Ten

Here's a story that has so much wrong with it in just the first three paragraphs that it's difficult to continue reading. The headline was off-putting enough. "10-year old Mexican girl gives birth to baby boy after 31-week pregnancy". Eww. And, oh God. Hard to believe that gets worse, eh? Well, I don't know if it's 'worse' exactly, but it sure as hell ain't better.

The article goes on to say that "The premature infant, which weighed 3.3 pounds, was born by Caesarian section...and is in the intensive care unit recovering from pneumonia." 3.3 pounds. I bought a chicken the other day that was more than 3.3 pounds! That's a tiny baby. But, wait! There's more. It also says that "The young mother...has returned home after the procedure but visits the baby every day to breastfeed". A ten year old. Breast feeding. Why in the world was this allowed to happen?! She's TEN! There are a lot of things that ten-year olds should be doing, but breast feeding certainly is not among those things!

Now, I don't know if the family would have been interested in an abortion (even though I kind of think that they probably should have been), but it wouldn't have mattered anyway because in Mexico, the "...minimum age of consent is 12". Soooo...wait. A ten-year old gets knocked up somehow (they are currently "...investigating whether the girl could have been raped and who the father is") and there is not an abortion option?! How is that possible?! There is every time of sick bastard in the world out there and nothing can be put past any of them. So if they just happen to get a child pregnant and that child is under 12, then that child is basically forced to go through a pregnancy!? And have a freaking baby?! Our neighbors to the south, ladies and gentlemen. How 'bout a big round of applause? No? Ok, then.

This is insane. A ten-year old is in what...fourth grade? Good Lord, a fourth grader should not be having children. And if someone is raped, I don't care how old they are, they shouldn't be caught up in some sort of a legality that puts them in the position to be essentially forced to have a child that they don't want. Way to go, Mexico. And for all of you jackass lawmakers and religious nutjobs in this country that think that abortion should be greatly restricted or outlawed altogether, you people need to step into reality for a minute and ask yourself about situations like this horror that went on. She's ten! And I'm nauseous.

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Another Cartoon Fakeroversy

I guess that whole deal that some Muslims do with freaking out over cartoons that they find offensive or blasphemous or whatever the heck they want to call it, must work for them. And it must have been noticed by other groups as well. Or at least some Mexicans who are flipping out over "An American cartoonist's rendition of the Mexican flag" which depicts a "...normally a regal-looking eagle at the center of Mexico's flag riddled with bullets and bleeding." Uh-huh. And they've got their tortillas in a wad because why? Because they claim "...it's offensive to taint their national symbol with images of drug violence." Wait. What now?

Correct. According to AOL News, a one Daryl Cagle, who is employed by MSNBC.com (I'm not sure why that's important, but AOL News included it, so I figured that I would, too), drew the cartoon of the flag with the gunned down eagle as a "...reference to the drug wars that have riled Mexico and left more than 28,000 people dead there in less than four years. " That seems like a pretty reasonable visual metaphor to depict. Oh, but not for everyone. No, there are plenty of asshats out there who think that because they don't like something that other people should give a crap. And a lot of people don't. Oh, and by the way, here is the cartoon drawing in question. Behold!

One reader of some sort of a Mexican newspaper called el Universal (I have no idea what that it. It could be like The National Enquirer for all I know. After all, in that picture over there on the left, they have prominently featured a one Rihanna. Who knows what that's all about?), wrote in to say "It is a shame that a patriotic symbol like our flag, which is so beautiful to me, can be mocked by a stupid cartoonist...I think there are many other ways to graphically protest what's happening in our country." Unfortunately, he did not give any suggestions as to what those other ways might perhaps be. And really, the guy shouldn't just single out "stupid cartoonists". It can be mocked by anyone, regardless of intelligence and/or the ability to draw, and it probably has been.

Cagle has a blog which I have perused and found to be most excellent. A sample of his work can be seen on the right. He has several of his political cartoons which feature Mexico and it's impact/relationship on/with the United States. He's definitely right on target. But the fact that he has a blog means that people have easy access to communicate with him. It goes along with the blogging. (You should see some of the emails that people write me. They're not always happy if you can imagine that!) And on this issue, they certainly did. A one Ramon De Leon wrote, "I think your idea of bringing the violence in Mexico to light is excellent. Too bad you butchered it along with the Mexican flag. Laws in Mexico with regards to the use and depiction of the flag are in place to prevent this sort of stuff. Please consider taking it down and issuing an apology to the Mexican American community." Um, are you kidding?

