This Spelling Stinks

I am a stickler for spelling, grammar and punctuation. I hate "text speak" because it makes you look like an idiot. Whose idea was it to start substituting the number 3 for the letter E? They're not the same. And they never will be. Same goes for substituting "dis" for "this" or "dat" for "that". Leaving off the E on the end of words? Just stupid. Putting a Y in place of an I? Equally as stupid. You look like a moron when you type things like "Lyke dis if u cry evertim". And when you do, you sound like this. (You're gonna need to click that to get the point here.) But the real problem arises when you mean to say one word, but you're too clueless to spell the word correctly. And in committing to said incorrect spelling, you completely change the meaning of what you were trying to say. And the difference can be huge. Need an example? Behold!

No one wants to smell like colon, you dumbasses. Cologne maybe. Colon? Highly unlikely. Then again, the whole text speak is something stupid that's popular that I don't understand. Maybe smelling like colon is another one of those popular things. But sweet Jesus, I certainly hope not.

Sphere: Related Content

How Could They Not Know?

This, my equally cynical friends, this is why we're doomed! What we have here is a bunch of tweets, compiled off of the Twitter, from several different individuals who have one thing in common. ALL of these folks did NOT know that the Titanic was a REAL BOAT! How, how, how is that possible? At the end of the movie, they showed pictures of the Titanic on the ocean floor! These doofuses (or is it doofi?) didn't catch on?! On top of that, it's been ten years since we were forced to endure this sappy movie with a horrible ending. (The worst part? At the end when Jack is in the water and Rose is on that door and she says "I'll never let go." It wasn't thirty seconds and you know what she did? She let go! He didn't have much of a chance to begin with, but that was just rude. She JUST said it!) You mean to tell me that in those TEN years, these folks never got wind of the Titanic being an actual boat that actually sank and actually caused the horrific deaths of over a thousand people? NEVER?! I don't understand. And neither do these people. Behold. Sadly, sadly, behold.

Sphere: Related Content

Didn't Do The Right Thing

I'm going to continue along my line of pointing out the irresponsibility of people in regard to this Trayvon Martin case that is rapidly turning into a public fiasco which is rapidly turning into a lynch mob just itching for action. Today I shall point out the incredibly irresponsible Spike Lee for his reprehensible action on Twitter the other day.

See, a lot of people are still up in arms that George Zimmerman hasn't been arrested for the killing of Trayvon Martin. Mind you, all of these people have no more facts than you and I have. None of us have any idea what went on between the two of them. But for some reason, so many people want to believe that this is nothing more than racism and a young guy was blown away just because he was black. Anyway, Spike Lee is one of these people. This is evidenced by this tweet:

And that's fine. If that's his opinion, he can tweet that all the live long day if he'd like. But that's not what has me ticked off. No, it would be the tweet that he sent out which allegedly had George Zimmerman's home address on it. Behold!

Tell me something, Spike. What were you hoping would happen to Mr. Zimmerman by putting his "home address" out there? I'm having a difficult time coming up with any scenario that does not involve vigilante justice and horrifying violence. THAT is how you think this should be handled? Allow me to reiterate: You don't know what went on! Yes, I wish that the kid hadn't been shot, but I don't have enough information to understand why he was shot. And neither does Spike Lee! But this isn't the worst of it.

See, turns out that the address that he tweeted out to his at least 250,000 followers was the wrong address. The address that he tweeted out actually belonged to a couple in their seventies. And according to the Washington Post, what happened next was exactly what Spike Lee must have wanted to happen. "Menacing calls. Menacing letters. Menacing envelopes with Taste The Rainbow printed on them." Nice. Real nice. They also received "...hate mail, threats, harassing visits from reporters and fearful inquiries from neighbors." Holy crap. Look at these innocent people:

They had to leave their home because they were so afraid! I'm very thankful that nothing horrible happened to them. And given the mob mentality that people like Spike Lee seem to delight in stirring up, it might be nothing short of amazing that no one did anything terrible to them. (Not that sending letters and calling isn't terrible. You know what I mean.) And what did Spike Lee do in the aftermath of his stupidity and irresponsibility? He sent them an apology tweet.

