The WOTY is What Now?

It's Word of the Year time! The WOTY! (Good Lord, if I ever use the term 'WOTY' again just in just a casual context like I just did, please shoot me.) Every year, for some reason (and I'm blaming The Internets), the Oxford English Dictionary, the ol' OED gives us what they have deemed the Word of the Year. They are, apparently, the only ones who get any say in this sort of thing. I'm actually glad about that because if it were left up to the general public to vote, the Word of the Year would almost always be something like "hella" or "piehole", both of which barely qualify for words as it is, let alone Word of the Year. What I'm not so glad about was this year's winner.

And the Word of the Year as dubbed so by the folks over there at the Oxford English Dictionary and no matter what you say is.......

UNFRIEND

Wait. What now? "Unfriend"? You mean as in to remove someone from your Facebook because they were being a douche to you? I thought it was "defriend". What in the hell is "unfriend"? Well, according to the Oxford University Press (that would be those who do the OED), "unfriend" is "defriend". And while according to OUP that "unfriend" is "defriend", according to me, "unfriend" is wrong.

If I were the only one to think that it should be "defriend" instead of "unfriend" it probably would not stop me from ranting about it. But I am not the only one who thinks that it should be "defriend". In fact, so many people were doing the Scooby head tilt at this one that they asked the OED people what they were thinking how they came to this conclusion. According to a story over there at ABC News, a one Lauren Appelwick, a publicist with Oxford University Press, Inc., said, "Unfriend was chosen because it's much more common than defriend." She also stated that she "couldn't elaborate on Oxford's methodology." Right. Because if we all knew how you came up with the lame-ass "unfriend" as being more popular than "defriend" then we'd all be going out there and doing our own word popularity studies. Uh, no. (Translation: We blew it, but we're not telling you that. "Unfriend" is our story and we're sticking to it.)

She added that "It's funny because there seem to be little clusters of people who have never heard the word "unfriend,"...but added that research indicated that "unfriend is far, far more popular." Yeah. It's funny, all right. Hilarious. Hmm...I don't know about folks who have never heard of the word "unfriend" (that seems completely unlikely unless those "clusters" are folks who are over eighty), but you know who doesn't use the word "unfriend"? That would be a one Chris Hughes. Who now?

Chris Hughes. You've probably heard of what he's accomplished rather than who he is. He's one of the three guys who invented freaking Facebook. According to Syracuse.com, Hughes says “I was surprised that that was the word that they’ve chosen." The article also stated that "Hughes says that’s the term he and his friends use" and "Instead of “unfriend,” he would have gone with “defriend.” But, the OED folks did extensive research that they're not going to explain to us, but we're supposed to take their word that all of us who have only used "defriend" are in the minority (perhaps even in the "clusters" with the oldsters). Whatevers.

Over there at the Oxford University Press blog, we learn that according to a one Christine Lindberg, Senior Lexicographer for Oxford’s US dictionary program. “It has both currency and potential longevity. In the online social networking context, its meaning is understood, so its adoption as a modern verb form makes this an interesting choice for Word of the Year." Oh, it's an interesting choice all right...because it's wrong!

In order to make the incorrect choice of "unfriend" for Word of the Year, the OED folks had to sift through some other words which they held in contention for the title. Of those, I have heard of most of them. The ones that I don't think I have ever heard used in the mainstream lexicon of English speech would include:

intexticated - distracted because texting on a cellphone while driving a vehicle (See, I don't call this behavior "intexticated", I call this "being a dumbass".)

choice mom - a person who chooses to be a single mother (Sooooo....lesbian?)

deleb - a dead celebrity (I have never run across this term being used anywhere. And really, after the 24/7 coverage that went on way too long covering the demise of Jacko, I'd really prefer that they don't refer to them as any particular term and that they just stop talking about it, for cryin' out loud.)

paywall - a way of blocking access to a part of a website which is only available to paying subscribers (Yeah, the term is pay wall, not paywall. Oh, but don't worry. It really is "unfriend"!)


Other words in the running which I am thankful did not take top honors included:

birther - a conspiracy theorist who challenges President Obama’s birth certificate (Translation: Moron.)

death panel - a theoretical body that determines which patients deserve to live, when care is rationed. (Theoretical? Shouldn't that be hypothetical? I don't know of a scenario in which that theory would be applicable. But don't worry! It's unfriend! For sure!)