See, laws in Mexico are different than those in the United States. Take your immigration policy, for example. Much, MUCH different. We don't have laws against freedom of speech, even when in regard to the flag. And even if we did, I doubt that those laws would extend to the flags of other nations. I can only hope that Mr. Cagle will not issue an apology. I'm pretty sure he's the kind of guy who isn't going to take it down, but a lot of people find themselves with their back against the wall and are sort of "forced" into apologizing for something that isn't worthy of an apology in the first place.

So, they're upset because someone doesn't respect their flag? Tell you guys what. How about you start respecting anything having to do with America and then we'll talk about your flag? Or, perhaps, do something about your drug violence and then we'll talk about the cartoon. But with over 12 million of your countrymen living illegally in this country and having zero respect for our laws, I'm not going to feel all that bad that you folks are all bent out of shape about this flag cartoon. It didn't get the Muslims anywhere and it isn't going to get you anywhere, so just pipe down. Or draw a cartoon about the American flag if that makes you feel better. I really don't think I care what you do, just stop making it out to be a big deal because it might be a lot of things, but a big deal certainly isn't one of them.

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Well, We're Securing SOMEONE'S Borders

In a move that is both difficult to comprehend and understand, the Homeland Security Secretary, a one Janet Napolitano (former governor of Arizona), has agreed that the United States federal government should and will help secure the borders. Of Saudi Arabia. Wait. Of...of...what the what?!

Correct. According to something called World Tribune (dot-com, of course), the very same Janet Napolitano is quoted as saying, "It is a very rough border, very difficult to protect from illegal crossings." Uh-huh. And your point is....? I'm not quite getting it. Well, you know, "So many of our discussions were about how to protect a very tough, geological, topographical border from illegal crossings." These inexplicable remarks were made when she was visiting "the Saudi kingdom" on May 31, 2010. (I don't really know why they didn't just say "Saudi Arabia", so it might not be the same, but I'm guessing that it's pretty darned close.

And according to something called the Middle East Newsline (I'm sure they're reputable) "Officials said Riyad and Washington were expanding cooperation in protecting the kingdom's borders from insurgents and smugglers." Oh, good! Cooperating with another country to help secure some borders. That sounds promising. Wait. I keep forgetting that we're not talking about the US borders here. Silly me. Why would I keep thinking that the federal government would be protecting our own borders first?! What am I thinking?!

But enough about me. How about more from Janet Napolitano? She made the point that "So many of our discussions were about how to protect a very tough, geological, topographical border from illegal crossings." I'm still a little unclear on why we can't have these discussions about the US borders! Why are we OK with securing every other border except for our own?! Does no one else see the irony in this?!

Oh, no. Of course not. See, "We all share a concern about terrorist activity emanating from Yemen. Actions of the U.S. in Yemen are with the consent, cooperation of the government of Yemen." Oohhh. OK. I got it now. Look, just substitute "Mexico" for "Yemen". That's why this isn't happening here. Mexico doesn't want to secure the borders. They don't want to cooperate. They're too busy with their drug cartels and their corruption to worry about securing the borders. Granted, none of that explains why we, the world's superpower, can't just do it ourselves, but I'm sure there's a reason. I can't imagine what it is, but it's either a reason or just sheer stupidity on the part of Homeland Security. I'm holding out for a reason. See, because if I don't, I'll have to build the wall around my walled off compound at least two feet higher and it's already pretty high. I'm thinking about just going to a dome defense. We are so doomed. And screwed. Totally scroomed.

Why has mainstream media not picked up on this little gem of a story? Why am I reading about this online in something called the World Tribune (no offense, World Tribune)?! Why am I not seeing this on the alphabet networks nightly newscasts? I don't get it! We're willing to spend our time, our resources and quite possibly our lives defending other countries borders, but not our own?! Don't get me wrong. I'm all for stopping the terrorism threat from Yemen from flowing anywhere. That's a good thing. But I can hardly see the logic in being all gung-ho over something like that, but not seeing the need for the same sort of importance and implementation in this country! And not only not seeing the need, but coming out against any sort of attempt by the states, specifically Arizona, to take illegal immigration matters into their own hands!

I don't get it.

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The Gaudiness of Drug Dealers

Down south in Mexico, America's...Shoe, the drug cartels are in full swing these days. To say that it is a big business would be a gross understatement. It's enormous. And they take all of this drug trafficking thing VERY seriously. So seriously that the drug gangs in Mexico are incredibly violent (they have a penchant for de-noggin-izing those who get in the way of their profiteering) and it's really not all that safe down in the non-touristy parts of Mexico right now. (Mexico thrives on the spots that the tourists frequent. without the tourism dollars, Mexico's economy would tank. The drug lords know this and basically stay away from the high tourist destinations. They prefer to keep their organized mayhem amongst the locals and let the visitors to their country see the sights. Aahhh, the sign of a good businessman.)

