Welcome To Mississippi

A little while ago, I think I had mentioned that Nancy Pelosi's daughter had made a video where she interviewed folks from Mississippi about their thoughts on the current President. I don't know exactly what the goal was, but if she was attempting to reinforce stereotypes (or at least help show how stereotypes are usually rooted in at least a little bit of fact) then she did a bang up job. And don't worry! She interviewed folks who have a better opinion of President Barry in a separate video. We'll see that one tomorrow. Today we have the toothless dissenters from the south. If it doesn't show up, click here. Behold!

Sphere: Related Content

Ready...Aim...Fire!

Yesterday I talked about the little fiasco over there at ESPN when someone decided that a good headline referring to Jeremy Lin would be "Chink in the armor" when the Knicks lost. (In case you missed yesterday's post, that particular headline was a bad idea.) ESPN apologized and they took the headline down and they did so within 35 minutes. (Doesn't take long for an Internet ruckus to get going.) And of course, that wasn't enough for some people.

According to the Huffington Post, the "...Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund, an organization that promotes civil rights for Asian Americans, wants the network to do even more". That's right. Even more. They apologized. They took it down within 35 minutes. And that isn't enough. Apparently, the AALDEF (who should really think about shortening their acronym) says "The time for apologies is over." Sooooo...I guess we shoot them? I'm so confused.

They went onto say "The media and the general public must understand that racist language and stereotypes used to describe Jeremy Lin are an insult to all Asian Americans, and no one should tolerate their use." Huh. I'm pretty sure that the "media and general public" DO understand that. If the media didn't understand that, wouldn't we see more inappropriate language in their reporting? Does this happen often? I don't think it does, but that might be based upon my definition of "often". Since I keep up to date on current events all the live long day, I'm pretty sure that my reading material isn't frequently peppered with racial insults. Based upon that, I'm not sure that it's the HUGE problem that they want to make it out to be. The headline that ESPN used? Now THAT was a problem. But is it widespread? I really don't think that it is. (By the way, the picture that I used for this paragraph is ALSO a problem. Whose idea was that?)

Now let's address the concern that they have about the general public. If you're reading this blog, you have to know that the general public is stupid. Paste eating, mouth breathin' morons is what a lot of 'em are. You know it. You know them! But the media and the general public are two completely different entities. Good luck at getting the general public to consistently adhere to an acceptable group of standards. There will always be those who don't go with the flow and who can't play nice with others. I'm not saying that it should be tolerated, but I don't think that people should be overly surprised when they encounter such softheads.

It's still unclear to me what the AALDEF wants anyone to DO. 35 minutes response time might be some sort of a record. And ESPN said in a statement "We are conducting a complete review of our cross-platform editorial procedures and are determining appropriate disciplinary action to ensure this does not happen again". OK, I don't know what "cross-platform editorial procedures" even means. I don't know if even ESPN knows what that means. But they also said "We regret and apologize for this mistake." There you go. It was a mistake. They didn't say "We're going to immediately fire the person who did that because it's clear that they are a flaming racist and are also probably a Klan member." It was a mistake. They apologized. And from what I can tell in reading the reactions to this debacle, the only person who thought it was a good idea in the first place was the moron who wrote it.

I'm all for making people aware of when things aren't OK because they have a racist tone to them. But there are instances when it's just a stupid mistake. I'm pretty sure this is one of those times. I'm pretty sure that everyone at ESPN is NOT a racist. I'm pretty sure that the person who wrote this wasn't a racist. (Really, if you were a racist, do you think that the most appropriate way to get your racist views out there would be to risk your job at ESPN with a comment as lame as "Chink in the armor"? Please.) But I guess now we're just supposed to shoot these folks or something because an apology isn't enough. Seems a bit extreme if you're asking me.

Sphere: Related Content

This Linsanity Needs To Stop

If you don't follow sports, let me take a minute to explain a couple of things. First off, sports people seem to really love a good nickname. Actually, I take that back. It doesn't even have to be good. (See "Chad Ochocinco".) Any nickname will do. Well, almost any nickname. And it seems that the good and apparently clueless folks over there at ESPN forgot the part about "almost" when they were sucked into the "Linsanity" of New York Knick Jeremy Lin.

In case you're not familiar with the guy, Jeremy Lin is a guy who was born in the United States to parents who had immigrated here from Taiwan. That makes him kind of Asian. This will be relevant shortly. He's just recently started playing for the Knicks (basketball, don't ya know) and he's just kicking ass and taking names (though why anyone would sign up for an ass kicking is beyond me). Cue the media to begin the onslaught of easy to make puns/wordplay based upon Jeremy Lin's name.

