He's Not Exhausted Either

I am clearly doing exhaustion all wrong. I mean, first I heard about that Jason Russell guy of KONY2012 fame who was "exhausted" and ended up butt naked on a street corner with his junk flapping in the wind. And now I hear about Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino who is apparently doing rehab to kick a problem with "prescription medication use" which apparently stemmed from being exhausted. Who knew?!

According to the huffy folks over there at the Huffington Post, one of the guys who is on the inexplicably successful MTV program "Jersey Shore", Mike, has checked himself into rehab. According to the article, he is "...getting treatment for prescription medication use." Now, can't we all just assume that it's painkillers? What else would it be? I find it highly unlikely that he's hooked on penicillin or something innocuous such as that. I mean, if they're going to tell us anything at all, why don't they just tell us how it is instead of giving us bits and pieces? Because all that serves is to make them look ridiculous for thinking that we're going to buy a lame excuse.

The article goes on to say that "Mike Sorrentino says he's voluntarily seeking to "take control" of medication he was taking to deal with exhaustion." Again with someone claiming exhaustion? When I'm exhausted, I sleep. What I don't do is pop a bunch of painkillers and then head out to some happening bar at the Jersey Shore where I will likely get s***faced drunk and go home and bang some random female with bolt-on breasticles who I will never see again. Exhaustion?

I don't have a lot of respect for a lot of these people to begin with. But I would have at least a certain degree of not loathing them if they would just be up front and honest with the public that they seem to feel that they are either indebted to or who they (wrongly) think are hanging on their every move. I don't give a fat rat's ass about The Situation or any other situation. But if he's going to blow smoke up my ass, the least that he could do is make it truthful smoke.

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Leave Charlie Sheen Alone

There's an awful lot of scary stuff going on in the world right now and I need a break. Thank God for Charlie Sheen. (There's a sentence I never thought I'd type.)

As you may or may not be aware, Charlie Sheen is in rehab. And from what I can tell, he is none too happy about it. I base that solely on a text message that Charlie apparently sent to a one Dylan Howard, the senior editor at RadarOnline which read: "People don't seem to get it.... Guy can't have a great time and do his job also? Bunch of turds." Is it sad that it doesn't surprise me at all that Charlie Sheen has the number of the senior editor at RadarOnline? It's certainly not shocking, that's for sure.

Charlie Sheen is a party animal. He seems to like to work during the week and then turn his weekends into one long, drug fueled, stripper fest with a bunch of mattress actresses. But then on Monday or whenever it is that he is supposed to be back on the set of "Two and a Half Men", he's there! He puts in his time, he does his job and everything is fine. Yeah, not so fast.

"Two and a Half Men" is gold to CBS. That show nets them millions and millions. And they don't want anything to happen to their cash cow. Unfortunately, the cow likes to really party it up in the barn with all of his hooker heifers. This apparently has people worried for his "well-being". And really, in this situation, I don't know if they should get all up in arms about it.

See, some people can really party and still manage to live. Have you seen Keith Richards lately? He looks awful, but you can't tell me that thirty years ago, folks would have bet money that he'd be alive and kickin' it today. No way. But some folks are just like that. The human body is amazing. So many people think that the body is some precious little snowflake, but in reality, the human body kicks ass. It can take an awful lot of abuse. And Charlie Sheen seems pretty bent on seeing what his limits actually are.

On the one hand, I understand why people are concerned about Charlie Sheen. It would appear that he is on the path of self-destruction. On the other hand, as long as he can do his job and function, does it matter? I mean, no one wants to see anyone self destruct. I get that. But is he hurting anyone besides himself? Does he have children? Yes? OK, then. That's not good. If he was child free, I'd be free of criticism (other than the fact that someone with that much money should really find a better use for it other than hookers and blow). But he's not, so let's not overlook that.

Considering that the show is about a drunken womanizer (which is basically what Charlie Sheen is in real life), I don't know that CBS should really be messing with a good thing. After all, the show does seem funnier when you're aware of the back story that goes on in real life. Let him do what he does and leave him alone.

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No S---, Sherlock

This bit of today's blog fodder will be placed in a new category which I am appropriately calling "No S---!" It will be obvious which stories will fall into the "No S---" category, as they will be the ones that you read and you automatically think, "No s---!" Uttering a ridiculously sarcastic sounding "Sherlock!" after you incredulously say "No s---!" is purely optional. Use it if you feel like it. It's up to you.

The inaugural subject of "No S---!" or "NO S---, Sherlock!" is Steven Tyler. As you may or may not already know, Steven Tyler, the lead singer for the ridiculously awesome band whose members are surprisingly still alive Aerosmith, had checked into rehab in May. And while the singer of a rock band checking into rehab isn't usually surprising, at the time, it was in Tyler's case. That's because he claimed that he had checked into rehab to recover from a foot surgery.

According to the folks over yonder there at the AP, "Tyler said the procedures were to correct longtime foot injuries resulting from his physical performances as the singer for the blues-rock band." Wait a minute. "Blues-rock band"? Since when? I've listened to Aerosmith for quite some time (Was really wasted in the 8th row at one of their concerts once.) and I don't recall the "blues" part of the "rock band".

Now, seriously folks, did anyone, ANY-ONE, actually buy that he was in "rehab" to recover from "foot surgery"? Sure. Sure they did. If "rehab" means "detox" and if "to recover from foot surgery" means to "overcome some sort of chemical dependence." Sure they did. Un-believable.

I remember hearing about the "foot surgery" and at the time I thought, "Spare me. Can you not come up with anything that is a bit more realistic? Do you think we're all morons?" Apparently the answers to those questions were "No" and "Yes". That's because Tyler now says that he was fighting a dependency on pain and sleep medications. Aaaannddd.....NOW! "No S---!"

On Friday, Tyler told the folks at the AP, "To have your feet done, to have your leg done, you have to be on narcotics. You have to be on sleep aids at night. I don't know about Joe (Perry) but I was off and running and I didn't like the me that was me. This was a month ago, so I just put the brakes on and checked into detox and just pulled the plug on all of it."

So there you have it. He wasn't in rehab for his feet. He was in rehab because he got hooked on the narcotics that usually accompany most types of surgery regardless of which body part has been operated on. So why can he say that now but he couldn't say that then? I have no idea. But it certainly couldn't be that he thought that if the public knew that he had some sort of chemical dependency that it would ruin his image. THAT certainly wasn't it. Folks, THIS is Steven Tyler. It's not about his image:

Well, whatever the reason, all I can say is:

Steven Tyler? Treated for painkiller addiction? No S---!

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