Thursday, November 19, 2009

Things That Are Younger Than Senator Byrd

Yesterday marked quite the milestone in American politics and I'm not sure that it was for the better. No, yesterday was the day that the ancient, 92-years old tomorrow Robert Byrd, former Klansman and current Senator of West Virginia became the longest serving lawmaker in the US Capitol. That's right. The barely coherent and only sometimes understandable Senator Byrd has served for a total of 20,774 days, according to the Los Angeles Times. Yep. Ever since January 3, 1953, the voting people of West Virginia have decided that Robert Byrd is the man that they want to represent them, though why I can't quite figure out because I'm fairly certain that the man is not fully in control of all of his mental faculties. He might know where he is and who he is most of the time, but other than that, I'm going to guess and say it's a coin flip. You can check out the video below and judge for yourself. But keep in mind, this is a man who is making laws that effect the nation!

Seriously, West Virginia. What are you thinking?! The man can barely hold his head up. Mind you, I'm not making fun of the elderly and/or the infirm. I'm mocking the people of West Virginia for electing someone like that! What was he saying about the Senator from Timbuktu? Never mind. (But say, what do you think really woke him up for a minute there?)

Look, the point is, Robert Byrd is old. Really old. I know some oldsters and I don't know anyone who is as old as he is. That's when I started thinking about how long Robert Byrd has been around. He's been around not only longer than most people, but he's also been around longer than a lot of things (some of which seem as if they've been around forever!). Let's see some things that are younger than Robert Byrd, shall we?

McDonald's is younger than Robert Byrd. The first McDonald's was opened in 1940, but the first franchised McDonald's was opened in 1955, two years after Robert Byrd was first elected to the House.

Kool-Aid. Kool-Aid was invented in 1927. None of its offshoot products ever really took off (who thought that people would want Kool-Aid pie fillings and ice cream mixes anyway?), but Kool-Aid is still going strong today and it is nine years younger than Robert Byrd.

Band-Aids. Band-Aids were invented in 1920 by a one Earle Dickson whose wife, Janice, was apparently very accident prone and was cutting herself almost every day! Good thing the guy was too dense to just figure out to keep all sharp objects away from that chick, otherwise we might never have had Band-Aids a mere 3 years after the birth of Robert Byrd.

The ballpoint pen. That's right. The ballpoint didn't show up until 1938. Robert Byrd would have been a full 21-years old. It must have been strange for him to have to give up his quill and ink well after all that time.

Prohibition. From the time that Robert Byrd was 3 years old until the time that he would have been turning 16, America was an allegedly dry country. Granted, during that time, all of the lawmakers were sure boozing it up, perhaps piquing Senator Byrd's interest in entering the public service domain.

FM Radio. FM radio hit the airwaves just in time for Robert Byrd's 21st birthday in 1938.

Betty Crocker cake mixes. OK, seriously?! He's older than cake mix?! Well, considering that Betty Crocker commercialized their cake mix around 1947, Robert Byrd has 30 years on the cake mix.

The credit card. For 33 years, clear up until 1950 when Diner's Club first came up with the idea of paying for things with plastic (and then later claiming bankruptcy and not having to pay for it at all), Robert Byrd was paying in cash.

And just a few more little tidbits....In 1917 when Robert Byrd was born....

...gasoline was 18.45 cents a gallon.

...postage stamps were three cents.
...111 people reported their income at over $1 million.
...the average annual income was $368.56. Yes, that's per year.

Congratulations, Senator Byrd?

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Anonymous said...

Awesome post - found this on Google after seeing the Timbuktu video. Can't stop laughing...

Mare said...

Thanks, Anonymous!

I laugh EVERY time I watch that Timbuktu video. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't, but I do. Every. Time.

Thanks for reading!

~ Mare