We have things like "Linsanity", "Lincredible" and "Linconceivable". There's the "Linderella Story" and "Super Lintendo". Don't forget not-so-clever phrases such as "To Linfinity and beyond" and "Thrillin". And remember, he's "Amasian". (That one is a little combination of "Amazing" and "Asian". I spell that out for you because I am surprised at how very few people can figure that out and I really hate for a pretty good wordplay to go to waste.) And I think that it was that last one that caused ESPN to go right over the edge with their attempt at a witticism of their own the other night. Yeah, after the Knicks winning streak with Lin was snapped the other night, ESPN went with the headline "Chink in the armor". Oh, for cryin' out loud. Freakin' behold...

Now, as you may or may not be aware (or care about) the term "chink" is not exactly an accepted (or preferred) nomenclature for those of Asian descent. In fact, it's quite the opposite and is now more of a racial slur than anything positive. Granted, I haven't heard that particular term used in a derogatory (or any other manner, as if that was even possible) in a long time. But maybe that's because I don't hang out with racists (or really old people who refuse to acknowledge that World War II is over and we're no longer mortal enemies with Japan). So while I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt to whoever came up with that headline, I don't even know what that sort of benefit would look like.

It's obviously an insensitive term at best. Racially offensive at worst. But either way, whoever came up with that headline had to know that it wasn't a compliment, didn't they? If not, I think they need to step away from ESPN for a little while and maybe read a book or take a class or something. Something that would help them grasp a basic understanding of why "Linsanity" is perfectly OK to use, but "Chink in the armor" is SO not OK. What is wrong with some people? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that whoever wrote that headline did so to be racist. I'm saying that it's a racial term that really should not be used in any headlines. Or anything else for that matter! Go back to "Super Lintendo". It's stupid, but I don't think it will offend an entire race of individuals.

Sphere: Related Content

No One Got A Second Chance

Have you thought about Chris Brown lately? No? Me neither. And I don't know that there aren't a lot of other people that are in the same boat. All floating there and all not thinking about Chris Brown. Maybe he realized that and that's why he decided to send out a tweet that seemed to convey how butthurt he is these days. Then again, since the tweet didn't really make a lot of sense, he might not have known what he was tweeting at all.

See, he got done with an appearance on the Today show. According to something called The Gothamist, it was the largest crowd to ever show up for one of those morning show, musical guest taping things. So what was his problem? I don't know. You tell me. Here's the tweet that he twat after his performance: "Its funny how many second chances mainstream America gives some of their white celebs(Charlie sheen, kacey anthony. etc)". Behold! Oh, and WTF?

OK, where to begin? I'll tell you where I'm NOT going to begin and that is with the racist implication. We don't hate you because you're black, Chris. We hate you because when you say things like this it makes you sound like a total douche canoe. Oh, and because you beat up women. So since I'm not starting there, I guess I'll go with the next obvious being the Casey Anthony thing. If he thinks that "mainstream America" is giving Casey Anthony a second chance, then he has a pretty funny idea of what a second chance consists of. People want to kill her. They don't just want to see her dead. No, they want to do the actual killing. That's not very second chance-y if you ask me. And Charlie Sheen? He's just that train wreck that we all love watching. AND if he has been given a "second chance" it's because he doesn't pretend to be anything that he is not. With Charlie, what you see is what you get and he doesn't make any excuses for that. Can you say that about yourself, Chris Brown? I didn't think so.

And you know what else, Mr. Brown? If "mainstream America" is just too damn racist for you, what say you shut up about it and leave. If it's SOOOoooo terrible here and full of SOOOoooo many racists, what are you doing here? Out! As in get. Get out! No one's making you stay here. And even if we were (though I cannot for the life of me imagine why) it wouldn't be because we were a bunch of racists. You're just a guy who beats up women. I don't care what color you are, I'd still think that you're a total loser.

Sphere: Related Content

Give Me Your Cash

All rightee now. Perhaps Jon Huntsman had the right idea when he went about making an innocuous campaign video. (At least, I think it was a campaign video. There are still a few days left and in the latest one that I saw, that little dude was still riding his motocross bike through the desert, so I'm not totally positive.) At least he didn't make a video like the one I'm about to show you. Holy crappings. And let me just tell you that while there are a lot of things out there that people are shouting are racist, almost none of them actually are. But this video? I think it might be just a little racist. And by "a little", I mean I think it totally is.

The video is made by something called Turn Right USA. According to their website, their mission is "...to expose and lampoon the typical politico’s microscopic brain through cutting-edge viral videos with guts and humor!" OK. I'm good with that. I like humor! I like cutting-edge! But that doesn't mean that we see those two things in the same way. In fact, I'm pretty sure that we see them in a totally different manner altogether.

