Monday, May 21, 2012

He Paints With What?

Look, all I know is that there's this guy who calls himself Pricasso because he paints pictures using only his wiener as a brush.  Well, that's not totally accurate.  It's just the brush strokes for which he uses his crank.  The backgrounds are all done by using butt cheek prints.  (Wow.  Versatile.)  The weirdest part?  (Yeah, it gets weirder.)  The weirdest part is that he's actually kind of good.  I mean, it seems like he's kind of good.  His pictures actually look like something.  The subject matter is certainly more recognizable than when a gorilla throws paint at a canvas and someone calls it art.  I am sort of basing this assessment solely on my perceived and assumed inability to be able to paint anything with my body parts, though.  There's a video of him doing his thing below.  Behold! 

OK, I don't know about you, but I don't know if I could ever actually buy one of this guy's paintings and have it in my house.  They're only fifty bucks each, which is quite a bargain for art these days!  But the fact doesn't change that the painting has had his schlong ALL OVER IT.  And really, I'm not looking to start that sort of trend in my home.  Just because it's OK for one guy to rub his wiener all over a canvas, does that mean it's OK if my guests start doing that as well?  (Yes, yes, I'm misanthropic.  But occasionally I'll have people over.  And occasionally, one of them will have a penis.  Do I want him getting out of line?  I think not.)  I can't even think about the butt cheeks part of this whole equation.  In some ways, I think that revolts me more than the penile painting does.  Seriously, what's wrong with a brush?  Couldn't he be quirky in some other way that doesn't involve genitalia?

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