Yes. A tweet. The tweet simply said "I Deeply Apologize To The McClain Family For Retweeting Their Address. It Was A Mistake. Please Leave The McClain's In Peace. Justice In Court." First of all, what's with the capital letters on every word? It's annoying and it seems like it would take a lot longer to type. Second, just to be pedantic, it should read "McClains", not "McClain's". Seems that grammar isn't his strong suit, either. But finally, it wasn't a mistake. The address was incorrect, but Spike Lee didn't send out that tweet by mistake. He sent it out on purpose. For him not to take responsibility for that in that manner makes me crazy. And saying he's sorry in a tweet, yeah, that'll fix everything.


For someone who seems to think that Trayvon was completely innocent in this whole matter, Spike Lee sure did manage to drag a couple of people are actually ARE completely innocent into this fiasco. The woman used to be a lunch lady and her husband has a heart condition, for crying out loud! Way to go, Spike. You jackass. Does it only go one way with you? It's OK for you to treat people the way that you did, but God forbid if a black person gets treated poorly by anyone? Is that how this works? And people wonder why there is a divide in this country. It's because people like Spike Lee do things like this to make it worse. It's like Jon Stewart said: "Yes, sending a lynch mob to the wrong address is a bad mistake. But I gotta say, even if it was the right address, that’s still a bad f***ing mistake. Sending a lynch mob to anybody’s address is bad mistake.” And that is why I love Jon Stewart and hate Spike Lee.

People really need to calm their asses down here. If y'all want to protest, I suggest that you take your protests to the Sanford Police Department or the district attorney's office building. There needs to be more information given. There needs to be more explanations given. I think that's part of the anger and hostility that people have right now is that they feel that nothing has been done. And really, not much has been done. I agree. But what is lacking right now is a sense of understanding as to why nothing has been done. The sooner that information gets out there, I think the better that things will be. In the meantime, don't do stupid ass stuff like this. It only makes things worse. And if you're serious about wanting things to get better, please do things that will make things better.

Sphere: Related Content

Don't They Want To Know What SOPA Is?

In case you haven't heard, some pretty big websites will be shutting down for 12 hours today in protest of a bill that some out of touch lawmakers are trying to get passed. The bill is called SOPA and that stands for the Stop Online Piracy Act. And while online piracy is bad, SOPA is even worse. Basically, SOPA would make it criminal to have any copyrighted material (and the definition of 'material' is so broad that it applies to just about anything and everything) on any website. Think about that. That's impossible to work around if you're a website. And really, it wouldn't exactly stop piracy. (The bill itself seems to have little indication that whoever wrote it has ever used the Internet or understands what piracy actually is.) This blog would cease to exist because of all of the pictures that I use with neither permission, nor malice. The implication of SOPA is that so many websites would cease to exist because of this law. Thus, several websites are going dark today to not only protest, but to also raise awareness of what this law could potentially do. But shockingly enough, people aren't quite understanding that this isn't a personal attack upon them.


Wikipedia is one of the major sites that will be dark today. Now, I don't know about you, but if I found out that a certain website that I frequented was unavailable in protest of some sort of new law that might happen, I'm pretty sure that I'd find out what the heck is going on. (And actually, one of my favorite websites, Reddit, is dark today in protest of SOPA. I imagine that today could end up being quite productive once I stop twitching from withdrawals..) But that doesn't seem to be the case with Wikipedia. No, people don't seem all that interested in why. Shocking, I know. All people seem to be interested in is (brace yourself) themselves. The big picture appears to be non-existent for a lot of folks.

I say that because I've been perusing the tweets that have gone out in regard to the darkness of Wikipedia. What I've learned is disconcerting at best and hypothesis affirming at worst. (That hypothesis being that we're doomed. OK, maybe that's not so much a hypothesis as it is something that I see society inching a little closer to every single day. It's still bad.) Let's look at some tweets and see if you notice the one thing that is glaringly missing from all of them.