Turn Right USA decided to make an attack ad against a one Janice Hahn. She appears to be a Los Angeles Councilwoman. The ad alleges that she hired "...hard core gang members with taxpayer money to be gang intervention specialists." The ad also alleges that "She even helped them get out of jail so they could rape and kill again." That seems kind of unlikely, but I'm still listening. After those allegations, the ad takes a turn to a place that you just shouldn't go. It shows a scantily clad woman who seems to resemble Ms. Hahn walk up to a stripper pole. That's when the rapping black guys emerge.

That's right. Rapping black guys. They're supposed to be the thugs that allegedly worked with Ms. Hahn. And they rap a catchy a little tune. It goes like this: "Give me your cash, bitch, so we can shoot up the street. Give me your cash, bitch, so we can buy some more heat." And these rapper thug guys with their guns are imposed over the fake Ms. Hahn on the stripper pole who is shaking her buttocks rapidly as the gentlemen place dollar bills in her panties. It's a class act. Watch: (And if it doesn't show, click here.)



Impressive, eh? Am I saying that they shouldn't be allowed to air that piece of s***? Of course not. I'm a big proponent of free speech. But there are some things that are just in poor taste and I think that is one of them. Were all of the thugs that she allegedly let out of prison black men? Or is that just how the ad wants to portray the black men? I don't get it. It's weird. Granted, I would like to know a little bit more about this program that she allegedly instituted by working with gang members and allegedly getting them out of jail. It seems to be something that, if she was involved in it, people should probably know about. But do they need to find out about it by portraying her as an agile cheeked stripper with thug customers. (I really wish that when people portray strippers that are getting a lot of money that they show them with more than a few ones strategically tucked into their outfits. You people can't throw a five spot in there?) It's in poor taste. I'm pretty sure it's at least a little racist. And if she hasn't actually ever been a stripper, I'm pretty sure that it's a little sexist as well. I'm actually at a loss as to what to say about this. It's just wrong, is what it is. Hopefully Turn Right USA will navigate itself into a dead end and this will be the last of this crap that we have to deal with from them.

Sphere: Related Content

Racist Cupcakes? Really?

Today's story about a company caving into complaints about nothing (instead of standing their ground because they did nothing wrong) involves...*spins wheel*...Duncan Hines amid complaints that allege that their commercial for what appeas to be some sort of cupcake frosting is...*spins wheel*...racist.

Before I even get into the ridiculous incident which sparked these ridiculous cries of racism, I have to bring up the point that I always bring up when this happens (and it happens far too frequently). That point being do these people making these claims actually think that Duncan Hines and the makers of this commercial are racist? Do they actually think that Duncan Hines and the makers of this commercial decided this would be a good idea because it was racist? Do they actually think that the makers of this commercial and Duncan Hines thought that the best way to express their racist views was under the guise of trying to sell cupcake frosting? Really? Because if you do think that this commercial is racist and if you do think that any of these things that I just listed are true, then you need to wear a helmet at all times. And not just one of those skull cap helmets, either. I'm talking full noggin, full facial covering helmet. And possibly a suit of armor as well. You are a soft, soft individual. So soft.

Since Duncan Hines was cowardly and, instead of standing up to these morons shouting "Racist cupcake makers!", they have pulled their ad from YouTube. I wanted to include the ad first, have you watch it and then tell you what the problem is that some people wanted to have with it. (Naturally, there's no telling just how many people saw this as a problem. These days, it could have been one. Who knows?) But since the ad isn't there anymore, I'm just going to past the link to it here. So, do me a favor. Watch the video, but don't read anything in the article that accompanies it just yet. Just watch the video and then continue reading. Fair enough? (Come on. I rarely ask anything of you other than to just read my drivel on a daily basis and pass the link along to everyone you know and random strangers. You can do this for me just this once, right?

::: waiting ::: ::: waiting :::

You're back! Nice to see you again! OK, so now you've seen the video. Did you see how it was just oozing and dripping with racism? Did you see how all of those cupcakes were calling each other the N-word? Did you see how the black cupcakes had to sit at the back of the bus? Of course you didn't! Partly because there wasn't a bus, but mostly because there WAS NO RACISM!

I turned to the good folks over there at the New York Daily News to find out what the dealio was. Turns out, there are people out there that think that those cupcakes actually resemble (wait for it) people in blackface. ::: blink ::: ::: blink ::: Wait. I thought that they looked kind of like the claymation California Raisins dudes. Were those racist? They weren't, were they? Nah. I'm pretty sure they weren't. Almost positive. OK, soooo...what now?

