-doings.

The whole Christmas thing just makes me happy. And I try to share that happiness with others when given the opportunity. (And in forms other than this blog. Hey. Why are you laughing?) And this year I had an excellent opportunity to spread my own little version of happiness and I totally took fully advantage of said opportunity (seemingly to the delight of others; which was the point.) I also try to enjoy those around me and those in my life and give them just one day where their obvious shortcomings don't annoy me. That's my way of spreadin' the joy. That alone makes others grateful as well.

(You know, I really do have more heartfelt feelings about people in my life than I either care to admit or am capable of expressing without either scaring the other person or becoming inadvertently engaged to four different individuals when I'm done.)

So Merry Christmas. Now go spread some cheer. Or some love. Or both. You've got the whole rest of the year for all of the other crap. Today? Love, cheer, and thanks. Spread a little of that around, will ya? It's Christmas, for cryin' out loud!

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Word!

Not very long ago, as you may or may not care to remember, the folks over at the New Oxford American Dictionary had proclaimed "hypermiling" to be the Word of the Year for 2008. Again, as you may or may not care to remember, hypermiling is the practice of trying to squeeze the maximum miles per gallon out of your vehicle by doing things such as driving without shoes (and, from my experience driving behind morons who I assume to be attempting this, driving 15-20 miles per hour below the speed limit. On the freeway. In the far left lane. And always, always in front of ME! That last one there is, apparently, a pre-requisite for anyone hypermiling. You must be in front of me AND I must be in a hurry. Yep, without those, you're just wasting your own time and none of mine.).

But I assumed that the Word of the Year was just that. THE word of the year. I didn't know that there was more than one Word of the Year. Doesn't having more than one Word of the Year automatically devalue the entire Word of the Year honor? I think it does. It really can't even be called Word of the Year, as that implies just one and there would appear to be more than one. One of the Words of the Year would be more appropriate. And you'd think that, since this is coming from a bunch of "word folks" that they would want the definition of what a Word of the Year actually is to match with it being just one word. But they don't seem to care. (And I've got news for them. Not a lot of other people care either. I do, but I hardly make up the majority. Thank God.)

The Merriam-Webster (which happens to be my favorite Webster. Right ahead of that little guy int he 80s sitcom) Dictionary has released their Word of the Year. It's not as bad as "hypermiling", but at least it is a word. The MWDWOTY is......(insert drum roll here)........(All right, knock it off. You can't even play the drums, can you? Gimme those sticks!)........bailout. Wait. That's it?

That's it. Bailout. Your 2008 Word of the Year courtesy of Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. A little anti-climactic, eh? I felt the same way. But the folks over there at the ol' MW are pretty happy about it. (Their job is the dictionary. They get excited when it's 1:15 in the afternoon.) They say that they determine the word of the year "....based on users' anonymous hits to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary and Online Thesaurus." And then the word "that received the highest intensity of lookups over the shortest period of time" is the winner and subsequent Word of the Year. Congratulations to you, "bailout".

According to a one John Morse who is the president and publisher of Merriam-Webster Inc., "This year's presidential campaign produced voluminous hits for words like 'vet,' 'bipartisan,' 'misogyny,' and the word used to describe both candidates on the Republican ticket, 'maverick.' " ('Voluminous' strangely absent on list of words garnering many searches.)

OK, wait a minute. Was 'misogyny' used frequently this year? I don't recall misogyny, a hatred for women, in the press all that often. And I am scouring the press daily (usually only to be disappointed at finding stories about long lost cats that have returned home, idiots in Florida assaulting other idiots with food products and many other products of craptastic journalism. It's crapalism.). I would recall if I saw a surge in 'misogyny' being used. Great. Now, not only is Merriam-Webster making up the whole Word of the Year thing to begin with (there isn't an official word of the year. What if I announced my own word of the year?! Would it hold any less weight than that of Merriam-Webster? Why, yes! It would. A considerable amount less! But it shouldn't! Because really, without an official Word of the Year, they're all the same.)