And my personal favorite: teabagger - a person, who protests President Obama’s tax policies and stimulus package, often through local demonstrations known as “Tea Party” protests (in allusion to the Boston Tea Party of 1773)

Yeah, that's not quite exactly what folks are meaning when they're using the term "teabagger". See, I think that the term that the OED folks are looking for is teapartier or teapartier. See, a "teabagger" is a somewhat derogatory term due to the fact that it's a slang term meaning to place one’s scrotum on the face, eyes or mouth of an unsuspecting person. It is in no way a pleasant experience for the one getting "teabagged" (as the description would imply. A scrotum that isn't yours in your face? Very unpleasant indeed.)

But again, don't worry! They're sure that it's "unfriend".

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Word!

Not very long ago, as you may or may not care to remember, the folks over at the New Oxford American Dictionary had proclaimed "hypermiling" to be the Word of the Year for 2008. Again, as you may or may not care to remember, hypermiling is the practice of trying to squeeze the maximum miles per gallon out of your vehicle by doing things such as driving without shoes (and, from my experience driving behind morons who I assume to be attempting this, driving 15-20 miles per hour below the speed limit. On the freeway. In the far left lane. And always, always in front of ME! That last one there is, apparently, a pre-requisite for anyone hypermiling. You must be in front of me AND I must be in a hurry. Yep, without those, you're just wasting your own time and none of mine.).

But I assumed that the Word of the Year was just that. THE word of the year. I didn't know that there was more than one Word of the Year. Doesn't having more than one Word of the Year automatically devalue the entire Word of the Year honor? I think it does. It really can't even be called Word of the Year, as that implies just one and there would appear to be more than one. One of the Words of the Year would be more appropriate. And you'd think that, since this is coming from a bunch of "word folks" that they would want the definition of what a Word of the Year actually is to match with it being just one word. But they don't seem to care. (And I've got news for them. Not a lot of other people care either. I do, but I hardly make up the majority. Thank God.)

The Merriam-Webster (which happens to be my favorite Webster. Right ahead of that little guy int he 80s sitcom) Dictionary has released their Word of the Year. It's not as bad as "hypermiling", but at least it is a word. The MWDWOTY is......(insert drum roll here)........(All right, knock it off. You can't even play the drums, can you? Gimme those sticks!)........bailout. Wait. That's it?

That's it. Bailout. Your 2008 Word of the Year courtesy of Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. A little anti-climactic, eh? I felt the same way. But the folks over there at the ol' MW are pretty happy about it. (Their job is the dictionary. They get excited when it's 1:15 in the afternoon.) They say that they determine the word of the year "....based on users' anonymous hits to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary and Online Thesaurus." And then the word "that received the highest intensity of lookups over the shortest period of time" is the winner and subsequent Word of the Year. Congratulations to you, "bailout".

According to a one John Morse who is the president and publisher of Merriam-Webster Inc., "This year's presidential campaign produced voluminous hits for words like 'vet,' 'bipartisan,' 'misogyny,' and the word used to describe both candidates on the Republican ticket, 'maverick.' " ('Voluminous' strangely absent on list of words garnering many searches.)

OK, wait a minute. Was 'misogyny' used frequently this year? I don't recall misogyny, a hatred for women, in the press all that often. And I am scouring the press daily (usually only to be disappointed at finding stories about long lost cats that have returned home, idiots in Florida assaulting other idiots with food products and many other products of craptastic journalism. It's crapalism.). I would recall if I saw a surge in 'misogyny' being used. Great. Now, not only is Merriam-Webster making up the whole Word of the Year thing to begin with (there isn't an official word of the year. What if I announced my own word of the year?! Would it hold any less weight than that of Merriam-Webster? Why, yes! It would. A considerable amount less! But it shouldn't! Because really, without an official Word of the Year, they're all the same.)

So, yeah, they also had a list of the 9 other 'also rans' for the MWDWOTY. Do you care any more than I do? I doubt it. But what about the Word of the Year in other countries? Now there is some intrigue for ya!

• Taiwan - Luan. Luan means chaos. In Taiwan, the WOTY is chosen by the people via a telephone voting system. (I'm picturing something similar to that of American Idol, because if it's good enough for Paula Abdul, it's good enough for Taiwan.)