By the way, I wish that I could take credit for compiling all of these lovely tweets, but alas, I cannot. I found them in the Twitter feed of a (I'm sure) lovely one Katie Notopoulos. She seems like a hoot. But I'm simply basing that on her tweet that read "fight SOPA; send your congressman a d**kpic". (And by the way, under SOPA, neither Katie, nor I would be able to be putting any of this stuff on the Internet. So there's that. But I digress. Where was I? Oh, right. She's funny and she retweeted the following. Behold!







First of all, I can only hope that some of these people were tweeting these sentiments in an ironic fashion. Second, are they aware that Wikipedia, while a lovely source of information, is edited by regular people and can be changed at any given moment to say whatever you want it to say until someone else notices that Gary Oldman really isn't a giraffe or that Snoop Dogg's "Gin & Juice" is a "masterpiece" and then edits it to be more factual? I didn't even know that Wikipedia was being accepted by teachers/professors as a citable source. I'm not saying that there isn't great information on Wikipedia. There is. I'm just saying that it can't always be trusted to be correct. (I'm also saying that I may or may not have participated at one time in the altering of some Wikipedia entries in order to make them more humorous and to reflect my incredible disdain for people who may or may not be Gloria Allred. That's all.)

But did you notice that not one of these Wikipedia dependent individuals didn't even question what in the world SOPA is? They think that Wikipedia shutting down for twelve hours is a problem? Are they aware that if SOPA was to pass that Wikipedia would likely be shut down for good? Why isn't anyone asking what SOPA is? Why isn't anyone asking why Wikipedia will be shut down? Man, how I wish that Facebook would do something like this. Could you imagine? The country would collectively wet itself if it couldn't get on Facebook for an entire day. (And let me tell you that if SOPA were to pass, Facebook would need to be shut down as well.) And people would ask what is up if Facebook went dark.

Today might be my most productive day ever without some of my favorite websites to mess around on and waste an extraordinary amount of time on. I might even go outside. I hear that's nice.

Sphere: Related Content

Ungrateful Christmas Tweets

Well, Christmas is over and that means it's time to scour Twitter to see how many people are out there that I want to have eradicated from the planet. I'm not a huge fan of Twitter to begin with. I think it has something to do with the fact that when you can only have 140 characters and everything that people write consists of too many abbreviations and misspellings. Seriously, I could do without ever again seeing a word that ends with a 'Z' instead of the 'S'. (It's NOT cool! It makes you look like an illiterate dimwit.) Anyway, here is a compilation of some of the post-Christmas tweets from the most ungrateful members of our species. Seriously, it is stuff like this that makes me build the wall around my walled off compound even higher. (I know that it's too small to read, but if you click on this link and then click on the image that the link takes you to, you'll be able to see all of this asininity in its full fledged glory. Try not to stab yourself when you're done reading. Oh, and congratulations if you actually make it to the end of the tweets. I almost didn't.)

Sphere: Related Content

No One Got A Second Chance

Have you thought about Chris Brown lately? No? Me neither. And I don't know that there aren't a lot of other people that are in the same boat. All floating there and all not thinking about Chris Brown. Maybe he realized that and that's why he decided to send out a tweet that seemed to convey how butthurt he is these days. Then again, since the tweet didn't really make a lot of sense, he might not have known what he was tweeting at all.

See, he got done with an appearance on the Today show. According to something called The Gothamist, it was the largest crowd to ever show up for one of those morning show, musical guest taping things. So what was his problem? I don't know. You tell me. Here's the tweet that he twat after his performance: "Its funny how many second chances mainstream America gives some of their white celebs(Charlie sheen, kacey anthony. etc)". Behold! Oh, and WTF?

