Tuesday, January 19, 2010

What Caused The Earthquake?

This Haiti thing has been the breeding grounds for ridiculous comments. First we have big, fat Rush Limbaugh shooting off of his mouth and saying that the only thing that you're going to get by donating for Haiti is that you'll end up on the White House mailing list. (Would that be such a bad thing, really? Maybe they have coupons like Bed, Bath and Beyond!) Then we have the (probably) completely senile (perhaps because his brain has been riddled by syphilis) Pat Robertson saying that the earthquake struck Haiti because the Haitians had made some sort of a deal with the Devil in order to get the French and Napoleon III out of town. (I'm still not really all that clear on what the Haitians were supposed to do to uphold their end of the bargain with the Devil. And I'm also not clear on how it is that suddenly the Devil has the power over earthquakes. I thought we left Mother Nature in charge of that. Did the Haitians back out of some sort of a deal with her?) And now we have another fruit loop to add to that mix. And it comes in the unlikely form of a one Danny Glover.

I'm pretty sure that Danny Glover hasn't been thinking straight for a while now. I'm guessing it all began probably right around when he signed up for that The Shaggy Dog movie, but it could have been much earlier (when were the Saw movies?). Anyway, Danny Glover had called into some show that was on something called GRITtv. I didn't have any idea what the heck that was either, so I checked out their website and found that "GRITtv with Laura Flanders is a new, news discussion and take-action show,available in multiple formats, with interactivity, a real relationship with news makers across the world, and a positive take on what's possible in the 21st Century." Now you know as much as I do.

I have the clip below. Mr. Glover begins spouting right around the 1:00 mark. I knew he was going to be a little bit wacky when he started off with ""I believe that this is going to be a defining moment for this administration. What we (something) for...in a new relationship, in a partnership with Haiti." Umm, OK?

I'm not sure how sending aid to another country (one that we're friendly with and all) like we tend to do is going to be a defining moment for President Barry's administration. I'm just not seeing it. Frankly, I'd prefer that a defining moment for any American President's administration be one that is directly related to helping the people of the nation over which the administration sees, but that could be just me. I might be the only one who wants a President's defining moment to actually impact the country which elected him. Maybe. But maybe not.

I'm also not sure how this "partnership" with Haiti is possible. What exactly is it that Haiti is going to do for us? See, because when you "partner" up with someone, you're both helping each other. In this instance, from what I can tell, we're going to help Haiti and Haiti is going to let us help them. That's really not what I would call a "partnership". It's nice, but it's hardly "partnering".

Mr. Glover continued along lines of questionable thinking processes by saying: "That means that other countries in the region — Venezuela, Brazil, Cuba (which he pronounced COO-ba for some reason) and other countries have already accepted the point that this is a great moment for another type of internationalism, you know." Actually, I...I don't know. Do we know about these other countries alleged acceptance of said alternate internationalism? I wish he had some examples. Perhaps a chart. I love charts! But I digress. Onward...

"And I hope we seize this particular moment because the threat of what happens in Haiti is the threat that can happen anywhere in the Caribbean to these island nations, you know?"
Um, yes? Yes, an earthquake can happen just about anywhere. The Caribbean. The not Caribbean. Earthquakes are real. Thank you for pointing that out to us, Danny Glover.

Oh, but before you give thanks and leave, please read on! See, I didn't realize that he was going to continue to explain WHY this earthquake happened and WHY this can happen anywhere. And I'm sure you're just dying to find out, right? Whatever. Keep reading.

"They're all in peril because of global warming; they're all in peril because of climate change. When we see what we did at the climate summit in Copenhagen, this is the response, this is what happens, you know what I'm saying? But we have to act now." Wait. What now?

What we did at the climate summit? We didn't do anything at the climate summit! Because we didn't do anything, Haiti had an earthquake? I...I don't think that's correct. I'm fairly certain that the climate summit had little or nothing to do with the natural disaster that occurred in Haiti. You know why I think that? Because it's TRUE!

Sad. Perhaps Danny Glover has the same alleged syphilis riddled brain problem that might have affected Mr. Robertson. That's unfortunate. I really liked Mr. Glover in Lethal Weapon. (And by the way...Danny? They're using the 'climate change' term these days. Saying 'global warming' is out because sometimes there's 'global colding' and so if they go with 'climate change', well, change is change! And that way they're never wrong. Now go find your slippers and stop calling TV stations.)

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