So, yeah, they also had a list of the 9 other 'also rans' for the MWDWOTY. Do you care any more than I do? I doubt it. But what about the Word of the Year in other countries? Now there is some intrigue for ya!

• Taiwan - Luan. Luan means chaos. In Taiwan, the WOTY is chosen by the people via a telephone voting system. (I'm picturing something similar to that of American Idol, because if it's good enough for Paula Abdul, it's good enough for Taiwan.)


• The Netherlands - Swaffelen. Ready for this? First of all, the Dutch are blaming this one on the English language, saying that it's "on loan". Uh-huh. Sure it is. Must be pretty bad if you're blaming English for it. (Actually, they can blame the voters, as the WOTY is left up to a vote by the people. I'm sure that whoever was in charge of this thing is seriously reconsidering that aspect of it.) "Swaffelen" is not for everyone. In fact, it's only for men, as they're the only ones who can do it. (Do you see where this is going? Straight to hell, that is correct.) The definition of "swaffelen" is "to swing one's penis, making it bump against something, in order to stimulate either oneself or someone else." Um....what? I can't believe that there is an "or" in that definition. "No, personally, I don't feel the need to be stimulated by swinging my penis around. But I could stimulate YOU with it! Come over here and I'll begin a-swaffelen for ya!" Really, all this does is beg the question, "My God, how long are penises in the Netherlands?"
  
  
• Japan - Hen. No, not the chicken. "Hen" means "change" in English. As in, "Please change the pronunciation of "change" in Japan so it does not sound like a chicken." The runners up for Japan's WOTY were "kin", which means "gold" and "raku", which seems to mean "relief or peace".


• Germany - Gammelfleischparty. Apparently that literally means "spoiled meat party", but in Germany it is "an unflattering term for a gathering of people over 30." Lovely! Just lovely! Oh, and what the hell?! It would seem that earlier in the year the word "gammelfleisch" (pretty, isn't it?) was in the news quite a bit when it was "...discovered that meat packers had been regularly supplying some kebab restaurants with past-due products." Ahhhh. I thought so! I thought that the kebab restaurants of Germany would be involved with this one somehow! (I'll give the Germans credit for having the most amusing WOTYs. In second place was the word "Bildschirmbraeune" which means "screen tan" as it refers to "...the complexion of someone who spends too much time at a computer." And in third place was "unterhopft," which means "underhopped," or "in need of a beer." Well, then! I am frequently "unterhopft!" I'm "unterhopft" right now!
  
  
• Germany (Yes. Again! Seems the word above was the German Youth WOTY. This is the German-German WOTY.) - "Finanzkrise." A financial crisis. No where near as fun as a spoiled meat party. Second place went to "verzockt" which means "squandered" and rounding out their top ten in tenth place was (and I am not kidding) "Yes, we can!" Of course, loosely translated, that means "We will elect Barack Obama as President of the US and then be completely surprised when our lives are still the same!" VERY loosely translated.
  
  
• Austria - "Lebensmensch." Although the word traditionally describes a close, important friendship, it has been given a more intimate meaning over there in Austria, that of a public acknowledgement of a homosexual relationship. Go Austria! (The term for that in the US was going to be Proposition 8, but...well...that didn't go so well.)

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Top 10 List of Memorable Quotes You Will Soon Forget

The folks over there at the Yale Book of Quotations have compiled a list of the Top 10 Quotes of 2008. In other news, there is a Yale Book of Quotations. And the number one quote was something that wasn't said by the person who was supposed to have said it and the person who did say it isn't really that person. Did you catch all that? If not, don't worry, it will all make sense by the end of this post. (And if it doesn't make sense by then, I don't know what to tell you. I didn't say it was a magic post.)

Now, although it's a "Top Ten" list, there are three quotes that tied for tenth. I am not a fan of the tie; neck or things that are the same. I find it odd that it was the last spot on the list that they had trouble narrowing down the final candidates for. They just couldn't bear to leave at least two of those three off of the list. Let's see if they did the right thing (I'm guessing they did not).