Correct. Blackface. I was seriously confused. I still am. They really don't look like they're in blackface to me. Let's look again. Here's a cupcake from the commercial:

And here's "World's Greatest Entertainer" (as he was dubbed back in his heyday) Al Jolson in blackface:

Yeah, I still don't get it. I decided to check other sites to see if there could be any rational light shed on this and sadly, there was not. I did learn of a blog called Racialicious which delved into the subject lightly. And by 'delved' I mean that there were more comments than there were words in the article itself. And those people need my helmets! Holy canoli, I was stunned. Sadly, sadly stunned. The only legitimate point that someone over there made was that the title of this ad was "Hip Hop Cupcakes". There wasn't really any hip-hop involved in the thing, though. I guess if you mention hip-hop, it automatically means that you must be talking about black people? I wonder if there would have been all of this to-do about it if they had simply called it by a different name?

It's chocolate frosting or chocolate glaze or something chocolate on white cake cupcakes! If anything, wouldn't that be a harmony of black and white, coming together in harmony for the sake of all that is delicious? Why is it racist? That's right. It's NOT! Oh, but one person opined "Clearly there are no minorities in the board room where they work on advertising at Duncan Hines." Hmmm. Interesting assumption. And not surprising since you also assume that it's clearly a concerted work of shouting racism across the baked good airwaves. What if there ARE minorities in the board room where they work on advertising at Duncan Hines? Then what?? Is it still racist in your mind, oh-wee-little-commenter? What's your race? It's almost as if it would make you feel better if people actually were racist. It's such an odd thing to want, especially considering how against it you claim to be.

I cannot tell you how angry made-up racism accusations make me. Just because I am white, that doesn't make me a racist. I am tired of defending my non-racism. I am tired of mentioning that I have plenty of friends who are not white. I am tired of hearing the black vs. white argument, as I don't see that there is one within my circle of existence. Yes, I realize that it does exist out there, but how much of that is a continuation of the apparent desire to make SURE that it exists with asinine claims of blatant racism against entities such as the makers of freaking cupcake frosting?!

Screw you, Duncan Hines. You know it's not racist, so why didn't you just say so and let the commercial keep running up on YouTube? Why aren't you releasing statement that declares how angry and incensed you are at any accusation that your company ran a racist commercial? Why aren't you standing up for yourself for what you know is true? I've said it before (and unfortunately, I'm still waiting for it to happen), but I guarantee you that the first company to respond to accusations like this in the manner that I've suggested will be hailed as the retail messiah from sea to shining sea. If Duncan Hines had stood up to these accusations, I would have bought Duncan Hines products for the rest of whatever and I would have recommended them to everyone I know at any given opportunity. Now? Well, now I'm buying Betty Crocker. She hasn't proven herself to be a corporate wussy yet.

Sphere: Related Content

A Black Hole Is Not Racist

What's it going to take for the NAACP to completely go away? I'm getting really tired of their completely idiotic accusation of racism this and racism that. For cryin' out loud, they call themselves the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Isn't their name alone kind of racist? Or demeaning? Or something completely against what they always claim that they're for? I was hoping with their latest "Cry racism" moment it would perpetuate their downfall or, at the very least, completely remove any last shred of credibility that they might have actually had. But, unfortunately, that's not going to be the case. No, they're just going to be able to claim that a greeting card about graduation and the solar system is racist and it's going to be removed from all stores. Wait. What?

Welcome to Culver City, California where we learn from Channel 7 that a "...graduation card sold at local stores has been pulled from shelves after a civil rights group...claims the card's micro-speaker plays a greeting that's racist." Huh. It's a Hallmark card, too. I'm not really seeing Hallmark as a "racist" company that would produce "racist" greeting cards. But let's just see what all of the fuss is over, shall we? Then let's all beat our collective heads against a wall as we chant in unison, "We're doomed."

The card features greeting card regulars Hoops and Yoyo. I don't know which one is which, but I don't think that it matters. What matters is what the little critters say to the new graduate. Hoops and Yoyo are on the card and inside, there are references to the planets amongst them. It's a space-planetary sort of theme (with kind of bunny-like-ish caricatures as well). The front of the card states harmlessly (to those who are not morons) "You're graduating? Well, then, it's time to let the world know what's coming." Seems harmless enough, right? Not so fast. It gets stupider worse.

You open up the card (which appears to be the size of a billboard, as the thing is massive) and it states, "But not only the world, NOOOO! We're talking the entire solar system!" Then underneath that it says, "The world is yours, grad." And it also says, "Watch out, Saturn, this grad is going to run rings around you!" Get it? Rings? 'Cause Saturn has rings? See? How it's funny? Yeah, OK. Moving right along.