• The Netherlands - Swaffelen. Ready for this? First of all, the Dutch are blaming this one on the English language, saying that it's "on loan". Uh-huh. Sure it is. Must be pretty bad if you're blaming English for it. (Actually, they can blame the voters, as the WOTY is left up to a vote by the people. I'm sure that whoever was in charge of this thing is seriously reconsidering that aspect of it.) "Swaffelen" is not for everyone. In fact, it's only for men, as they're the only ones who can do it. (Do you see where this is going? Straight to hell, that is correct.) The definition of "swaffelen" is "to swing one's penis, making it bump against something, in order to stimulate either oneself or someone else." Um....what? I can't believe that there is an "or" in that definition. "No, personally, I don't feel the need to be stimulated by swinging my penis around. But I could stimulate YOU with it! Come over here and I'll begin a-swaffelen for ya!" Really, all this does is beg the question, "My God, how long are penises in the Netherlands?"
  
  
• Japan - Hen. No, not the chicken. "Hen" means "change" in English. As in, "Please change the pronunciation of "change" in Japan so it does not sound like a chicken." The runners up for Japan's WOTY were "kin", which means "gold" and "raku", which seems to mean "relief or peace".


• Germany - Gammelfleischparty. Apparently that literally means "spoiled meat party", but in Germany it is "an unflattering term for a gathering of people over 30." Lovely! Just lovely! Oh, and what the hell?! It would seem that earlier in the year the word "gammelfleisch" (pretty, isn't it?) was in the news quite a bit when it was "...discovered that meat packers had been regularly supplying some kebab restaurants with past-due products." Ahhhh. I thought so! I thought that the kebab restaurants of Germany would be involved with this one somehow! (I'll give the Germans credit for having the most amusing WOTYs. In second place was the word "Bildschirmbraeune" which means "screen tan" as it refers to "...the complexion of someone who spends too much time at a computer." And in third place was "unterhopft," which means "underhopped," or "in need of a beer." Well, then! I am frequently "unterhopft!" I'm "unterhopft" right now!
  
  
• Germany (Yes. Again! Seems the word above was the German Youth WOTY. This is the German-German WOTY.) - "Finanzkrise." A financial crisis. No where near as fun as a spoiled meat party. Second place went to "verzockt" which means "squandered" and rounding out their top ten in tenth place was (and I am not kidding) "Yes, we can!" Of course, loosely translated, that means "We will elect Barack Obama as President of the US and then be completely surprised when our lives are still the same!" VERY loosely translated.
  
  
• Austria - "Lebensmensch." Although the word traditionally describes a close, important friendship, it has been given a more intimate meaning over there in Austria, that of a public acknowledgement of a homosexual relationship. Go Austria! (The term for that in the US was going to be Proposition 8, but...well...that didn't go so well.)

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It Could Have Been Worse

The Word of The Year that I mentioned the other day? What was it? Oh, yeah. Hypermiling. OK, that's just horrible and we all know it. It could have been worse. Leave it to the Brits to try and out-bad each other. The folks over there at the Collins English Dictionary (founded and published by Joan Collins, that is correct) have announced the new words that they will be including in the 30th anniversary edition of their dictionary which will be published next year. Apparently, even the annual adding of asinine terms hasn't prevented them from staying in the word biz for 30 years. Shocking, I know. The new inclusion which, according to the folks at the South Florida Sun Sentinel, was " generating a surprising amount of enthusiasm among lexicographers" (I'd really like to know what a bunch of excited lexicographers looks like!) is (drum roll, please)...meh. No, really. Meh. I'm not bored. That's the word. That's the inclusion. In the freaking dictionary. Meh. (It's true. We really are doomed.)

The thing about 'meh' that you meh or meh not find interesting (I couldn't resist) is that it's "origins are murky". (But are they purposefully murky? That's my question. I can't say I'd be rushing around proclaiming that I was responsible for 'meh'. Other words? Sure. I have a list of words I'd really like to have been responsible for. But 'meh'? I don't think so.) It would seem that the evildoers at work here would be none other than "The Simpsons". Wait. What?

Correct. Apparently, there was an episode in a 2001 "in which Homer suggests a day trip to his children Bart and Lisa." "They both just reply 'meh' and keep watching TV." I could see that. The Collins English Dictionary folks are going to be defining 'meh' as "an expression of indifference or boredom, or an adjective meaning mediocre or boring." They go on to say that 'meh' "originated in North America, spread through the Internet and was now entering British spoken English." As opposed to the English that the British only think about?