• Number 10: "Anyone who says we're in a recession, or heading into one, especially the worst one since the Great Depression, is making up his own private definition of 'recession.' Those words of incorrect wisdom from commentator Donald Luskin on September 14. Oh, and that was the day right before Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy. You know, because of the recession that we're not having.
  
  
• Number 10 - AGAIN: "Cash for trash." That came from Paul Krugman on the topic of the bailout of the financial companies on Sept. 22.
  
  
• Number 10 - YET AGAIN: "There are no atheists in foxholes and there are no libertarians in financial crises." That's Paul Krugman again. (Did he compile this list? They had to have two quotes by the same guy tie for Number Ten??) He was being interviewed by Bill Maher for HBO's "Real Time" which was aired on Sept. 19

OK, nothing personal Yale Book of Quotations That We Never Knew Existed Guys, but those kind of sucked. I know they were Number Ten and all, but they weren't great. They were far from memorable. I mean, all I'm going to remember is that they kind of sucked and somehow I don't think that's what you had in mind.

• Number 9: "Barack, he's talking down to black people. ... I want to cut his nuts off." That was July 6 when Rev. Jesse Jackson learned that he should always make sure his mike isn't live before he starts making comments that he think won't be heard on the air at Fox News.

Now we're talking! That was memorable! Next!

• Number 8: "I'll see you at the debates, bitches." How hot was Paris Hilton when she made that video in response to one of John McCain's TV ads for his campaign. Probably pretty hot, but only because it was in August.


• Number 7: "Maybe 100." That was John McCain on Jan. 3. Would you like to take a guess as to what he was referring to? No, not his age. He was speculating at the number of years that US troops could continue to remain in Iraq. (Ouch!)


• Number 6: "Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency." Allow me to translate that: When the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act was proposed by the Treasury Department in Sept. 2008, what they were saying was one guy will be in charge of the $700 billion and he can do with it whatever he wants and no one can say any different, including the Federal Government or the Supreme Court. (Be prepared to see that quote in the list of Top Ten Most Frightening Quotes of 2008 when it comes out.)


• Number 5: "The fundamentals of America's economy are strong." What would have been even more memorable after John McCain said that during an interview with folks at Bloomberg TV on April 17 would have been if he had explained himself instead of letting people think he was a moron for saying that. What he was saying was and is correct. America's economy has a solid foundation. That doesn't mean it won't falter. But the fundamentals of what builds our economy are strong. You just don't say things like that when every other house in the country is being foreclosed on. And you don't do that because why? Because you'll look like an idiot, that is correct.
  
  
• Number 4: "It's not based on any particular data point, we just wanted to choose a really large number." Why, yes! I did mock that particular quote in an earlier post! Anything that ridiculous deserves to be mocked (and by people who are a lot better at it than I am). That little gem was brought to us by Forbes.com on Sept. 23. Now if Forbes.com would only do a follow up article explaining what else they do over at the Treasury Department that seems to involve little more than throwing a bunch of darts at a board with big numbers on it. (I hear they take shots at a pinata when they're trying to figure out what to do with the prime interest rate.)
  

• Number 3: "We have sort of become a nation of whiners." That was one of John McCain's former economic advisers, former Sen. Phil Gramm as quoted on July 10 in The Washington Times. (Number 3 Most Memorable Follow Up Question: "SORT OF?!?!?")

• Number 2: "All of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years." OK, that one was pretty good! A one Governor Sarah Palin was describing what newspapers and magazines she reads after she was asked the question by Katie Couric during an interview in which Gov. Palin seemed barely able to utter a coherent sentence, as evidenced by the quote above. The cringe-worthy interview was aired on Oct. 1.
  
  

• And finally, the Number One Memorable Quote for 2008 is: "And I can see Russia from my house!" Ah...the brilliance of comedy imitating life. That was a very funny one Tina Fey during the first Saturday Night Live skit where she played Gov. Sarah Palin opposite a very funny one Amy Poehler in the role of Sen. Hillary Clinton. Fey/Palin was responding to the Poehler/Clinton statement, "I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy." That instant classic aired on NBC on Sept. 13, but you can view it below. The Number One Memorable Quote for 2008 appears right around 1:25 into the classic bit.
  