It's clearly a space theme. It's about the graduate being able to take over the world with all of their new found (and extremely expensive) knowledge that they've just been acknowledged as having appropriately completed. Remember that. A space theme. So when the card's annoying little microchip plays the greeting, either Hoops or Yoyo (it's unclear as to who is responsible for this atrocity) says, "Hey world, we are officially putting you on notice." And the other one responds with a childish, "Yeaaahhhh!" Then the first one says, "And you black holes, you are soooo ominous." Meanwhile, the other one, who appears to have inhaled a great deal of helium, cackles, "Hahahaha!" Then the first one pipes up again with, "And you planets? Watch your back." See? Racist.

Wait. What now? Racist? Correct. Racist. See, the dimwits over there at the Los Angeles division of the NAACP claim that the card "...was very demeaning to African American women." It was. Um...de...demeaning? To African American women? Are you sure? Oh, they're sure! It's right there where "...it made reference to African American women as whores". It did?? When? When it said "black holes", that is correct.

Wait a minute. Are you dry shaving me? Yes, they are claiming that the card says "black whores". One woman, a one Minnie Hatley of the aforementioned Los Angeles NAACP, claims, "You hear the 'r' in there. 'Whores,' not, 'holes.' The 'r' is in there." Um, no, you don't and no, it's not. Another moron claimed, "It sounds like a group of children laughing and joking about blackness, again." Again?! When were they doing it before? You folks don't seem to understand something. It's not that we don't like you because you're black. It's that we don't like you because you're ridiculous. I couldn't care less what color you are, but I certainly care if you're a moron. Good Lord, people....

Now, Hallmark sent the news station a transcript of what the card said. That wasn't enough. No, they were still adamant that it said "whores" and not "holes". Even though both you and I and everyone else with half of a brain can hear that it says "holes". Never the less, what do you think Hallmark is going to do about it? If you guessed the answer that I most wanted to hear, that being absolutely nothing, then you'd be sadly mistaken. Hallmark is a weak and cowardly company and has bowed to the NAACP and their ludicrous claim that this card is racist. Hallmark is "...now notifying all of its stores to pull the card. Walgreens and CVS are doing the same." Oh, and did I mention that the card has been out for three years? Yeah, it has. But NOW they're going to pull it because it is suddenly racist? Doomed, I tell you. Doomed.

Well, those are three companies that I have no need to purchase goods from in the future. I'm so sick of any one person or any one group coming up with the most outrageous claims about something and having the company cave in to their ridiculous outrage. Seriously now. Because it would make perfect sense that a graduation card would mention black whores, right? That seems like a reasonable message to have in a graduation card that's been sold for the past three years. "Hey, black whores! You're not so ominous!" Sure, that makes perfect sense that it would say that. Oh, wait. No, it wouldn't! Because it didn't. UN-believable. The link to this ridiculousness is here. Good luck not wanting your life to immediately end after viewing it.

Sphere: Related Content

Ten Whole Days of Peace

It was bound to come to this. First, Levi Johnston agrees to pose nude for Playgirl after doing commercials touting the pistachio nut and the next thing you know, President Barry has won the Nobel Peace Prize and subsequently, CVS Pharmacy has pulled all Obama Chia Pets from their inventory because their racist. I realize that's a lot to digest right off the bat, but it's all true and it's all out there, so let's try and break it down before we, ourselves, break down, shall we? And a one, and a two....

Yes, yes, it's true. Somehow President Barry won the Nobel Peace Prize. I cannot for the life of me figure out how that came to be, but it scares the holy bejeezus out of me, I'll tell you that much. Listen, he was inaugurated when? January 20th? The deadline for Nobel Prize nominations is February 1st. Folks, that's ten days. It took the man longer than that to figure out what kind of a dog to get, for cryin' out loud! The only good part about this that I can see is that I now find myself to be not so much of a distant contender for next year's Peace Prize. After all, if it only takes ten days worth of "work" to be not only a serious contender but to also come out the winner? Hell, I can be pretty darned peaceful for ten days, let me tell you what! And with the $1.4 million dollar prize that comes along with it? Hey, for that chunk of change, I can be peaceful for eleven days, just you wait and see!