And once again, it would seem as though the Internet is partially to blame. The Internet and The Simpsons. Sending people to hell one small word at a time. The dictionary geeks tell us that "Internet forums and e-mail are playing a big part in formalizing the spellings of vocal interjections like these. A couple of other examples would be 'hmm' and 'heh.' " What about 'mmm'? As in "Mmm...pie." (You know, you could use 'pie' as a word that goes with any of those just to try them out. "Hmm...pie." See, that works! "Heh...pie." Works too! "Meh...pie." Well, now that's just silly because pie is certainly not 'meh'.)

But here's where it could have been worse. I know, I know, worse than that example I just gave? Sadly, (and surprisingly) yes. You see, "Collins...asked people to submit words they use in conversation that are not in the dictionary." It's a good thing they weren't asking me because I totally misunderstood what they were going for there and came up with a fairly inclusive list of salty, salty language. But they meant words that would be mostly acceptable, should you say them in public. (Say, like when you're in line at the post office and you have forgotten the address of the person to whom you are mailing a package. You rattle off a long line of some of the words that I came up with (that are, once again, not in the dictionary) and you're soon realizing that you're going to have to walk that package quite a distance to get it to your friend, as the post office people have asked you to leave and not return.)

But here's what we could have been stuck with:

• Jargonaut - A fan of jargon


• Frenemy - An enemy disguised as a friend


• Huggles - A hybrid of hugs and snuggles.

What the heck are those?! Those are horrible! And the worst ever is quite possibly that 'huggles' abomination there! It's too close to "Huggies". I don't care who you are, if you said 'huggles' to me, you'd find yourself on the wrong end of a 'slunch' and getting 'slunched' - a hybrid of slugged and punched.

And 'frenemy'? Wasn't that one of the characters on Fraggle Rock? But really now, who has actual 'enemies'? Are we all living in a James Bond movie these days? Sure, there are people that you just don't like, but they're not necessarily an 'enemy'. They could just be a bitch!

'Jargonaut'. That's just stretching it right there. Actually, 'jargon', while initially catchy, starts to grate on your nerves after a while. Thus, no one is really going ot like a 'jargonaut' in the long run. So you might as well just knock it off before you end up friendless and alone. Besides ruining what's left of your social life, it's just a dumb word to begin with. There are a lot of things to be 'a fan of', but you don't see people always adding the 'naut' to the end. You're not hearing 'pienaut' very much. Mmm...pie.

I do love good list, though. That seems to be clear. =)

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Speaking of Words

It's Word of the Year time again! No, it's not my invention. (Not that I'd admit it if even if it was, but it isn't, so I'm not. So there.) It's the concoction of the, surprise, New Oxford American Dictionary folks. (Actually, that is a little surprising. Isn't Oxford over there by London? That's not "new America". That's "old England". I don't get it.) Regardless, over there on the Oxford University Press blog, OUPblog (unique), they've announced that it's their "absolute favorite time of the year". Favorite time, eh? Huh. Interesting. They claim that they "prepare for the holidays" by making its "biggest announcement of the year", that being the unveiling of the WOTY, Word of the Year. You know, if announcing which word is the word for the whole year qualifies as their "biggest announcement", I'm guessing it's not all hustle and bustle around those offices during the other 364 days of each year. I'm just sayin'.

But back to the WOTY. (I absolutely hate that acronym. It's horrible. But I'm not about to type out "Word of the Year" every time I need to write it. So WOTY it is, but I'm not happy about it. Just so you know.) The dumbass word for the year 2008 is a word that takes things like thrift and a desire to conserve and takes them to a ridiculous extreme which is often at the expense of annoying (and frightening, in some cases) others. The word is......Hypermiling. Wait. It's what?

Hypermiling. According to the dude who coined the phrase, a one Wayne Hypermile Gerdes, to hypermile is "to attempt to maximize gas mileage by making fuel-conserving adjustments to one’s car and one’s driving techniques." Sounds like "driving slower", doesn't it? That's part of it, but that's only the most normal part. While it involves things such as driving at or below the speed limit, maintaining the correct tire pressure, not letting your vehicle idle and eliminating excess cargo (passengers do qualify as "excess cargo" in this case, yes), hypermiling also involves things such as:

• Driving without shoes (to increase the foot’s sensitivity on the pedals) (also known as "Driving home from the beach."),


• Parking so that you don’t have to back up to exit the space, and


• “Ridge-riding” or driving with your tires lined up with the white line at the edge of the road to avoid driving through water-filled ruts in the road when it’s raining.

