Monday, December 24, 2007

My Favorite People of 2007

The reason I just love the drunken Hispanic Indiana man who tried to get back into his house (after his jewel of a girlfriend locked him out) by climbing down the chimney and subsequently got stuck and had to be extracted by the fire department, makes my list for a couple of reasons.

The first reason? The whole altercation is hil-arious. The woman is a shrill shrew. He is a quiet little drunk guy who, for some unknown reason, wants to get IN-side the house where she IS. You'd think he'd be trying to get OUT.

Her dialect just kills me. She is so pissed off at this guy and gets even MORE pissed when he says that he was trying to be Santa Claus and come down the chimney. What a great excuse, yes? Well, it was until the woman asked him where the presents were because Santa never goes down a chimney without presents. (But when she said "presents" it kinda sounded like "presidents" or "precedent". There was at least one extra syllable in there. "Santa never comes down the chimney without presidents!" Well, I should hope not.)

So she's tossed him out and he's just meekly standing there at the bottom of the stairs to her porch. That's when she starts pelting him with bottles and even throws a plastic trash can at him. He just kind of cringes when they hit him and then bounce off. He doesn't say a WORD! He doesn't do anything. He just cowers there at the foot of the stairs and shields himself from incoming ammo. What a guy. He may be drunk, but he's not a wife beater. That's good.

But here's what really earns him a spot on my list. When he's being interviewed by the television reporter, he's just standing there flipping off the camera. Hilarious. When the reporter asks him why he was in the chimney and his Santa Claus alibi was cracked, the guy says, "I'm just drunk. I live here and that's my girlfriend. So I'm just drunk. Everybody so a-stupid things when they're drunk, OK?" That's some pretty good takin' responsibility right there. That's even some takin' responsibility and admitting that you did something stupid. You really don't hear a whole lot of that these days, so the dude gets my respect for that. What he doesn't get my respect for is wanting a piece of Super Shrew there. What is he thinking? Oh, right, he's just drunk.

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