But here's the scary part: We're lucky that President Barry is a good guy who doesn't mean us any harm. I truly believe that about him. All of the softheads who want to believe that he's from Kenya, that he's a Muslim, that he's the anti-Christ, all of those folks are cuckoo birds. The man is a good guy. I disagree with a ton of stuff that he does and how he goes about it, but that doesn't change that he's a good guy. That being said, it seems fairly clear that the Nobel Prize Committee (who should all be fired, by the way) was so damn caught up in the hooplah and all of President Barry's charisma and ability to give one heckuva public speech that they completely lost their minds. They wanted to do the feel good thing. Oh, wouldn't it be great if this man, Changey McOptimism, was SO good, as good as we want him to be, that he was Nobel Peace Prize quality material? Sure, that would be GRAND. Someday. Not TO-day!

The scary part is that he's being given accolades and credit for things he hasn't even done! If the people who voted for who should receive the Nobel Peace Prize, the ol' NPP, really believe that he achieved that honor and that status within ten days, then they should have their collective noggins examined thoroughly. (And I'm not just talking regular examination. I'm talking a group of specialists, a trip to Vienna, the whole nine yards!) Just think about how wrong this whole thing is. If we start believing that someone is a certain someone simply because we want to believe that about them, then we are most certainly doomed. It is then, when we allow that mindset to take over, that it doesn't matter if we vote or if we have a democracy or anything that assures us that this nation will continue to be the strongest and most affluent in the world. NONE of that will matter if people just start bestowing acclaim and esteem on those who don't deserve it or who haven't earned it...yet.

By not exercising any sort of impartiality or neutrality what so ever, we are just turning a blind eye to what is appropriate and what is just and right rather than what makes people feel good. Let me tell you, President Barry winning the NPP should not make you feel good. It should make you feel a little nauseous, a little bit like laughing, and a whole lot of concern. And I say this as someone who voted for the man!

But I guess if you're an NPP winner then there are certain things that are simply off limits as far as your caricature goes. That's the only reason that I can come up with for CVS Pharmacy pulling all of the President Barry Chia Pets under the guise that there were complaints that they were racist. Oh, good Lord.....what now?

Correct. Racist. Over at The Huffington Post there's a little blurb about how CVS Pharmacy is following suit with Walgreen's and pulling all of the President Obama Chia Pets from its shelves. Over at the Chicago Tribune it is explained that "Walgreens removed the terra cotta heads in April after some complained that the product was racially insensitive." But they also tell us that "A CVS spokesman wouldn't give a specific reason for pulling the product." Translation: It's racist. If that wasn't their reason (and if they didn't know how ass-pulling ridiculous it sounded) they would tell us, wouldn't they? Sure they would. People are allergic. The terra-cotta can break and the shards can fly and can impale small children right through their pancreas (a little talked about, but quite necessary internal organ). Heavy marijuana users were spreading cannabis seeds on it and turning the clay Presidential likeness into, literally, a pothead. All would have been equally silly, but at least we would have seen some ridiculous point. (Not really, though. I think I'd be saying the same thing if it were because of the pancreas impaling shards.) But because one or two people (at the most, I'm guessing, five) complained, it is absolutely racist and must be removed from public display and forbidden to be sold immediately!

You can't have alfalfa or whatever that stuff is growing on the head of a NPP winner, can you? Well, you can if you bought one of those clay President Barry heads before Friday! How is it racist? Because it grows like hair out of the top of his head? And that's supposed to simulate an afro? And that's racist? He HAD an afro at one point in his life! Oh, my God, the President's a racist! (No, he's not. But do you hear how completely idiotic that sounds?)

Look, the thing grows HAIR. It's not like they're out there touting "Buy Brother Barry's Bad Ass Head of Hair Pet." That might be a bit over the top, I concede. The Chia Pet is not racist! It's dumb! It's a dumb product that people seemingly love for reason that completely escape me. Is it that amusing to watch this thing eventually grow some alfalfa on it? I don't know that it is! I've never had a Chia-Pet (please don't send me one), but I've also never had a pet rock and I don't think it looks all that fun either, nor do I need to have one to come to that conclusion.

If the President Barry Chia Pet is racist, then in theory, all of the other Chia Pets are racist, right? Because if it were just one product that had a lot of different variations, well, then to call one of the variations "racist" would just be short sighted and softheaded. Your cranium would have to be made out of melted ice cream to be so soft that you'd think it was racist. So let's take a look at all of the other Chia Racist Pets that are out there, shall we? I think we shall.

Chia Bart and Homer Simpson! Hey! Cartoons can't grow hair! That's racist! Behold!

Chia Garfield! Hey! Cats can't grow hair! That's racist! Behold!

This is either Chia Einstein or Chia Wilford Brimley, I can't tell. But I'm fairly certain it's racist. Behold!

Chia Shaggy and Chia Scooby! What? No Chia Daphne or Chia Velma? Racist and sexist, I'm sure. Behold!