OK, where to begin? I'll tell you where I'm NOT going to begin and that is with the racist implication. We don't hate you because you're black, Chris. We hate you because when you say things like this it makes you sound like a total douche canoe. Oh, and because you beat up women. So since I'm not starting there, I guess I'll go with the next obvious being the Casey Anthony thing. If he thinks that "mainstream America" is giving Casey Anthony a second chance, then he has a pretty funny idea of what a second chance consists of. People want to kill her. They don't just want to see her dead. No, they want to do the actual killing. That's not very second chance-y if you ask me. And Charlie Sheen? He's just that train wreck that we all love watching. AND if he has been given a "second chance" it's because he doesn't pretend to be anything that he is not. With Charlie, what you see is what you get and he doesn't make any excuses for that. Can you say that about yourself, Chris Brown? I didn't think so.

And you know what else, Mr. Brown? If "mainstream America" is just too damn racist for you, what say you shut up about it and leave. If it's SOOOoooo terrible here and full of SOOOoooo many racists, what are you doing here? Out! As in get. Get out! No one's making you stay here. And even if we were (though I cannot for the life of me imagine why) it wouldn't be because we were a bunch of racists. You're just a guy who beats up women. I don't care what color you are, I'd still think that you're a total loser.

Sphere: Related Content

Just Stop Being A Perv!

Holy crap. Look, I know that I've wrote way too much about penises this week (Penii?) and in more ways than one. I've wrote about people who are named after schlongs (Anthony Weiner) and people who just are acting like dicks. (Anthony Weiner again. Shocking, I know.) And since he won't resigns and keeps pulling crap, I have to keep getting all bent out of shape about it. (Which, by the way, is what I wish would happen to his wang.) And yesterday, he pulled the ultimate lame-ass move for someone who has been caught acting like the pig that they are. That's right. Anthony Weiner went into "treatment".

Treatment for what? You jackass! Treatment for how to not act like the downtown corner trenchcoat flasher? Treatment for how not to act like a 14-year old boy in the full throttle of hormones surges? Treatment for the proper care and usage of a flipping cell phone?! Treatment for how to be a better liar (because you have sucked at lying the entire time)? Treatment for how to not cheat on your wife of about one year who is newly pregnant? Any of those? Any of 'em? Bueller? Bueller? Treatment for WHAT?! You don't need "treatment". You need a friggin' belt! And you need to keep it ON your pants so that you're not tempted to drop them and take pictures of your thing and send them over Twitter to college girls! That's what he needs!

Go! Go away, take your penis with you (as if he'd ever go anywhere without at least an 8x10 glossy of it) and just go away. Please listen to people in your party who are requesting that you resign. Just stop making a mockery of this whole deal and making people think about your weenie. Go! At least if you resign and go away, then you can be your pervo self and not a pervo Congressman. It's none of my business what you do if you're not part of a government that my taxes help support. Get out. Go! And good luck with your "treatment". I hope your wife has lunch with Lorena Bobbitt. She might have some tips on how to handle something like this.

Sphere: Related Content

He's STILL Lying!

Well, here's a shocker. I hope you're sitting down because do you remember those weiner shots that were sent from Anthony Weiner's Twitter account last week? The ones that he strongly denied sending? The ones that he said were a result of his Twitter account being hacked? Yeah, he sent them. Shocking, I know.

He held a little press conference yesterday

where he finally admitted what anyone with half of a brain has known since allegations of Weinergate first surface. In short, he sent pictures of his aroused manhood to some chick that he had become acquainted with online. This is where my first issue comes in. Who does this sort of thing? (And I'm asking serious questions here because I am extremely confused.) What kind of a guy takes a picture of his crank and sends it to some chick with his phone? What is the thought process there? "Hey! Look at this! It's mine! Whaddaya think of that?!" I'm open to suggestions. I really don't get the thought mentality.

Next, how is what the Weiner was doing with his weiner any different than some guy in a trench coat flashing people on the street? I mean, are these things planned out? (If they are, I think that would make it a little bit weirder.) I don't think that they are. It seems like what happens is that there might be a little bit of sexy talk and then the next thing you know...BAM! Weiner in your inbox! (Figuratively speaking, of course...and for now). But really, is he any different from your friendly neighborhood flasher? I'm seeing a lot more similarities than I am differences. (And by the way, if you DO have a friendly neighborhood flasher, perhaps consider relocating to a nicer area. That's no way to go through life, son.)

