Friday, December 28, 2007

My Favorite People of 2007

Shannon Whisnant. Doesn't ring a bell? How 'bout a leg?

Shannon Whisnant is the guy in South Carolina who bought the contents of a storage unit at an auction. Inside the unit was a barbeque smoker with a severed human leg inside of it. The leg had belonged to John Wood (when it was attached to him) and Wood put it in the smoker to keep it until he died so that he could be buried with it. The leg was amputated in 2004 as a result of injuries Wood sustained in a plane crash. With me so far? It gets better.

Wood wanted his leg back. Seems simple, right? Not so fast. Whisnant didn't want to give the leg back. That's correct. He wanted to keep the leg. He started charged people to have a look at it. $3 for adults and $1 for children. I'm not sure why the difference in price. But then again, this is the logic of a man who wants to keep another man's SEVERED LEG!!

You've really gotta hear this guy talk. He is the epitome of the uneducated, backwoods Southerner to say the very least. And the funniest part is that he punctuates the end of all of his sentences with a little sound that goes "mmm-hmmm." You have to make that sound fast. Not slow. Real fast and it just flows in with the rest of the words in the sentence. Like this response to the question of who actually owns the leg, "It's miiine. I had a receiptmmm-hmmm." Or how he felt when he found the leg, since he has a bum left leg himself. "Yeah, we just sort of looked at it like it was heaven sent when we run acrost it. We sorta got an extra left leg now you knowmmm-hmm." Or his description of the condition of the leg, "It ain't too healthy lookin', I'll tell you thatmmm-hmmm."

Other gems from this man's explanation of the situation include how he would like to see the dispute between him and Wood settled. That's right. Joint custody. "Maybe if I have it in my custody for every Halloween and month there before uh, we may have split custody." I guess he feels it's a hot commodity because he said, "The phone has not stopped ringin' for more than 5 minutes. People call from all over the world who wants to see it. About nine different people (have paid to see the leg) so far."

OK, aside from it being ridiculously funny, there's also the economic factor that, apparently, plays a part in this guy's logic. NINE different people. At three bucks a head (assuming they were all adults and stupider than he is to pay three bucks for this sort of thing) that's a whopping $27! The guy won't give back another man's LEG because he sees a profit of $27 and considers it a money minting gold mine! That is hysterical.

And "heaven sent" because it's the same side leg as his that isn't all that great? HOW is that "heaven sent"?? It's not like he can USE the leg! True, he does have an extra one, just like he said. But for WHAT?!

So now we have this guy AND Miss Teen South Carolina as the 2007 representatives of that state. Nice PR there, SC. No wonder Jerry Springer was on the air for so long.

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