Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Relationship Status: Doomed

David's Bridal did some sort of online survey and found out that 49 percent of brides or brides-to-be answered 'yes' to whether or not they would change their Facebook relationship status to "Married" during their wedding.  During the wedding was determined to be at some point before the reception.  So I guess I could take that to mean that some of those brides just whipped their cell phone right on out of their corset as soon as they heard "I now pronounce you husband and wife".  I have no proof of that, but the whole concept seems so ridiculously insane to me to begin with that I really can't imagine that it wouldn't happen. 

After learning that slightly disturbing little factoid, I decided to check and see what the divorce rate in this country is at these days.  It's hovering just a little bit below 50% overall when you combine the divorce statistics from all of the categories (eg first marriage, second marriage, third marriage, what age you were during which marriage, etc.).  Huh.  That's right around the same percentage of people who feel the need to change their Facebook status before their freaking wedding ordeal is even over.  I realize that the divorce rate has been around 50% long before Facebook came around.  I'm not holding out any hope that it's going to go down anytime soon. 

Can there really be anything good that's going to come out of updating your Facebook status right smack dab in the middle of what is supposed to be one of the most important days of your life?  I can't imagine that there is.  See, the thing that those people don't quite understand is that it isn't all that important to everyone else what in the hell your Facebook status is.  I don't give a crap what any of my Facebook friends relationship statuses are.  Why would I?  And why would anyone else?  What Facebook says about your relationship status is so much less important than at least a hundred other things.  I'm not sure what this says about people, but I don't think that it's anything good. 

I'm going to be interested to see how the divorce rates are effected by Facebook in the coming years.  That is, provided that something new and cooler than Facebook doesn't make it obsolete.  (Hello?  MySpace?)  Actually, what would be cool is if we could track all of those dimwits who took the survey and said that they'd change their Facebook status before their wedding was over.  I want to know what their marital status is in five years.  I would be interested in seeing if it would be over 50% for that group of people.  I've got five bucks that says those marriage are doomed.  Doomed!  The rest of us aren't going to fare much better either if we have to be subjected to folks like that.  Facebook - Getting folks to take themselves way too seriously since 2004.

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