I'd also like to point out that Weiner did a little "crying". I don't know if actual tears were shed, but his voice did

crack a few times and it was fairly obvious that he knew that he was in trouble. What fascinates me about this is that these jackasses can lie like a rug when they're trying to. They have NO trouble covering up ANY emotions when they are vehemently denying everything that they so totally did. They're emotionless, indignant snakes when they're lying. As soon as they're exposed (literally, in this case) they start crying like a little girl. Does anyone actually "buy" it when they cry? It just pisses me off more.And you know what pisses me off even more than that? Crappy media reporting, that is correct. Every freaking report out there that I have read about these schlong shenanigans tell me that the Weiner finally took responsibility for his actions. You're going to read it here first (and, from what I can tell, NO WHERE ELSE) that that's a bunch of crap. He hadn't talked for an entire minute before he was lying! I'm serious! Why am I the only one who caught that?! He said, "Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle." What?! It was so NOT a joke! Why is everyone just breezing right over that?! He's lying! It wasn't a joke! Later on in his lame little speech, he said, "I have exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years." Were those jokes too, you lying piece of crap?! Why is no one calling him on this stuff?!

God, the media sucks. This guy is a weird snake. I hope he has to resign. I don't like people like him in positions of power, especially after blatantly lying to everyone under the sun about showing his wang off on Twitter! Go away, Weiner! And take your weiner with you. (By the way, NBC New York has the transcript of his lame-o apology if you want to read it.

Sphere: Related Content

Grilling The Weiner

Let me ask you something. How many pictures of your wang are out there? If you're woman and therefore, wangless, perhaps you can take a moment to inventory how many pictures of your lower regions are floating around out there. I have done the same. Now, I don't know about you, but my total was zero. Thus, if you were to ask me this question, I would have an immediate answer. (I should take this opportunity to mention that figuring out that there are zero pictures like that of me out there (or ANYWHERE) took me less than two seconds.) I would have that answer so rapidly because it shouldn't be something that one has to think about for longer than the two seconds that I allotted myself. Apparently, Anthony Weiner does not fall into the same category as I (and, hopefully you) do.

When I first heard about this story, I didn't think that it could possibly be real. A

guy named Weiner is being accused of sending a picture of his weiner via Twitter?! It's like a dream come true for me! But that is what allegedly happened. (And between you and me, it totally happened. I just have to throw in "allegedly" because that's what you do when you know something totally happened.) According to Yahoo! News, "...a lewd photo was sent from the congressman's Twitter account to a 21-year old female college student via the social networking site--and it was visible for all the public to see." Yeah, that's a problem. Not as much of a problem as his reaction to what happened, but definitely a problem.

He sure didn't take it all that seriously at first. I'd be rather alarmed if someone was sending pictures of my wang across Twitter (and just not because I don't have a wang) and it wasn't me doing it. But no, he just said, "Look, this is a prank and not a terribly creative one...I was hacked. It happens to people. You move on." Huh. You're not even just mildly curious as to who is sending pictures under the assumption that the sender is you? Even if you're a congressman that doesn't bother you? You just want to move on? Just like that, eh? Yeah, that's usually a sign that someone doesn't want to talk about something. Here's a tip: Things like this? Try and be really upset about them. It's more believable than acting like you don't care if people send lewd pictures and make them from you. That's not believable AT ALL.

And the more that he "answered questions" about this, the more not believable it became. For instance, when Luke Russert asked him in an interview "That's not a picture of you?", his reply was not really what I would have expected from someone with NO knowledge of these sorts of shenanigans. He said, "You know, I can't say with certitude. My system was hacked. Pictures can be manipulated. Pictures can be dropped in and inserted." OK, now he's just saying words. (And for the record, it's an "account" not a "system". But I digress.) That doesn't make any sense. If pictures can be manipulated and you DON'T have any pictures of your grundle out there, then you should be able to say "NO, it's not my weiner." But more than once that is not what happened with this guy.