  

And those are the Top Ten Memorable Quotes for 2008. "Can you believe it, Hillary?"

"I can-not!"

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The List of Complicated Lists

All I wanted to do was write a post about the Top 10 Google searches of 2008. How hard could that possibly be? Well, I should have known that while it would be simple to get A Top 10 list, that wouldn't necessarily mean that I would only have ONE to choose from. And God bless those Google boys, because I just love 'em, but must everything they do be so danged all encompassing? There needs to be an option on the Google home page for what kind of search you'd like to perform. Retard, Basic, Normal, Advanced, Geek, and Google-boy. Then the number and variety of your results would be filtered and you would come up with something that you didn't have to sift through (unless you're a sifter and enjoy a daily sifting. Some do. Who am I to judge?)

Ah, but then I found the Google Zeitgeist (bless you) 2008. A "zeitgeist" is defined as "the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era." Google, however, defines "zeitgeist" as "the spirit of the times." That's a little simpler, but it sounds kinda folksy. And when Sarah Palin didn't win and went back to Alaska, folksy went back with her. But if you're speaking strictly of that "spirit" Google says that they "reveal this spirit through the aggregation of millions of search queries we receive every day." How spirited of them, yes? Well, let's get into that spirit and start listing zeitgeists (or something like that). Here we go...

The 10 Fastest Rising Searches Globally:

• 10. Jonas Brothers
• 9. Euro 2008
• 8. Wer Kennt Wen
• 7. Nasza Klasa
• 6. Obama
• 5. Heath Ledger
• 4. Tuenti
• 3. Facebook login
• 2. Beijing 2008
  

And the Number One Fastest Rising Search around the world was for:

• 1. Sarah Palin

OK, I even don't know what half of those are.

• Wer Kennt Wen is apparently a German social networking site. (Wow. I would have expected it to be Chinese or Indian, because there are a heck of a lot of people in those countries and that would make sense for it to be the Number 8 search around the world. But Germany? Really? Who knew?)
  
  
• Nasza Klasa is a large social networking platform for people in Poland. (Again, who knew? Aside from the people in Poland. Anyone? Anyone? I thought so.)
  
  
• Tuenti is a what? A social networking site, that is correct! It's out of Madrid and it's been called what? The Spanish Facebook, that is also correct! (Now, how come Tuenti is the Spanish Facebook, but Wer Kennt Wen isn't the "German Facebook" and Nasza Klasa isn't the "Polish Facebook"? That I don't get at all.)
  

Another thing I don't get (that's actually related to this post) is Number Three, "Facebook login". Perhaps all of these folks who are doing a search for "Facebook login" should make their next search terms be "bookmarks for your web browser". I don't get it. That many people would rather take the time to go through Google and search for "Facebook login" than they would just, on a whim of fancy, try Facebook dot com and see what the heck happens? I'm confused. Not as confused as those folks, but confused none the less. (Don't get me wrong. I know there are a ton of morons out there. But now they're morons with computers and they're trying to find Facebook. That means they'll be able to socially network with other computer using morons! Naturally, their headquarters will be located where? Florida, that is correct.)

What else do we have for 2008 searches? The questions, oh, the questions! The "What is?" The "Who is?" The "How to"? All of which are presumably asked by people who can't find Facebook to login. Let's see how they fared in these categories, shall we?

Top Ten Google Searches Asking "What Is....."?

• 10. Art
• 9. 3g
• 8. Lupus
• 7. Autism
• 6. Scientology
• 5. RSS
• 4. SAP
• 3. JAVA
• 2. Life
• 1. Love
  

More people want to know what love is than want to know what life is. That's telling. It's also amusing that the top "What is" question is one that doesn't really have an answer. Which leads me to the alternate number one question: "Why bother?" (With the question, that is. Go ahead and bother with love all you want. I hear it's fabulous. Actually, I kid. It is absolutely fabulous. )

The Top Ten Google Searches Asking "Who is....?"