Yes, driving with tires lined up on the white lines. Are you kidding me? I was under the impression that those "water filled ruts" on the road were so you didn't engage in another driving technique, that of hydroplaning! While it is true that you will be saving gasoline as your car glides atop the sheet of water without the tires even touching the asphalt and sails uncontrollably across the Interstate before careening into a semi-truck and bursting into an inferno of flames, it's really kind of worth it to use that extra tablespoon of gas and keep your damn tires on the freaking road! But that might just be me. It's hard to say. But whatever, that's your WOTY. Try not to kill yourself.

Interested in the WOTY Finalists? No? That's too bad. You're going to be a little disappointed right about now, because here they are:

• Frugalista: "A person who leads a frugal lifestyle, but stays fashionable and healthy by swapping clothes, buying second-hand, growing own produce, etc." (OK, when did "growing own produce" become "frugal" as opposed to "granola"?

• Moofer: "A mobile out of office worker – ie. someone who works away from a fixed workplace, via Blackberry/laptop/wi-fi etc." Sooooo...everyone? The moofers and the shakers? Isn't this what you yell when you have one of those hypermilers in front of you on the freeway? "Moofer to the right lane so I can pass you, you jackass!" Ah, I thought so!
  
  
• Topless meeting: "A meeting in which the participants are barred from using their laptops, Blackberries, cellphones, etc." So if you're a 'moofer', just be prepared to 'go topless'. For the good of the company, of course.
  
  Toxic debt: "Mainly sub-prime debts that are now proving so disastrous to banks." So, sub-prime mortgages? (Why do they do this? Are they trying to be all tricky? It doesn't work.)
  

And not only were the WOTY Finalists, there is also a WOTY Shortlist! They don't really tell you what the "shortlist" is exactly, but it seems to be perhaps the rest of the words that weren't good enough to make the finals, but were in the running at some point. They didn't make the finals because most of them are lame, but without them, it would have been a really short list. And when you're promoting your WOTY, you don't want to look stupid. Everyone knows that.

• Carrot mob: "A flashmob type of gathering, in which people are invited via the Net to all support and reward a local small ethical business such as a shop or café by all patronizing it at the same time. Also as noun, carrotmobbing." (Never heard of it. This is possibly something the WOTY folks made up to fill out the list of WOTY candidates.)
  
  
• Ecohacking: "The use of science in very large-scale projects to change the environment for the better/stop global warming (e.g. by using mirrors in space to deflect sunlight away from Earth)." Are we doing this? Where exactly are these big mirrors? Is that why it was so hot today? It's November, for cryin' out loud! Knock it off.)


• Hockey mom: This is self explanatory. ("Lipstick" noticeably absent from WOTY list.)
  
  



• Link bait: "Content on a website that encourages a user to place links to it from other websites." Huh. So it's not using sausages to catch fish. Interesting. Note to self....
  
  
• Luchador: "A wrestler, an exponent of lucha libre (Spanish for ‘free wrestling’.) They might mean "an opponent", as "an exponent" is a math notation designating the power of a number. But, then again, maybe it's right and it just means "powerful Mexican wrestling guy". Maybe.


• Rewilding: "The process of returning an area to its original wild state/flora/fauna etc." But what was it before it was "rewilded"? Is that process "dewilding"? "Unwilding"? "Miswilding"?


• Staycation: "Vacation taken at or near one’s home, taking day trips, etc." Also the last and least well-known installment of the Chevy Chase 'Vacation' movies.


• Tweet: "A short message sent via the Twitter service, using a cellphone or other mobile device." I thought that was 'Twittering". But it's 'tweet'? So to Twitter, you tweet? If you're tweeting, you're Twittering? If you tweeted, you've Twittered? Is there a Puddy Tat involved with this? It feels like there should be.
  
• Wardrobe: "Has become a verb, as in: Ms. Mendes has a long-standing relationship with the house of Calvin Klein and has been wardrobed by Calvin Klein Collection." So, "dressed"? "Wearing clothes"?

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