Now, the gangs and the cartels are all making an incredible amount of money with the whole trading of the drugs around. And like any capitalist enterprise, a percentage of the revenue goes back into the business and what is left after that is the profit. No sense in just keeping a big pile of money around. That would appear to be the line of thinking that the drug lords tend to go with. Thus, they spend it on items to not only enhance their standing within the gang-drug-trade profession/organizations, it also enables them to look as cool as they think that they are. That is to say, not very. "Shiny" would describe their purchases with their ill-begotten funds more than "cool" would.

When a drug lord gets busted (still not real clear on how or when that happens, but it apparently does on occasion) Mexico's Asset Administration and Disposal Service (the ol' SAE) gets to gather up their belongings and sell them off and then disperse the proceeds between the attorney general's office, the court system and the health department. Huh. Diverse.

And while it's a fine idea, my question is who is going to buy this stuff? Because it would seem to me that the people who would be in the market for some of these items are the exact same type of people that the items were seized from. The drug lords! Behold!

Here we have what appears to be Mexico's version of the perp walk, only instead of parading the suspects out in front of a live studio audience, they parade them past the cache of weaponry that has just been seized from their Tuf-Shed. Behold!

But if you really want to make a statement (not sure exactly about WHAT, but a statement, nonetheless), you can always go with something a bit more flashy....more gaudy....more...Zorro the Really, Really Gay Blade, But With a Gun. Like this!

And if you'd really like to show people what kind of a drug lord you are, you can wheel and deal on this gold and diamond encased cell phone (which would show that you're the type of drug lord who doesn't know when people are laughing at them), behold!

So do you think that the local shopkeeper who is looking for a firearm for protection is going to think to himself, "I wonder if they have any solid gold Colt handguns somewhere around here? Maybe Sears? Where would I get me something like that? Ooh! And a holster with rhinestones! Yeah, I WISH."

I ran the text of the placard there in the front through Google Translate and it returned this translation:

"marcotraficante staff of the weapon is also their working tool, it aims to express the symbol of his "power", hence the preference for larger sizes, at the same time the weapon is a showcase to display their wealth, through ostentatious cachas and recorded in the body of the gun." Translation of the translation: Penis extension. Doesn't matter the country, doesn't matter the language, it's a penis extension no matter how you look at it. (And hopefully you won't have to!)

I think if Scarface were gay and had a Vegas show with a gangster theme, these would be only some of the props.Sign translation: Someting about it being a Colt .45 and it was taken at a Gold Cup National Soccer Match. Huh. Why do you need a gold, silver and be-diamonded handgun at a soccer match? In case there's a bad call?

Here we have Jesus. No! Not THAT Jesus! Jesus. Son of God Jesus. You know Him! And what personal firearm would be complete without a small gold Jesus on the side of the grip? At least, I think it's Jesus. Could be one of those Saints that they have one of for everything over there. Violente, the patron saint of drug trafficking perhaps?

Below is a gold plated Versace gun and $30,000 in cash. Hey! I don't think that gun is REALLY a Versace! Did you buy the gun at the same place where they were selling designer handbags for really cheap? That might explain it. And I've got ten bucks that says that the owner of that gun wore Sergio Valente jeans as well.
And these are just the weapons. Can you imagine what their drug financed dwellings must look like if they bling-out their firearms like that? Let's take a look and see if a drug lords taste in weaponry is similar to his taste in home decor, shall we?

Well. Here's something you don't see every day. Thank God. What the hell is that? It's like a man-made cavern INSIDE of someone's house. Well, palace. OK, DRUG PALACE. Regardless, it's freaking weird! I can't tell if that thing in the water is supposed to be a floating shoe or a canoe or what.

What drug chalet would be complete without the cache of exotic animals to serve as pets (and to hopefully get them laid)? Here we have the everyday drug dealer pet, the black panther. These particular panthers are not wearing the traditional diamond medallions that are seen on some of the more commonly owned black panthers.

So, say I was a drug lord. Where, exactly, do I go about buying myself a lion? Behold!

It's kind of like how Michael Jackson's Neverland was; just substitute all of the children with drugs and they're practically the same. You have to have a cherub doing a handstand by the pool! If you don't, the other drug lords will think that you're a wuss.
In case you're thinking about picking up some of these gems for your own personal abode and wanted to know how to go about something as odd as that, according to The Telegraph, the auctions to sell these items usually take place in "upmarket hotels or on eBay". eBay?! Next to Sarah Palin's state jet or what? That doesn't seem right. Then again, neither does burning all of the drugs that they've seized once they've got Cokey Smurf behind bars. Behold!

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