• 10. Martin Luther
• 9. Biden
• 8. Chris Brown
• 7. Jonas Brothers
• 6. Dolla
• 5. Miley Cyrus
• 4. Lil Wayne
• 3. Palin
• 2. McCain
• 1. Obama

Wow. How I envy those who had to ask who Miley Cyrus was. What a life you people must lead! I am definitely jealous of that. (I really wish that the Lil Wayne question had been "Just how lil is he? What are we talking about? One foot? Two feet? Six inches? How lil?)

Top Ten Google Searches asking "How to...?"

• 10. Spell
• 9. Paint
• 8. Cite
• 7. Run
• 6. Hack
• 5. Tie
• 4. Cook
• 3. Write
• 2. Kiss
• 1. Draw

You people want to know what love is so badly that you made it Number One up there, but "How to kiss" is only Number Two on this list?! I'm not saying that knowing how to kiss is going to help you figure out what love is, but it isn't going to hurt. I'm just saying. Because if you can't kiss, you're going to have a hard time finding a date, let alone finding out what love is.

For the Top Ten Sports Searches of 2008, they only listed 5 teams for each of the five semi-major sports. (Come on! Soccer?!?! It's hardly a major sport in the US unless you're 11.) Here are the Top Five Baseball Team Searches for 2008:

• 5. Mets
• 4. Phillies
• 3. Cubs
• 2. Yankees
• 1. Red Sox (Yes, I listed the baseball ones just for you. I couldn't list the football ones! My Niners weren't on it!)

Here's what I find the most fascinating about all of these end of the year lists. From what I can tell, the Internet serves three general purposes and/or functions. Those three things are 1) News and Information, b) Social Networking (apparently, given the lists above) and 3) Porn. Porn, porn, porn! That's all you ever hear about and it's half of what you see online! Porn! Yet there is no mention whatsoever in any of these lists about porn. (Go ahead. If you want to call "social networking" the same as "porn" you can. I'll still think you're a moron, but you can call it that if you'd like. Moron.) I mean, my question right now is the same question that I would have thought would have been the Number One Question! That would be "Where's the porn?!" Seriously! I did a Google Image Search for "Google Searches" and what was my first result? THIS:

I'll be more interested in the Google Zeitgeist (bless you) during a non-election year because so many things were centered around that and all it involved. (Take one hot Governor from the middle of the frozen tundra, spoof her up on Saturday Night Live for a few weeks and the next thing you know? BAM! Suddenly everyone has election fever!) Of course, that won't be for another year and by then, I'm sure that Google will have tweaked their Zeitgeist (bless you) to where it will show us what our own personal Top Ten searches were. THEN we'll see the search results for all of the porn. I guarantee it.

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Hurry Up And Vote Already!

Finally! Oh, my God, finally! It is Election Day in the United States and I cannot say this loud enough, get out there and effing vote! Hurry! Just get it over with. Vote early, vote often! (Oh, but I kid! One ballot per person!) I read somewhere that Barry has been campaigning for right around 640 days. That means that you and I and everyone else had to read or hear about every single freaking one of those 640 days. And I for one am not thinking about making it 641. No way, I have had it! I am over this thing! The country could slip into a state of prolonged anarchy and I'd be OK with it as long as I didn't have to hear "My friends" or "Change" or "Lipstick" or (Seriously, where the hell is Joe Biden?).

And over here in the lovely extension of Mexico, otherwise known as California, it will mean the end, the glorious end to the Proposition 8 chaos that seems to have brought out the absolute worst in anyone who is willing to publicly associate themselves with it. Proposition 8 is the one that, if it passes it would essentially ban gay marriage. If it doesn't pass, then the legally sanctioned carnal fornication between homosexual couples will be allowed to continue.

I have to say I've been extremely disappointed by folks on both sides of the Prop 8 issue. Those who are in favor of Prop 8 (anti gay marriage folks) have been running ads, passing out flyers and spewing information that is bordering on fear mongering. They present their arguments as fact and as realistic possibilities when discussing the possible repercussions of Prop 8 failing and allowing gay couples to continue their hedonistic lifestyles. While I will credit them for expanding their focus wider than the tried and true "you're going to burn in hell" proclamation, they really should have not been so manipulative with their arguments.