Chia Crocodile! Which seems to just be Chia Frog with an elongated snout. Whatever it is, they're both racist! Behold!

See? Not a racist one in the bunch. It's all just in fun. Just because President Barry is a guy who can grow an afro doesn't mean that the Chia Obama is racist. It's not even hair! It's like some weird alfalfa thing. (Seriously, what is that stuff? Sprouts? But sprouts of what?) I guess I just don't see how people can have such a utopian view of the world to the point where they award President Barry the Nobel Peace Prize after all of his peaceful achievements during those first ten days in office and yet have such a backwards view of the world to the point that pharmacy chain stores are yanking Chia Pets off of the shelf because someone thinks that they're racist. (They're not.)

We are seriously doomed.

Sphere: Related Content

He's Not a Muslim and I'm Not a Racist

It would seem that a one James Earl Carter, the man who served at the 39th President of the United States, is spending his golden years with his brain encompassed in a cloudy haze which causes him to become highly delusional, possibly pre-senile and most likely schizophrenic. It's difficult to say (mainly because I'm making most of this up) what caused this condition, but it seems most likely that his body is ridden with syphilis and that probably has something to do with it. However, whatever the cause and whatever the cure, just put him somewhere so that when he start spouting nonsense and igniting an issue that is largely not present, no one will have to hear him. It will also save some from being highly irritated throughout their entire Wednesday, a day that had otherwise proved to have the potential to be quite lovely....until we all were called racists by Jimmy Carter.

Look, I'll try to put this in as simple terms as is humanly possible. Just because someone is white, it doesn't make them a racist. That's it. White does not equal racist. That seems to be a difficult concept for some folks to effectively grasp. It's as if they don't know how they would have to be if people acted or reacted based upon the merits and/or the facts of a situation rather than acting based upon some bias that was influenced by the color of someone's skin. And one other thing that I will put in equally simple terms: White people are getting awfully sick of being called racist when there is absolutely no indication, no justification, no validation for others to do so. It's beginning to make some folks outwardly angry at those crying "Racist!" But that's not because of the color of their skin, it's because they're morons.

Here's the deal with ol' Peanut Head that caused a bit of an uproar on Tuesday. He was discussing Joe Wilson's shouting out "You lie!" during President Barry's little chat with Congress last week. According to CNN, Jimmy Carter told NBC Nightly News, "I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he's African-American. I live in the South, and I've seen the South come a long way, and I've seen the rest of the country that shares the South's attitude toward minority groups at that time, particularly African-Americans." Oh, for hell's sake.

First of all, I'd like to thank former President Carter for clarifying when he said "he's a black man" by immediately following it up with "that he's African American". Yeah, we were pretty confused as to what you meant by "he is a black man", but once you threw in that "he's African American" then it was crystal clear!

Second, are you kidding me?! ALL Joe Wilson yelled out was, "You lie!" From a holler of "You lie!" Jimmy Carter was able to deduce that Joe Wilson is a racist?! How does that work? Joe Wilson was quite upset with President Barry saying that his health care reform bill would not extend benefits to those from a foreign land who are in this country illegally, thus the shout out that he gave him. Now, the shouting was rude. It was inappropriate. It was disrespectful. It was a whole lot of things (and not many of them good, either), but the one thing that it was not was racist.

Now, James Earl Carter made this erroneous character judgment on Tuesday. I had totally assumed that he would have to retract that statement on Wednesday. I was totally wrong. Not only did he not retract it, he said it again AND he elaborated on it! He started out by expressing his dislike for the near limitlessness of free speech when he told a group of students at Emory University, "When a radical fringe element of demonstrators and others begin to attack the president of the United States as an animal or as a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler or when they wave signs in the air that said we should have buried Obama with Kennedy, those kinds of things are beyond the bounds." He then reiterated the "all white people are racist" angle that he has taken up by saying, "I think people who are guilty of that kind of personal attack against Obama have been influenced to a major degree by a belief that he should not be president because he happens to be African American." And he concludes by reiterating AGAIN about all of the racism that is fueling people's anger by saying, "It's a racist attitude, and my hope is and my expectation is that in the future both Democratic leaders and Republican leaders will take the initiative in condemning that kind of unprecedented attack on the president of the United States."

Man, all of that, every single word of it makes me angry. But I'm angry at Jimmy Carter and I'm white, so does that make me a racist? Probably, if you're asking him. He cites no examples of how people are being racist because they don't like a President who happens to be black. Maybe that's because he's not ALL black! He's half white, you know! And when did he become ALL black, anyway? Because if you'll remember, during the campaign, there were questions in some circles of idiots as to whether he was "black enough". So if that was the case during the campaign, how did we get to where we are today where he's clearly "too black"? I don't know, but I'm guessing that pinheads like Jimmy Carter who are spewing their vapid notions to college students have a lot to do with it.