In a different interview, this time the the monotone voiced Wolf Blitzer, he danced around the question again. Wolf made the astute observation that "...he should be able to recognize his own underwear." Yes! Yes, he should! But again, Mr. Weiner (God, I love typing that!) replied in a way that is unimaginable to me when he said "...It certainly doesn't look familiar to me but I don't want to say with certitude to you something that I don't know to be the certain truth." How can you NOT say with certain truth that those pictures were not of you if you don't take pictures like that of yourself?! I could say for certain if a picture like that was of me. It would absolutely not be for the sole reason that there ARE NO pictures like that of me! I don't need to think about it.

Seriously, what about this exchange: Wolf continued to grill the

Weiner (I needed a BBQ-ing pun in there somewhere) directly if he had ever taken a picture like the one in question of himself. The response was less than convincing when he said "I can tell you this. There are... I have photographs. I don't know what photographs are out there in the world of me. I don't know what things have been manipulated and doctored. And we're going to try to find out what happened." Let me save you the time! I know what happened! You send a picture of your junk over Twitter to some college chick in Washington! Mystery solved!

I noticed that he didn't elaborate a whole lot on "I have photographs." Really? Of your erect manhood inside of your underwear? Why do you have those photographs? Just because your name is weiner doesn't mean that it has to be all about the weiner. Who does that? What a moron. No one wants to see a picture of your penis. They're not that great. They're kinda funny looking and I have no idea how you guys walk around with one of those things down there. But again, I digress. There are better ways to deny that you've done something extremely inadvisable than to do everything BUT deny it. Does he think we're idiots? Or is he just an idiot? Considering that it seems fairly obvious that he did send a picture of his slightly covered genitals, I'm going to go with the latter.

Sphere: Related Content

I Understand

I'm certainly not saying that people should WANT to kill us. I'm merely saying that I think I understand. It's like what Chris Rock says about OJ Simpson. "So you gotta think about OJ's situation: $25,000 a month, another man drivin' his car, f***in' his wife, in a house he's still payin' a mortgage on. Now, I'm not sayin' he should have killed her...but I understand." So, when I hear the evil doers rant about how much they hate the United States, how we are the infidels, how they want to kill Americans....and then see websites like the one called Who is Osama?...I understand.
Basically, it's a Tumblr site with screen caps of tweets that folks have twat after our troops shot Osama bin Laden in the eyes and sent him to live in a pineapple under the sea. (Credit to Jon Stewart for the basis of that joke.) And the number of people who had NO CLUE as to who this a-hole was simply amazed me. And since my Photoshopp-y computer is still out of commission, I'll just copy and paste some text to give you a small sample of what kind of pinheads are out there. (Don't freak out about the lack of capitalization or punctuation. That's how these twits communicate. We are so doomed.) Try not to be afraid. Just build that wall around your house higher and higher.

"who is osama bin laden that everyone seems to be going on about?!" That one actually got a reply. Unfortunately, it was: "was just about to tweet exactly the same question! i have no idea. :L x" I don't know what that emoticon is. I don't want to know. Please don't tell me.

"Im being really stupid here, who is Osama Bin Laden? Should i know who he is?" That was also responded to. Someone replied: "i dont hAve a clue!:Lxx" I don't know why only the A is capitalized. I don't want to know. Please don't tell me.

"Wait who is osama bin laden again? I thought he got hung like 4 years ago? Considering i do geography i should reeeally know this kinda thing". Yes. Considering you "do geography" you really should know this kinda thing.

See what I mean? I'm not saying I agree with the terrorists, but sometimes, just sometimes, I understand.

Sphere: Related Content

Idiocy In The Wake Of Victory

Things like the killing of Osama Bin Laden always result in good things and bad things. Good things would be stuff like Jon Stewart said. "...we shot him in the eyes and now he lives in a pineapple under the sea." Bad things would be the drivel that some NFL player named Rashard Mendenhall had to say.