And on the side of the folks who are against Prop 8, you folks just need to calm down. You can't be screaming at someone who is for Prop 8 that they are homophobic and anti-gay and full of, ironically, hate and rage and that they discriminate against homosexuals because they're bigots. First of all, don't scream. At anyone. It makes you look like an idiot. Second, just because someone is for Prop 8 doesn't mean that they're homophobic or that they hate homosexuals. Throwing around words like that when you are just angry only serves to make those whom you're hurling the words at angry. And a bunch of angry people who may or may not be either gay or homophobic is never a good thing. (Unless you need an angry mob, in which case it will work just fine.)

And both sides, listen up. Stop stealing each other's signs, for cryin' out loud! What are you? Ten? Don't steal their sign! What is wrong with you people? You want those who are not on your side of the issue to agree with you and the way that you do that is by stealing the other side's sign? Oh, I'm sure that's a great way to get them to see that you're perfectly reasonable and they should be clamoring to climb atop your soap box. No, not so much. This could be not pleasant after the polls have closed, I'm afraid. Regardless of which side wins, the side that does not win needs to keep it's head and act in a dignified way. Put the torches and pitchforks away and accept your loss under our fabulous and only slightly flawed Democratic system.

So vote how you want on Prop 8, but just be a grown up about it, OK? Next up...chickens.

Yes, chickens. Prop 2 is basically giving chickens that are raised for egg production room to move around. Apparently, some of these egg laying chickens are shoved into a little tiny cage where they can't even move their useless wings. That's just wrong. And I was implored yesterday by a very reasonable individual who felt very strongly that Prop 2 should pass so that the chickens can roam about the coop and continue to shoot out eggs all the live long day. (I'd really like the meet the guy who first ate an egg. How that guy had the guts to do that, I'll never know. Think about it. He's sitting there. He sees the chicken lay an egg. He thinks to himself, "Wow. Look at where that came from. I know, I'll EAT it!" Nope, the incredible, edible egg would have gone unnoticed had I been predestined to be the first egg eater, I'll tell you that right now.)

And it's not just chickens, though that's the easiest example to put out there. It's all animals that are involved in the production of themselves for food . They all need room to move around before we kill them and eat them. Think of it as our way of saying, "Sorry that we're going to be doing that to you in a little while, but you're so damned tasty, we really don't have a choice. But we'll let you move around a bit until it's time to off you." See? When it's put that way, it seems way more humane, doesn't it?

But aside from giving the little chickies and other animals room to move, it will ease the anxieties of my Prop 2 friend, who claims to be kept up at night, whether it be from not being able to sleep or from nightmares of chickens in squashed cages with a large Fagan-like character shouting at them to lay their eggs faster. You don't want any of those things. No squashed chickens. No yelling. No animal loving friend of mine kept up at night worrying about flightless fowl. It works out for everyone. (How'd I do?)

Now get! Get! Go effing vote already! It's almost over!

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Google Hot Trends for April 30, 2008

I was going to list a few of the Hot Trends for the last day of April. But as I was looking at the list of the Top 100 Hot Trends for the day I realized a couple of things. One, Google really should consider doing a Hot Trends Monthly version. Just to see how much of the daily randomness would repeat itself throughout the month. Two, they need to find a way to combine all of the Hot Trends for a day that are the same but show up as separate items because of the spelling. Like with Def Leppard yesterday. There was "def leopard" and "deaf leopard". Both wrong, but both the same fabulous group of guys from the 80s.

But that brings me to the Hot Trends for April 30. There are many, many repetitive entries that should be combined into one. Those would be:

• Paula Abdul. Paula had a bit of a brain cramp on American Idol Tuesday night, when she was giving her opinion. (I use that term loosely. Can this woman ever finish a complete sentence AND have it make sense? You know when you put your iPod on "Shuffle" and it just randomly picks out songs? When Paula speaks, it's like someone put her vocabulary on "Shuffle". You never know what's coming out nor in what order.) Paula started off reviewing Jason's first song and then she continued on to review the second song that he sang. The problem? He only sang one song. Oooh. Awkward. And people wanted to know about that by phrasing it many different ways. 7 of the Top 100 were Paula Abdul.
  