Allow me, however, to dispel the very basis for which he made his claim to the Emory students. Here is a photo from a protest when George W. Bush was President. Behold!

Here's another photo, again GW Bush. Behold!

More signs during a protest . Signs that reflect my general sentiment about both issues there.

I don't have unlimited time to find every photo that there is, so I don't have a one of Bush being portrayed as an animal. I do have one of George Bush appearing to eat a very cute kitten, however. Behold!

Here's a sign that is short and to the point about what they're going to do to President Bush. It says they're going to kill him. Wait. I thought Mr. Carter said that was unprecedented or something. Fueled by racism? If that were the case, why would someone have that sign with that message for Bush on it? Bush wasn't black (still isn't from what I've heard). All of those things that Mr. Carter attributed as being unique to President Barry simply are not.

And by calling Joe Wilson a racist, Jimmy Carter has effectively (hopefully not very effectively) in essence made it near impossible to disagree with President Barry without the point of contention labeled as being due to racism. If Carter can deduce that Joe Wilson is a racist from two, two-letter words ("You lie!") then I'd have to say that anything that was in disagreement with President Barry would be grounds for being a racist if you're going by Jimmy Carter's absurd standard. Great. That helps. (It really doesn't. At all. It just makes people more angry.)

And while I can sit and listen to Jimmy Carter say that Joe Wilson is a racist for what he said, I didn't hear (and I never do when this topic comes up) what it would look like if Joe Wilson disagreed with President Barry and was not a racist. Jimmy Carter also didn't get into any rationale as to why someone couldn't simply agree with President Barry based upon principle and not upon race. Why can't it be because Joe Wilson didn't agree with what President Barry said and thought it to be dishonest as the reason he yelled "You lie!"? Why isn't that an option? Why is "He's a racist" the only option?

Now I'm not saying that this country is 100% not racist. There are some incredibly racist sections of this country. And former President Carter was right when he said that there are portions of the South that are still in the throes of racism. Good Lord, are there ever. But to deem everyone a racist because they disagree with a black guy? How much sense does that make? Not much. What makes even less sense is that CNN felt the need to include in their account of this incident "Actor and comedian Bill Cosby, who is black, said Wednesday in a written statement that he agrees with Carter." (Wait. Bill Cosby is black?! Are you sure?!) And this is their example that Bill Cosby agrees with Jimmy Carter that it was racism that prompted the "You lie!" shout. Ready? "During President Obama's speech on the status of health care reform, some members of Congress engaged in a public display of disrespect. While one representative hurled the now infamous 'you lie' insult at the president, others made their lack of interest known by exhibiting rude behavior such as deliberately yawning and sending text messages." What the hell does that have to do with anything?! Now if we're white and we yawn or text (which is how a lot of us spend the majority of our days) that makes us racist too?! What the hell, CNN?

All of this makes even less sense if you consider that Carter doesn't seem to think that it works the other way. Carter was speaking at the "...28th annual town hall meeting at Emory, where he has been a professor since 1982" when the Kanye West issue came up. Carter voiced that he " thought it was completely uncalled for and his punishment was to appear on the new Jay Leno show." Really? Tell me if that was a black woman picking up her award and a white guy ran up there and gave the same rant that Kanye gave, tell me that wouldn't have been labeled as racism. It SO would have! Joe Wilson yells "You lie!" and gets "You're a racist." Kanye West pulls his stunt at the VMAs and he gets "It was uncalled for." Uncalled for? Come on! How come Kanye's stunt doesn't make HIM a racist?! Kanye West doesn't care about white singers!

Maybe there wouldn't be such an issue about racism if people would stop reacting to every little thing as if it IS racism when it clearly is not. You can disagree with someone if one of you is white and one of you is black and have it be about something other than your race. I swear you can! But unless people like Jimmy Carter stop spewing their racist accusations against someone who is guilty of nothing more than being white, then perhaps maybe everything will HAVE to be assumed to be based on race. If you're going to drag race into everything, especially into things where it clearly has NO role at all, you're certainly not doing anything to empower either the black people or the white people. You could end up with the black people never taking responsibility for themselves and blaming the slightest thing on race and you could also have the white people ending up not interacting due to the automatically generated label that says that they're a racist.

None of that sounds very good. What say Jimmy Carter and Kanye West go hang out on some island together and discuss their racist theories with each other. Heck, what say we send Bill Cosby along with them. That'd quiet things down a bit. Finally.

Sphere: Related Content