Thursday, July 2, 2009

Technically, It's a Landing Strip


No one likes it when their flight is delayed. But I'd imagine that it's more miserable when one's flight is delayed because of some jackass on the plane who's making life difficult for other passengers. You've heard the story. The drunk. The disorderly. The disrobing. The disruptive. The...um...hey. Wait. What was that one? Right before 'disruptive'? Yeah. The disrobing? Uh, what now?

According to the LA Times a man identified as a one Keith Anthony Wright, age old enough to know better at 50, was aboard a US Airways jet that originated in Charlotte, NC and was on the way to Los Angeles. For some reason, Mr. Wright decided that all of the clothing that he was wearing was suddenly too cumbersome or something. Whatever the reason, it rendered the clothing unnecessary for Mr. Wright, who shed every stitch that he was wearing mid-flight. Seriously. Behold!


Look, I'm all for someone not talking during the flight. I can only stand to hear about the life and times of someone who, if all goes well, I will likely never see again in my life. You don't want to talk? Fine with me. You don't want to talk, but you DO want to take off all of your clothes and just sit there like nothing's out of the ordinary? That's not so fine with me, you fruitcake.

Of course, flight attendants (and I'm sure screaming passengers) requested that Mr. Wright put his clothing back on, but to no avail. The thing is, from what I can tell, he wasn't doing anything other than being naked. Granted, that's enough! I agree! But it just makes it so odd. I mean, there are plenty of completely disgusting things that he could have been doing as he sat there unclad. But he just appeared to be sitting there. That is, until he got into a fight with the two off duty cops who were on the flight. Then he was a bit unruly.


Fortunately, the guys with the clothes won and managed to subdue him to the point where they could put those plastic-tie handcuffs on him and attach him to the seats. Oh, and cover him up with a blanket until they made an emergency landing in Albuquerque where he was arrested and ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. You think?!


If I were on that flight, as I've previously stated, I'd be annoyed. Perhaps that is what motivated a one Marius Langlete, who was seated across from the Naked Gun and helped restrain him, to take several pictures with his phone and immediately upload them to the Internet. Ah, technology. Is there anything it can't do?


One of Mr. Wright's family members who commented on his 'behavior' gave the excuse that he is "bi-polar", to which I say, "Please pipe down." There are a lot of fully clad people out there who are bi-polar. Being bi-polar has nothing to do with whether or not you keep all of your clothes on at all time throughout the flight. Just like you keep your tray table in that upright position, you keep your damn clothes on, got it? I don't care if you're bi-polar or homicidal (well, I do kinda care about the homicidal part, especially if you're in the middle seat next to me, because everyone in that seat is just cranky), the unsaid rule that society in general has agreed upon is clothing is MANDATORY regardless of your mental illness!

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