  
• American Idol. This could probably be grouped with the Paula Abdul one, only it seems as if the searches for Idol were interested in who got booted off, so it's going to be separate. 8 of the Top 100 were American Idol related.
  
  
• Any of the Top Five American Idol finalists or the two Musical Guest Artists (Neil Diamond and Natasha Bedingfield tonight) could be grouped into a category in the Top 100 Hot Trends. 8 of the Top 100 Trends would be in this category.

Those three alone total 23 spots on the list. That makes the Top 100 Hot Trends more like the Top 80 Hot Trends. But it's not like the American Idol related trends are the only ones that repeat.

• There were 5 related to Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream (single scoops of ice cream were 31 cents tonight. The line went around the freaking building at the one over here.).
  
  
• There were 5 related to Sean Avery (New York Rangers hockey forward who was initially thought to have had a heart attack, but that report was later changed to a "ruptured spleen". Those two seem pretty different to me, but what do I know? I don't even like hockey.)
  
  
• There were 5 related to the Federal Reserve board (There was talk that the Fed was going to lower interest rates again. They did not disappoint and lowered the interest rate by a quarter of a point so that prime is now at 2 percent. Again, how does this help? Anything?)

By combining the above three categories into just 3 items, we are now at the Top 68 Hot Trends. This is starting to seem a little useless. And that's disappointing because I love The Goog. I hate to bag on them, but come on. 68 is not 100. Even Paula Abdul could agree with that.

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Google Trends April 29, 2008

Today's Google Hot Trends are odd. Especially the top 20. You know, for such a wide variety of search topics, presumably made by people who want to know more about said topic, we sure are a nation of idiots in a lot of ways. Go figure.

• #1 keoni kai lucas (Apparently the co-founder of the Puinsai Clothing Company. Yep, right up until his car collided with a tree in Santa Monica, CA on April 27, 2008.)
  
  
• #2 homophone (Seriously? Number TWO Hot Trend of the day? A homophone?)
  
  
• #4 hcg diet (Extreme calorie reduction along with injections of human chorionic gonadotrophic hormone, the hcg. Huh. I see.)
  
  
• #5 anwar (That's it. Just anwar. WTF?)
  
  
• #6 charles nelson riley (The gay Match Game guy? Again, WTF?)
  
  
• #8 butterfly with hiccups (No clue. Sounds too cutesy for me to even feign interest.)
  
  
• #14 def leopard (This one I can fathom. They were on 'Dancing With The Stars' tonight, which I cannot fathom. Clearly a new phenomenon to most doing the trendy searching as it is spelled Def Leppard.)
  
  
• #17 a full cup (Please don't ask of what? I don't know.)
  
  
• #42 synonym of too (At NUMBER FORTY TWO?!?! OF HOT TRENDS?!?!)
  
  
• #87 john daly shirtless (I've seen it. Trust me. It's not pretty. Avert your eyes. Never look directly at it.)
  
  
• #100 american idol april 29 (They did Neil Diamond songs. Paula thought they did more Neil Diamond songs than they actually did. Oh, like you're surprised?)
  

And as long as I'm on the subject of Hot Trends, here's something that you should really consider making a hot trend of your own. UtahFM.org. From the UtahFM.org website: The best programming in Utah comes from community-driven, independent and enthusiastic Utah Free Media (UtahFM). With over 30 years experience creating interesting and engaged content, UtahFM is uniquely positioned to provide high-quality, high-enjoyment content via the Internet. We are, and always have been, listener and volunteer driven, and aim to serve as the community's host radio station. Listen as the feed flows, or pick your favorite shows from our archive for an adventure of your own choosing.

Good music from good people. There's a link on the right under the 'Linkage' heading. (I'm sure that they'll be linking to me any moment now. I can feel it!)

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