Separated At Birth: Gaddafi Style

Gaddafi's body has been on display for a few days now. I guess they have him in some sort of store front freezer or something like that? Yeah, that's a third world viewing if I've ever heard of one. But I'd like to share with you the top ten things that were overheard from people who went to view the body. Ready? Here we go...


Number Ten...Hey, look, it's the dark haired guy from Hall & Oates.

Number Nine...Hey, look, it's Sonia Sotomayor.

Number Eight...Hey, look, it's Charles Bronson.

Number Seven...Hey, look, it's Keith Richards.

Number Six...Hey, look, it's Mick Jagger.

Number Five...Hey, look, it's Animal from the Muppets.

Number Four...Hey, look, it's Gene Simmons.

Number Three...Hey, look, it's Lionel Richie.

Number Two...Hey, look, it's the guitarist from Metallica.

And the number one thing overheard from the people who were looking at Gaddafi's body in a freezer...Hey, look, it's Carlos Santana.

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That's A Kick In The Pants

Well, just when the you thought that whole Gaddafi thing couldn't get any weirder, it kind of did. Those rebels were pissed at him. And from what you can see when you slow down the video of his capture, it would appear that the rebels felt that a just action at the time would be attempting to shove some sort of stick or handle up his arse, a la sodomy style. Behold!

Hmm. Yes, yes there does appear to be someone attempting to rectally insert that...object. But I'm going to need another picture. What else do we have?

Yeah, he's pretty intent on getting whatever that is up Gaddafi's ass. Interesting. But really, how far does he expect that thing to go when he's still wearing pants? I appreciate the effort, but it seem futile.

But he does really give it the ol' rebel try there, I'll give him that. And that aside, I'm not quite convinced that this falls in the category of being "sodomized". Oh, it looks absolutely uncomfortable, there's not much of a doubt about that. But I don't know that it isn't sensationalism to say that he was sodomized. He was poked in the butt with some sort of poking device. And while that is extremely accurate, I guess it just doesn't make for a very good headline.

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A Little Bit, But Not Much

Sorry for the lack of more lengthy posts this week. It's been kind of busy around here. That doesn't mean that it's going to be any different today. I'm just apologizing.

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Tripods For Libya

You know what I wish for "new Libya" now that Gaddafi is gone? Well, for starters, I wish for more steady impromptu video recordings. Is it some sort of hotbed of seismic activity over there? How come all of this footage of Gaddafi getting captured is as if the person with the camera was atop a very active trampoline during these events? I want steady footage of Gaddafi getting what he had coming to him. Hopefully, the new regime will see the need for watchable video and get right on that. Seriously, check out the video below to see what I'm talking about. It's unwatchable.

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Ding Dong, Gaddafi's Gone

Well, hey. Moammar Gaddafi was killed today. I'm guessing that he's really regretting signing up for that whole "Find My Friends" thing on his new iPhone 4S. And with Gaddafi dead, that definitely means some big changes. Not only for the future of Libya, but also for the future of my Halloween costume. OK, I think I'm done with my typewritten stand-up routine. For now.

I was reading various comment sections of various online publications to see how people felt about this turn of events. (By the way, I love how he was found hiding in some sort of drain. What is it with deposed dictators who end up hiding in holes? Don't get me wrong, I like the idea. I just didn't know that it was some sort of 'thing'.) And I just wanted to take this moment to make one thing clear. Anytime you read a comment from someone who says that he shouldn't have been killed and that he should have been put on trial or something like that? Yeah, those people are also known as idiots. Things work differently in different parts of the world. Folks really need to remember that.




I was really kind of hoping that they were going to cut off his head and parade it around on a pike or something like that. Granted, it might seem a bit extreme, but I think it's warranted in this situation. I mean, we didn't get any macabre resolution with bin Laden. We should really be treated to a gruesome show of triumph every now and then. But I'm willing to wait if more and more dictators end up being taken out. Where's Kim Jung Il these days?

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Condi And Moammar, Sittin' In A Tree

So now that Gaddafi's compound has been taken over by the rebels, we're getting a glimpse into some of the things that the man had a penchant for. Some are more surprising than others. Personally, I was hoping that they'd come upon something with his name spelled on it so that there would finally be some sort of consensus. Maybe like a utility bill or his driver's license or something similar. But as far as I know, nothing like that has turned up yet. What has turned up? Well, for starters, we have this gun. Behold! How come dictators always have lots of guns like this one, but yet when it comes time to fight, they're no where to be found. What good is a gold and diamond plated firearm if you're not going to use it? Then again, if you're a dictator, chances are you're probably pretty cowardly anyway, so I guess that explains it. What has yet to be explained is Gaddafi's apparent love for a one Condoleezza Rice. That's right. Condi. Behold! That's a little odd. I mean, I suppose that she's an attractive woman and all. I just have never thought of her as the sort of attractive that would have someone practically stalking her. Then again, this is kind of a crazy dictator, so I guess anything is possible. He's been quoted as saying "I support my darling black African woman...I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. ... Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. ... I love her very much. I admire her, and I'm proud of her, because she's a black woman of African origin." Now, I don't know about you, but I hear "Leezza" and I think "Gibbons".Gaddafi was really into Condi, though. He didn't think "Gibbons" when he heard her name. No, he wanted her. Badly.

I don't know why I find this all amusing. I'm sure that everyone has their little quirks. I'm sure that everyone has a thing for a former Secretary of State and they keep photo albums of her. Right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. I can't wait to hear what other things Gaddafi has in his compound. (You know there's porn. It's just a matter of what kind of porn.)

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