Mendenhall plays for the Steelers. After the death of Weird Beard was announced, Mendenhall did what so many celebritards feel compelled to do these days...he took to Twitter to tweet. And what did he twat, you ask? He twat: "What kind of person celebrates death? It's amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We've only heard one side..." Wait. What now?

I heard him speak plenty of times! Whenever he would release one of those poorly made videotapes in which the subject was "Death to America" and "Death to the infidels". I did hear him speak. I heard him speak of killing Americans. And I don't know that when someone says that they want to kill us that I need to hear "the other side". Besides, isn't HE the other side? When 3,000 people are killed, I don't think I need another side.

But his tweeting didn't stop there! Why would you think that it would! Why would you think that he would stop such ridiculous ramblings right there? Someone who thinks that is likely someone with a lot more to say. And he didn't disappoint. He followed his initial insanity up with: "We'll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style." Oh, God.

So, he's one of those. And by "those" I mean "morons". I know the NFL is trying to be more vigilant with following up with players with concussions. Perhaps they might want to start with this guy. Give him a good and thorough CAT scan. Maybe an MRI just to be on the safe side. Oh, and show him some footage of September 11, 2001. That might help him understand how a plane could take a skyscraper down. Demolition style.

Sphere: Related Content

Too Soon? Apparently.

You know the Aflac duck? That cute little spokesbird for (duh!) Alfac that everyone thought was so cute when he yelled "Aflac!" that they decided to stop using him as much? Yeah, that duck. Well, as it turns out, that's really not a talking duck. No, see they were only pretending to have the duck talk and the voice that we heard was really that of professional obnoxious person Gilbert Gottfried. But now, the duck has gone quiet as Mr. Gottfried has been fired due to making "offensive" tweets about the current situation in Japan.

When do you think people are going to learn that there is a certain amount of time that one must wait after a disaster or mishap before it will be "okay" to mock it? I'm guessing never, as this sort of thing seems to happen whenever tragedy strikes. You know when people make a joke and follow it up with "Too soon?" There's a reason for that! Sometimes, it's just too effing soon. And I guess that it was too soon for Mr. Gottfried's jokes. Speaking of the jokes, let's take a look at what it takes to get one fired as the voice of a duck these days.

Our friends at BuzzFeed compiled the ten "most offensive" tweets before they were removed from Mr. Gottfried's Twitter feed. (Why do people even bother removing stuff that they regret putting online? Don't they know that the Internet never forgets? Nothing is ever erased from the Internet. It's there forever. There's no point. Just embrace it and your ill-advised tom foolery and move on.) I don't know if they're in any particular order and even if they were, I don't know if Number One or Number Ten would be the most offensive. But those are good places to start. Listed at Number One:

Yeah, that's not good. It's also not funny. Not even close to funny. Maybe Number Ten will be better. Let's find out...

Again, not funny. It's barely sophomoric humor. And I realize that it's in poor taste, but are these really enough for someone to get fired over? After all, he is a comedian. (Granted, I've never found him overly amusing, but that doesn't change what he does.) What else? Oh, how about Number Three.

OK, that's not bad. That's kind of funny. I'm not trying to be offensive (because I rarely try), it's just kind of funny. It would be funnier if there hadn't been a horrifying disaster just a couple of days ago. I'll agree with that. But that's the funniest one out of the bunch. Most of them are like this one:

See? That's not only stupid, it's just not funny. And BuzzFeed only has the ten worst tweets that he did. How many were there total? Why did he feel the need to make lame tweet after lame tweet after lame tweet? I don't know, but now he's reaping what he hath twat, as Aflac wasted no time in firing the man. And while I think he could have used better judgment, I don't know that he deserved to be fired for what he twat. He's the voice of a duck. The duck only says one word: Aflac. Good work if you can get it, I suppose. But how many people even know that he's the voice of the duck? How many people even saw the tweets? I'm guessing that the people in Japan have other things to worry about at the moment other than the 140 character random thoughts of Gilbert Gottfried.

Sphere: Related Content

Charlie Sheen At The Oscars

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sphere: Related Content