Sunday, May 20, 2012

Poor Darwin

So, Fort Lee, New Jersey has gone ahead and banned texting whilst walking.  That's right.  While walking.  In the 'Land of the Free', you are no longer allowed to text while you're walking in Fort Lee, lest you end up with a $54 ticket.  It's actually technically when you're jaywalking, but that's a separate ticket in and of itself, so I'm not quite sure why they felt the need to add texting to it.  Then again, the entire idea is so completely asinine that it's probably pointless for me to try to make any sense of it at all.
According to MSNBC, "...Fort Lee saw three fatalities and more than 20 pedestrian accidents since the beginning of the year".  And that statement alone is enough for me to pose the question "Won't this thing eventually work itself out on its own?"  See, because I'm going to guess that the 20 pedestrians who were involved in an "accident" (whatever that means) aren't going to do it again if they were injured enough.  Stupid should hurt.  And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that those three people that were killed certainly won't be doing it again.  Why does the government need to be involved?  Why can't the "fine", instead of being $54, simply be a head injury when one walks into a pole because they weren't paying attention to where they were going?

What's that you say?  It's being done in the name of safety?  If that were actually true, there would be a lot less potentially dangerous things around us.  If people are so worried about safety, why isn't there a ban on backyard pools yet?  Those things are a death trap!  We should ban those in the name of safety.  What about exposure to the sun?  That's potentially dangerous, what with the skin cancer and all.  Why don't we have a law that you are required to use sunscreen before you go outdoors?  All in the name of safety!  We've gotta have that law, right?  What about when the temperature outside goes above ninety degrees?  Isn't there more of a potential for heat stroke at higher temperatures?  Shouldn't we have a law saying that you must stay inside in order to protect yourself when it's really hot?  All in the name of safety!  While we're at it, since we already have a seat belt law, why don't we add to that having drivers be required to wear helmets when driving.  I know that those would potentially spare dozens of lives that would otherwise be lost if the vehicle operator what helmetless.  Seriously, where in the hell does it stop? 

I can't believe that law even passed at all.  Maybe this Fort Lee, New Jersey just isn't a particularly bright town.  Three fatalities related to texting since January?  It's only May, for cryin' out loud.  And while I can find plenty Google search results about this law, I have yet to find any evidence that the people in Fort Lee are really so stupid that they end up getting killed due to texting while strolling about.  I did find this article, which does mention pedestrian deaths, but in no way alludes to them being related to texting.  Now, I'm not saying that the people who passed this law were being disingenuous in the name of safety.  I'm just saying that I can find no mention of it even occurring before this law passed.  Oh, well.  I guess if we're all going to be safer as a result, the reason shouldn't matter right?  God, we're so doomed.  

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