Friday, December 11, 2009

Wacky Things I Saw Today

The Internet is chock full of stuff. Some stuff is meant to be funny. The stuff that's really funny is the stuff that is not meant to be funny, but it so is funny. Today will be an example of some of those things. Ready? Let's go.

On Facebook, there are little ads that show up over on the side of the page. From what I can tell, they're all completely useless. No one is buying any of that crap. No one is falling for any of that crap. But yet, they're still there because the people that put out the ads still buy the space. That can mean only one thing. That's right. People (morons, most likely) do click on them. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. Especially when they look like this ad that I saw today. Behold!
Um, he's whose mother, exactly? Sasquatch's? Scholarships For Moms, indeed.

Another item along a similar line of computer generated content would be those little captcha images. That's what they call those one or two funky fonted words in a box and make you type in what those words are in order to access or do whatever it is that you're going to do. (It's not just for porn, so get your mind out of the gutter! They're everywhere!) I've seen some pretty strange words. I've seen plenty of words that I'm fairly certain were made up. But it hadn't occurred to me that there could be some unintentional and extremely unfortunate pairing of some words. Words like these for example. Behold!

Humping. Grandchildren. That's real nice, Facebook. All the changed Privacy settings in the world aren't going to do anything to prevent that from showing up. Nice.

This one is only amusing in light of recent events. The seemingly constantly fornicating adulterer Tiger Woods has had several high profile endorsements recently, one of which being Tag Heuer watches. All I'm saying is that it's just an unfortunate tag-line or slogan or whatever that's called. Behold!

What are you made of? Well, let's light of recent events that the fact that you seem to sleep with every bimbo that you encounter, I'm going to guess...chlamydia?

And finally, remember the Sex and the City movie? SATC for those of you who are into that sort of thing? Yeah, it was a huge hit. So huge that they're doing it again. SATC2. Catchy, eh? But let's revisit the movie poster from the original. Behold!

OK, that seems about right. It's about what I'd expect. Now let's look at the movie poster that will be advertising the sequel. Behold!

Oh, what the hell is that? Is this like some sort of hybrid sequel? Like Sex and the City meets Back to the Future? No, wait! I've got it. She's going to replace that sparkly androgynous figure that walks out at the beginning of every episode of American Idol! Are the SATC gals trying out for American Idol in the flick? That has to be it! And then they go Back to the Future and appear on Soul Train! Whew! Good thing I figured that out. A poster like that could have kept me awake at night for weeks. Then again, at the sight of those glasses, there is the likelihood that when this poster is more widely circulated (and most certainly after the movie comes out) there will be a sudden surge in demand for the reflective sunglasses so that everyone can be going around looking like Ponch from CHiPs. Wow. I may never sleep again as I ponder that nightmare.

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